Here it is. Video and a podcast...

Citizenship on Vimeo



I crossed the border to Canada on November 1, 1999. I really wasn't sure what I was getting into, especially when I stopped for dinner in Estevan. The waitress offered me gravy with my fries so I gave it a go. Not impressed with the gravy. Really not a great start to my Canadain adventure. Oh well, it is just gravy. I can change Canada into a 'ranch with your fries' loving country, maybe.

Man I had no idea what I was getting into. I am a guy who is into the little things. Don't get me wrong, I love my 50 inch Samsung, but as far as the things I miss not being in the USA it is things that you may find insignificant. For instance, at KFC here in Canada they do not serve those amazing mashed potatoes or the melt in your mouth corn bread. The first time I went to KFC and asked for corn bread the guy looked at me like I was on crack. I almost cried. Now I know you may say, 'Come on Chris, that is just KFC. Get over it.' I am sorry but I can't. When I was in San Jose for the NHL playoffs this year Blashill and me went to KFC and I had corn bread. Again I almost cried. This time for a good reason.

Television in Canada is still another thing that I have some issues with. When Donna told me to call Shaw and order cable shortly after we moved in. I love ordering TV. I called Shaw and spoke with a rep. I told her I want whatever package that gets me ESPN and HBO. She told me that a person cannot order HBO or ESPN in Canada, but she could give me Showcase and TSN. I told her that I did not want them I wanted HBO and ESPN, I do not stutter. She again informed me that it is not available. How do I get them then? You can't. At that point, I almost cried. I called Donna and told her to stop unpacking boxes, we are going back. I just could not fathom how to live with out ESPN highlights in the morning.

The other things that I miss are Dakota Kid seeds, Peanut Butter Cap'n Crunch, Leinenkeugals Beer, Schlotzky's, All of Wisconsin, Mountain Dew with Caffiene, infomercials on the weekends, TNT, College Football, Arena football, and a few other things I can't think of right now.

Don't get me wrong, I am not miserable up here. I like Canada. I have experienced a lot of living up here that I may not have been able to do living in the states. We had both our children here in Canada and that gave Donna the first year to stay home with them. That ain't happening in the States. Health care is great. Living in the States I never went to the doctor because it was way too expensive. Here I went and the doc found a thyroid problem that he said if I had not caught would have done me in. Oh and I did not have to pay for the visit. Unless you consider the taxes I pay a way of paying. Then yes I paid for it but I am okay with that.


Trev, Mike, Me, Kirk, Phil, Jordi, Wes, Adrian

I have met some of the best people here in Canada. Some lifelong friends. Some of which were at the ceremony last Friday. Kirk Heuser drove all the way from Calgary to be there. That was awesome. Kirk signed as a witness on my ballot in the election that George stole from Gore. He is quite proud of that. I worked with Kirk at the now defunkt A-Channell. I get quite proud when I say that. That is another thing about being in Canada. I experienced 8 months of the best and the worst during the A-Channell strike. During that time I experienced the some of the best and worst behaviour in people. I also learned alot about myself and where I stand in life. I wouldn't change any of that. Plus we kicked the crap out of that station. Really proud of that. Adrian, Wes, Phil, Mike, and Jordi all were there for that. I feel a special bond with everyone that I spent time with on the picket line.


Trev taking a pic

Trev I also worked with at the A. He helped me through one of the toughest days I have ever spent at work. The day after September 11th, as the ND was coming up with all these stupid ways to 'tie in' the tragedy to Edmonton, Trev and I were sent on a roadie to some small town about a story that did not even matter. We listened to Packer songs on the CD player, and just tried to forget what happened the day before. I will never forget that day and what he did. Trev is a great 'uncle' to my McKenna and a great friend. The boys from Regina on the BallHawgs are okay, when they are not tearing down my house. James Williams provided the Gretzky Jersey that I wore at the ceremony. He needs to get over the 5-2 thing, I have. Blair and Carey are great friends that are always there when we need them.

I have a great job here in Canada as a sports photographer for a national network. Not sure if I could have landed that in the States. I work for a great company out of Calgary that really cares for it's employees and just doesn't give lip service to that. Through that job I have seen a Stanley Cup Final, the World Baseball Classic, an NBA MVP announcement, a Brier, and cover pro teams on a daily basis.



