Johnny H ties the knot...and dances real bad...

Hello, I just watched something that we all need to get behind. Go to Beer League and sign the petition to get this show on the air. If you love hockey and beer this is the show for you. It is being done by the company I work for and it is killer. I would watch it and buy the DVD. You should too. Just remember if you are at work that there is some swearing and farting so be careful. Pass it on to everyone you know. Thanks.



Just a short one today as I haven't had too much time to think of something to entertain you with. BUT thanks to Johnny H I have some entertaining pics to show you. Johnny Hancock, really his name, lives in Boston, and he got married last week. I would have liked to have been there but my schedule and lack of vacation time prevented me. So congrats to you Johnny and lovely wife Amanda. Good luck with him you are really gonna need it. Whatever you do, please do not let him make hot wings for you. Not gonna go into details about that.

Another story about Johnny H. When we both worked in Green Bay at WGBA he was a producer and I was of course a photog. One evening he decided to send me out to do a story on my own. Meaning 'sans reporter'. Now back in those days I believed that if I was trying to be a reporter AND a photog the quality of the story would suffer because I was trying to do two things at once and I thought that it made your show crappy just by doing it. So I told Johnny H that I was not going to do it. He of course knowing that I had a short temper responded in a smart ass way which I do not recall exactly the words but it set me off. I do remember what I said to him. I believe it ran along the lines of "F you Johnny H." over an over in the middle of the news room. Hauser grabbed me and pulled me out of the room. Turns out that the story he sent me on did not exist so I got the last laugh but I remember that day like it was yesterday. It shows that we must have had a good friendship going that an incident like that could happen and he still invites me to his wedding. Oh by the way, I still believe that a shooter doing a reporters job and a shooters job more times out of not makes a crappy product for air. I just don't throw tantrums any more.

So here is the funny pics of Johnny H dancing.



What in the hell is he thinking right here? Does he think that maybe Britney spears is watching this and since she has a thing for her dancers that he might get a gig dancing and ultimately Mr. Britney Spears number two? errrrr, number three? I am glad he had the suspenders to keep those pants up. All that shaking, which I can only assume was going on, was probably the reason there was a quake in LA.

Here is another classic....



Okay, I am just speechless on this one. I expected to see him doing the sprinkler next, or maybe digging a hole. Johnny H has the moves ladies and gentlemen. Watch out world. Oh and these aren't the only two that are out there. If you want to see the rest click here and here.

Thank you Johnny H for the laughs today. Oh yeah, and congrats I wish I could have been there it looks like it was a good party.

Wait, one more, this is just too easy...




NOW GET BACK TO WORK...

The Unofficial, Official, Blues Clues Unedited Rant....

First of all check out this link to a game that is way tooo funny Daily Show Game

So the tourney is done and I am exhausted. It takes a lot of work to put on THE sporting event in the upper northern western Canada Edmonton Area. Above you can see a pic of me and my haircut. I went all out this year and went as my favorite character from the Trailer Park Boys. Ricky. I had the sweatpants, the shirt, the retractable lighter, good F'n pepperoni, and the cig. Even though I don't exactly know how to use it. It was a huge success and we are not sure how we are going to out do ourselves next year on our 5th anniversary. I am sure we will find a way. We raised a ton of food for the food bank and a good wad of cash. More than tripled our donation on both counts from last year. Not bad. Thanks to all those who helped out. Especially Donna who put up with a lot of me being absent in the last few months.


Here is Donna taking care of the Chili Cook off. Donna Rules!


Okay so lets go back a few weeks and discuss the Blues Clues live thing again. I have had a few requests for the "Unofficial, Official Blues Clues Rant" and I thought it would be okay to post it here. For those of you who have kids and have seen the show this may be very funny to you, but for those of you who have not had the 'privelidge' to see the TV show aimed at toddlers it make take you a viewing on Nick Jr. to get some of the jokes. Venckus knows all about this show and has expressed his opinion on it to me in the past. He also holds Dora in high regard. I will add some hints here and there just so you can keep up.

Here goes.

