Okay, yesterday I had the, ahem, priviledge, to go for a flight to get some video of a train crash. Now, I don't generally like to fly but I won't usually try to get out of it. It is just that these flights, unless you are in a helicopter are not fun. In fact, back in Green Bay once, I was sent over to Austin Straubel to jump on a plane to get vid of a plane crash (usually two every year around the EAA) and before I could even get out of the NBC mobile commisary the pilot was telling me to go back and get someone smaller because, and I quote, "There ain't no way in hell you are gettin' in my plane."
So you can imagine my caution when I get the call to head over to Regina Flying Club to jump on a plane. I asked him how big the plane was and the assignment editor told me that a guy from Global TV is also going so it will be plenty big. Okay, no prob. Well I get over to the airport and I scan the runway and I don't see anything bigger than a Cessna. Not pleased.
I ask the guy inside which plane we are going on and he points me to this three seater job right in front of the window. Great, this is going to suck. Now if you have ever been in one of these planes you know that the wind pushes them around like an anorexic in a wind storm. So you need to have a bit of a strong stomach. Not only do I have that to contend with but I have to shoot video also. Not conducive to the lunch I just finished eating.
So I am running all kinds of scenarios through my head on how I can get out of this. So I ask him how much the assignment editor told him I weighed. The pilot said that David told him that I weighed 220. Well, yes I did weigh 220, BACK IN HIGH SCHOOL. That's right 1986 was the last time I weighed 220. Needless to say I informed him that I weighed considerably more than that and he then assured me that we were still okay for the flight. Damn.
He tells me to get in the front, which I do and I promtly break the seat. It now reclines a bit more than it should. The pilot also tells me not to bump the controls, which are conviently about an inch from my feet and my knees. Nice. Every time he tried to turn right he hit my knee. I am sooo dead.
Then he turned the thing on. That is when I started to think that this was my last assignment. This thing rattled and shook like Lindsay Lohan looking for her next fix. I was thinking that I needed to call and tell Donna goodbye and to make sure that she gives my signed Brett Favre football to the right person. I kept thinking about that old Canadian show called ENG where they were traveling on a plane up in the bush and the plane crashed and a reporter died along with a producer. All I knew was that I did not want to go out like this.
He got the bad boy off the ground and I immediately got into take a nap mode. When in doubt, sleep. I just did not want to be that guy who pukes on a plane. I could only imagine what that would be like in such a small shitty plane. It took about 40 minutes to get to the train derailment. After we got there the pilot was told that we had to stay up wind of the toxic chemicals and at about 5500 feet. Great, nice way to make pictures. So as you can see in the picture I was sitting on the right side of the plane. The crash was on the to the left of the pilot. We swung around so it was out the right sid of the plane and that left me with a huge ass camera and no way to see what I am shooting as the viewfinder is on the left of the camera.
We fly by a couple of times and as I am holding the camera in my lap and shooting the pilot is looking through the viewfinder of my camera to make sure I have the crash in frame all the while still flying the damb deathtrap plane. Great. He flew by three times and I knew I had all I needed and I was also getting a bit queasy from the hair pin turns. So I said lets go back to Regina. The Global guy in the back asked if we could go by a couple more times, ass. For some reason they decided to send up a guy who had never run a camera before. Brilliant. For all of you who don't know, including the Global camera guy, you don't zoom in when you are shooting from a plane. If you zoom in you will not have steady video. Well he did a lot of zooming and had no usable video.We got back in one piece and my video was fine. No puking for me, but man did I go straight for the junk food when we hit the ground. I needed something to make me feel good. Moral of the story, don't fly in a plane that you are bigger than and don't zoom in whilst you are in the air shooting something on the ground.
Okay, now on to my predictions for the NHL Playoffs. Whooooooo, I love this time of the year. I know Robby DuPuis of the Minneapple DuPuis used to just buy cable once a year during the playoffs. I am going to make this short and sweet because I need to get a call into Mike Chaussee so I can put him on TundraTalk the Podcast.
EASTERN CONFERENCE
(1)Montreal vs Boston(8) - Okay not fond of either of these teams so I will just pick by the ranking and go with the Canadiens.
(2)Pittsburgh vs Ottowa(7) - Now we all know that I always pick the team with a former Gambler on it. Ty Conklin plays for the Penguins so thus I pick the Penguins. I want to see a former Gamblers name on the Stanley Cup. Sorry Mitch.
(3)Washington vs Philly(6) - Again, not to concerned with this series but I do know that Washington has been hot lately and Philly has not. But I am going to go with Philly just because.
(4)New Jersey vs NY Rangers(5) - In the battle of New York I will take Hauser's team. Not fond of the Devils, they are evil.
WESTERN CONFERENCE
(1)Detroit Red Wings vs NashVegas(8) - Okay, we all know that I hate the Dead Wings and their crappy red jerseys, but I am thinking that they will deal Nashville a loss in the first round.
(2)San Jose vs the Godless Flames(7) - Screw the Flames. Sharks in 4.
(3) Minnesota vs the Colorado Avalanche (6) - We all know that the Avs will give the Wild the Finger. Jeff Fingers name on the Cup would be AWESOME. Avs in 6.
(4)Anaheim vs DallASS Stars(8) - Here is another series that I wish both teams would lose. I will go with DallASS because I do not like the Ducks. Pronger is an ass.
Okay there you have my first round predictions. Call your bookie and put all you have on Colorado.
Last but not least I will leave you with this video. I have been wanting to put this up for a while but have not had time. Here is Marty Frey on Leno being questioned by Arsenio's freakishly large hands.
Enjoy.
Marty Frey and A Hall from hamiltongbp on Vimeo.
Now, I got stuff to do so GET BACK TO WORK!!!!
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