I have also made a great friend in Mr. Blashill who works for Sportsnet. He has taught me a lot, kept me calm in crisis situations, and is a major pain in my ass on daily. Which I need. AND he came out on his day off and shot my ceremony. I know what it is like to shoot on your day off and I know a guy usually does not like doing it. So thanks Cory for doing me a solid. Plus your editing is okay for a Canadian, wait, oh never mind.


Thumbs up for Canada

In summary, my stay here in Canada has been great. During the Stanley Cup playoffs when the anthem guy pointed his mic toward the roof of Rexall and every person in the place belted out the Star Spangled Banner and then tore up Oh Canada it gave me a great sense of pride. The fact that all these Canadians would sing 'my song' like that made me very proud. I would have never gone near the citizenship thing had I not felt I owed it to the country for allowing me to be around all these great people. Including my wife. I also did it for her because I wanted to show her I am committed to being here in Canada with her as long as we need to be. I know I have said in the past that the main reason why I got the citizenship was to vote Harper out of power, but in reality it is my simple way to pay respect to the country and it's great people. Now when I say 'my song' it means I have two. Thank you Canada.

I am now a citizen of Canada, and the USA...

Photo courtesy of Adrian Pearce

Just so you know, on Friday I took the Oath of Citizenship here in Edmonton. Surrounded by my family and friends at Canada Place downtown I raised my right hand and took the plunge. I now can vote, give blood, and tell any Canadian that tells me "Yankee go home!" to get bent because I am home. I do not have all the pics of the event right now so I will keep this one short. I will go longer when I have all the materials. Cory Blashill, of the Sportsnet Blashill's, shot the event for us to share here on TundraTalk. He even mic'd me up. I got Mic'd Up, just like those guys on Monday Night Football. We will even have a podcast for you where Cory interviews me on my citizenship. That should be a winner!

Anyway, just be patient and I will soon have plenty for you to digest.


McKenna Sings

Above is a shot of McKenna singing O' Canada at the end of the swearing in.

NEXT: Wes Rosa, of the Edmonton Rosa's, wants to know if there is anyone out there who wants to buy a slightly used Toyota 4-Runner. It might need a litte bit of work. Take note of Duct tape on the tailgate. CLICK HERE to see the story in the Edmonton Sun. Great story with a kinda good ending. Wes is okay and ready to stop being the news and go back to shooting it. Good luck Wes.

The time has come...

Okay, I have a few things today. First I was watching the TeeVee the other night and Staples is running a Back To School Sale Ad. Now I am not opposed to back to school ads in general, I am just a bit shocked with the timing. If I am correct the kids just got out of school for summer about a month ago. They don't go back to school until September. It is now August. Staples had been airing these ads for about two weeks.

If I were a kid I would be pissed right off. I mean really, you just got out of freaking school and now some a-hole on Madison avenue thinks it is time for you to go back. It is like a competition for these guys. Who can get the first ad out. Just like Christmas ads. Get them out now before Thanksgiving. Hell, why not start now for Christmas. I would love to see some of those Canadian Tire Christmas ads right about now. Maybe it would take some of the heat off these 36 degree days, or 100 degree days for you Americans. Really, do they need to screw with us? I guess so. If I was a kid, and sometimes Donna thinks I am, I would start a boycott. I would make up some good signs and head down to Staples and make some noise. My sign would read "Staples hates kids freedom". Nah, too filled with republican stupidity. How about "Staple this!" with two arrows pointing down to my lower region. "Back to school? How about back to calendar reading 101?"

Anyway, I think it sucks, even though the ads are kinda funny.

NEXT: I got a letter yesterday from Immigrations Canada asking me to report to Canada Place on August 25th to become a Canadian Citizen. That's right, it is just around the corner. I am going to be able to vote. Woooo Hoooo. Vote that idiot Harper out of office. Any guy who shakes his kids hand when he drops them off to school is just not right.


cyborg Harper

Anyway, to my friends in the States, this does not mean that I am giving up my American status, just adding Canadian. So please do not give me too much grief over this because I take plenty of crap from the Canadians for being American, I do not need to take crap from my American friends. Nick, I think you know I am talking to you.