I thought if I wasn't there with McKenna, which why in the hell would I be there with out her, it would be fun to sit up front and do a bit of heckling. As I noticed at the show the security was a bit lacking. It would probably take about 10 minutes for them to locate me and drag me out. Unless I did a bit of stick and move. I wonder if you could use the excuse that I and many use when we pay for a sporting event that "I paid for the ducket, I have a right to spew some of my opinion at the players." In this case the players would be that idiot 'playing' Joe, or that mensa candidate in the dog suit (Blue is a dog). How does that look on your resume, "Played Blue in the off broadway production of 'Blues Clues Live'." That will get you the lead in Miss Saigon, or Seasame Street on Ice, that is, only if you can skate. My first target would be 'Joe'.

"Hey Joe, you son of a B**ch. You are not even the real Joe. You are impersonating a guy, a stupid guy, who really is impersonating Steve(Steve was the original host who left for 'college' and Joe took over). My three year old calls you Steve. She can't even tell the difference. That is how pathetic you are you green striped shirt wearing loser."

"How stupid are you that you can't see those dumb ass paw prints on the clues (the kids look for paw prints on clues). My three year old knows where they are before they are even there, you schmuck. Oh and on that same topic, what kind of grown man talks to a Blue dog and plays mind games with it? You stupd Fu**er. The only job you are really qualified for is to say 'do you want fries with that?' And even then that is pushing it."

To get really specific I would refer to certain episodes. Go medivial on his ass. Oh also about this time I would have to move to a new section in the stadium to aviod the geriatric security.

"Hey jerk off, while you are discussing the important issues like going to the sh**ter with your dog, the proper way to flush, and dinner table manners, while singng stupid songs about it no less, do you ever think how pathetic your life is? What kind of drugs are you on that makes you think you can 'ski-doo' into a picture? (Blue Ski-doo is when Joe jumps into a picture) The Beatles wrote brilliant songs while they were stoned but you? What do you do? You 'ski-doo' into pictures with stick people and a blue dog. YOU SUCK!! Dude, you really need some new drugs. Stupid a**."

"Oh and do you actually think that ANYONE sends you a letter(Joe reads letters from his friends every show), let alone calling themsleves your FRIEND? I think not. Hey Joe you schmuck, (singing that annoying rhyme) I don't just got a letter for you, I have eight!
F - U - C - K - Y - O - U. And you know exactly who it's from." I would lob the bird at him also, just for effect.

Then I would turn my aim at the dog and his cast of "Friends"...of course moving first...

"Hey, you. Idiot in the dog suit. Yeah, you, I know you can hear me, dogs are supposed to have really good hearing. Can you hear this? (yelling) 'Screw off!' All of you in any type of costume! Do you think your parents are proud of you? Do you think they call all their friends and tell them that you are in Edmonton touring with the world wide hit Blues Clues Live. HELL NO! They lie and tell everyone that you are touring with a REAL production like, The Wiggles. When their friends ask to see pics they play thier own version of Blues Clues and change the subject. "

"Hey guy in the unnaturally tight cat suit. Your mom called, she said you suck! Stupid A-hole. There are kids here and we are supposed to see you in that suit and be able see all that you have got? Here is a buck go do Bob Barker, and all of us, a favor and get your self spayed or neutered."

I figure that about this time I am in hand cuffs and being led out of an arena that is full of kids AND bad actors on stage crying. I would leave them with one more bit of advise...Singing to the tune of the Blues Clues theme song..

"We put all this together and we find that all of you have noooo Cluuuuue, no Cluueeeee. If you use your mind, (if you have one) and take a step at a time(away from the idiots in costume), you can do any-thing, that you want to do. Like not spend your parents money on crap like this."

Back to yelling...

"Hey kids I got something for you to put in your note book (kids write the clues in their notebook), don't grow up to be a loser like all those idiots on the stage. Read a book, turn off the TV, and then get a life."

And then at this point I would be leaving the arena and I would see an ad for "Dora the Explorer Live Pirate Adventure" and I would get an idea.

So there it is. I really legitimately had a good time with McKenna at this show so I really would not do any of this stuff for that reason. Or would I?

Have a nice day, and GET BACK TO WORK!!!!!

One Check Away From Welfare...

I won't be able to write today, or maybe next week because I am quite busy right now preparing for a charity golf tournament that I help run. It is called the OCAFW, or One Check Away From Welfare golf tournament. It is in it's 4th year and we raise food and money for the Edmonton Food Bank.

Sorry about not getting this done, but, I just am too busy right now. If you want to see what it is all about go to the official web site. Have a nice day and GET BACK TO WORK.