It is going to be a good day because Mom and Dad will be here and I hope many of my Canadian friends will take the time to attend the ceremony. I am thinking about wearing my Gretzky jersey or maybe just go in a suit. Not sure, but I have plenty of time to decide.

That is all I have today so have a good day and GET BACK TO WORK!!!!!!

I hate Chuck, kinda...

The object of my ire at times and todays blog subject, Chuck Klosterman


Okay, we got a few responses to last weeks blog. Some good and one really confusing one. Oh well, here is what James the self proclaimed "Gay Trucker" had to say about the application for Canadian citizenship.

"Bwahahahahahahaha! Awesome, Coach! Loved the part with quotes from Donna (I agree with her by the way).

ps. Welcome to the civilized world - congrats on your citizenship in the country that is home to Wayne Gretzky - the greatest human ever. The guy who created Quizno's is a close 2nd. You'll probably get denied, but I like that you tried. It's good to improve on oneself, and removing yourself from the whiny, selfish, ego-centrical society that the USA is... 'nuff said. "

James"

Uh, okay James, I am not sure if you are referring to Don Cherry as the Quiznos guy, but okay. I hope I don't get denied, it costs $200.

And this response came from a person who did not feel it important to leave their name...

"TRAITOR, only a Packer fan would go canadian (note small caps on the "c"). canada isn't even a real country and if you want free healthcare then become a citizen of Mexico and sneak across the border to the good old USA. Thats how you get free healthcare here. If canada is so great then why do I have a bunch of canadians working around me, scooping up the California gold and back talking Old Glory..drunk mother f**kers!!! Canook Go Home!! "

This person called themselves the American Bad Ass. Dude, you have issues. I would suggest the first step would be to stop drinking Nyquil before noon and seek professional help.

Now, on to the subject at hand. I just finished reading this book....



I will tell you right off the bat, I really liked this book. I honestly did not put it down. It is written by Chuck Klosterman. A good North Dakota boy who when I lived there wrote for the Fargo Forum. He know is senior writer at Spin Magazine and writes for the NY Times among other things. The story is about a cross country trip to visit the 'landmarks' where rock stars meet their demise. For instance the first place he goes is in NY where Sid Vicious killed Nancey Spurgeon and then OD. Sounds kinda morbid but it really is very entertaining. Chuck intertwines stories about the women he loves, most of whom do not really love him, and how he deals with it. He at one point compares all the women he has loved in his life to all the different members of KISS. That includes all the players during the non-makeup days. It really is kinda deep on one level and really weird on another. Chuck also wrote, Fargo Rock City, and Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs. Both also very entertaining.

Nick Chase is actually quoted in this book, and once in his previous book. About the only think I really dislike about this book is the drug use. Although I find it somewhat facinating, I just don't believe that a good ND boy should be doing the drugs he talks about. Nick compares it to the 'blading' in pro wrestling. That is the process of cutting your forehead so you bleed like a pig and we all think it is a devastating match. We all know that it is a drama and a soap opera so none of the wrestlers need to bleed during a match to prove anything to us. He does not need to tell us about his drug use, the story is still just as good and we don't think of him as any cooler because of it.

Now this Blog is not just a review of this book. I have met Chuck once or twice, but I feel like I know him. Actually to explain my 'relationship' with Chuck there are varying degrees of my Chuck Meter. How can I actually say I have a relationship with him when I only met him once? I don't really know but I do. Let me explain the Chuck Meter.

When I was in college and shortly thereafter, I would read his columns in the Forum. It was mostly in the Forums weak attempt at reaching the younger generation, called RAGE. It sucked. But I read it every week. I think that Chuck wrote pretty much every article in the thing. I will tell you at this point I hated every word this guy ever wrote. I thought his opinions were garbage, stuff like when reviewing the new Poison or Crue album he would go on and on about how great the record was. But the bands that I thought mattered like REM he had no time for. I hated Chuck. I still have copies of this paper just to prove how bad it was. Really.



The Chuck Meter was at this time in my life RED. I hated everything about this guy. Mostly because I thought I could do better, I just didn't. I started a music magazine in Bismarck with my friend Mike Pierce. He also hated Chuck. Donna and Robby DuPuis also wrote in this paper. The paper was called Tangerine Press. I can't really remember why we called it that but we did. We put out about five issues. Each issue we put out more copies, and near the end we even had sold ads. It was kinda cool. I made a point to write completely different and about the things that Chuck did not. We were the Anti Chuck if you will. We never trashed him, but it was obvious we did not like the same things he did. Something happened and we stopped. We did get some hate mail from a magazine in Fargo called Yhatzeen. We liked that. Chuck mentions in his new book that he was also hated by that magazine. They apparently wrote about how much they hated him though. We took the high road.



Fast forward to about 1997, I attended a WCW event in Fargo North Dakota with Nick Chase. The event was Thunder. It was cool, I drove all the way from Green Bay to attend on the hope that I may get to see the Nature Boy Ric Flair. Denied. But I did meet Chuck. Nick introduced him to me. I said hi and all the hate came back. I secretly hoped he was still working in Fargo and rotting away. I thought I had a victory there.

Well I move to Canada and Nick tells me that Chuck is working in Ohio. I think good for him, and change the subject. Unitl I one day I am parusing the aisles in the local Chapters and I see it. Fargo Rock City, written by Chuck Klosterman. Here comes the Chuck meter.



I bought the book. I read it and did not put it down. What is wrong with me. I hate this guy. I find out that this guy and I have some things in common. He used to tape MTV, so did I. I used to have about 30 tapes of MTV in my library. I have since taped over them. He also liked a lot of the same music for the same reasons I did. I was sick. The hatred also turned to envy. I was jealous. I have always wanted to write a book, and here he is the guy I hated and tried to be unlike, he has not only a book but a best seller. I hate him more now, but I also hate myself a bit for liking the book and wishing I could have written a book. I just was too busy or lazy. In the front of the book he gives his phone number to call him if you want to tell him what you think. I did. I also decide since he has a love for Poison if I ever meet him again or get his address I would send him my promo copy of 'Nothing but a good time'. It is a promo 12" vinyl copy that was sent out before they released the album, and it has no name on the record. Just a big ? in the middle of the record. I think Chuck would appreciate that. Chuck meter at Green and Red.



A few years later, he puts out his second book, and I find this one the same way I found the last one.



Parusing the Chapters in Calgary. This time I am in the store with some people I was currently on strike with and when they ask me what I bought with my per diem money, I am forced to explain that I kinda know him and that I hate him. They ask me why I bought the book then. I have no answer. Oh, and to add insult to injury one of the guys I was there with had read Fargo Rock City and loved it. I hate Chuck. One of the other guys wants to borrow it from me. I loan it to him and two years later I still have not gotten it back, and it bothers me. Chuck meter at Green and Red. But more green than red.



Fast forward to now. I, this winter, while at Chapters, looked up in the computer about Chuck to see when his next book is coming out. I found out it is coming in spring and briefly forget it. Later Nick reminds me and reads the passage that he is quoted in. It is a funny story and I go out and get it. I sit down and read it in a span of about 30 hours off and on while working and taking care of McKenna. I read most of the book and then I took the time to read the 'testimonials' on the back of the jacket. This pissed me off. My Chuck meter just about went back into the red. Douglas Coupland and Bret Easton Ellis both have testimonials on it. Two authors I highly respect. I own every Coupland book and still to this day consider Generation X the best book I have ever read. That book changed me. To see him praising Chuck really bothered me at first. Then I just thought about it and realized I need to let it go. Chuck is a talented writer. Did I just write that?

I really like the book and wish I had had the idea of the cross country trip. I would love to just get in the car and drive. Then sit down and write about it. To this day I am kicking myself for not writing everyday during the strike. There were a lot of stories that I have forgotten or just did not get recorded that today if I sat down and tried to write them down it would be impossible. Not for a book, but more for myself and the people that I was embroiled in that drama with.

So where does that leave me on the Chuck meter? Well, I guess now a days I am at Chuck Meter Yellow. I like his stuff, and I have recently asked Nick for his email so I can contact him and tell him how much I like his books and how I do not hate him as much any more. I am sure he has no clue, or even cares. Either way I will be anxiously awaiting his next book. Not sure where the Chuck Meter will be after that one but I will let you all know.



Now have a great day and GET BACK TO WORK!!!!

Big deal in the mail...

Here I am mailing an important document.

Welcome to Just a Little Love on a Friday. Thank you for continuing to read this tripe. I am of course, not working today. Don't start on me, I am working tomorrow.

Lets start this week with Donna's response to last week, I will print it here just in case you did not see it at the bottom of the post last week...

"To defend myself, I don't say you "never" work I say that you don't work much. When you do work it is rarely a full 8 hour day that most normal people work.

Your blog is proof enough that you don't work. I don't usually accuse you of being a couch potato-I just wish I had as much time as you to do whatever I want. But you are a man so you aren't expected to clean. Or should I say, you aren't expected by society. I expect that you do.

In all fairness, Chris, it is people like you who teach people like me to learn to relax. Thanks for being such a good role model at relaxing and enjoying life.

Donna"

I am glad I can be a role model to someone else. Being a role model to the National Food Eaters Fan Club was getting to be a chore. Donna really needs to relax a bit more, then she wont be so uptight. Maybe a blog could help her relax.

Also I need to take care of the birthday list....
I missed July so here they are...


Jeff Stahl had his birthday was July 11th and he lives in Tahoe. Call him or email him and wish him well or call him and hate him for living in a warmer climate than you.
Brenda Iverson birthday was July 7th, she is the lovely wife of Steve who is a regular on this blog.


The Nordic Woman's Lisa Lucht birthday was 7/26 and we all wish her well on her special day because she has to put up with the Nordic one every other day of the year.

And here they are for August...

Scott Dahl birthday was August 12th, he is the official content proofreader and critic for this blog. He also fancys himself as a hockey player. I am sure he can skate backwards, I can't. Call him or email him and wish him well or congratulate him on his ability to skate backwards.



Nordicman's was yesterday 8/18, and we all wish the Nordic One the happiest of happy birthdays. I personally want to wish him a warm bratwurst and a cold beer on his happy day. If you would like to send your best wishes his way email him and tell him that Lederhosen is cool for fall. Thanks again man for taking me to the game. That is one I will remember for a long time. Vikes Suck.

Mike Chaussee birthday is August 31, Mike is a dingleschputz and lives in Bismarck North Dakota. Call him or email him and wish him a happy birthday or good luck with winter.

Now that the business is out of the way...

So I have had some time to do cleaning (which I did yesterday), I took care of McKenna yesterday, and I have had time to do some more immigrations paperwork. Yup, in case you are wondering what kind of paperwork they need, it was time for me to fill out the Canadian Citizenship forms. Now before you get your gitch in a bunch, it is just a logical step in the process. I live here I might as well be able to vote against the idiots in power, or for the idiots in power, and with membership comes the perks.


Here they are...

I know that this might be a shock to some of you in the states who have always known me as Mr. USA and that one of my favorite quotes of myself, if one can quote themselves, is "USA Number one!!". I will always wear my USA hockey jersey during the Olympics. Which I have been ridiculed for by my friends and just the passer by. I can't even tell you how many times I have heard, "Yankee go home" from some friendly Albertan. And those are the people I know. I fly Old Glory in front of the house on every July 4th, Sept 11th, Flag Day, Memorial Day, and election day. I also fly my Packer Flag on every game day.


Go Pack Go!

Now you may say, "Why Chris would you want to be a member of that country that you have ridiculed so much in the past?" Yes I have made my share of Canada Jokes. I know one of my favorite was "Why doesn't the US just go up and take over Canada? Because it is just NOT worth it." Good one, I giggle at that one everytime I hear myself say it. Well let me answer that simply, I live here. And truthfully, it is not that bad. Summer only lasts about three weeks and we are a million miles from anywhere, but there really isn't anything wrong with it here. I have documented in the past that a fan of good television cannon recieve HBO, ESPN, and Comedy Central. And a fan of good eats cannot get Peanut Butter Cap'n Crunch, Dakota Kid Sunflower Seeds, Funyuns, and the KFC does not have mashed potatos or corn bread. MMMMMM corn bread. Oh yeah and Mountain Dew has little or no caffiene in it. Aside from that, which when I look at it on paper, is a lot, it is good livin. One thing up here is going to the doctor does not cost an arm and a leg, it actually is nothing. No deductibles, no HMOs no grief. If you have to get a new hip it takes a while but my hips are okay as of right now. I like the medical system up here. Donna got a whole year off work when McKenna was born. That has done a lot in her development.

I have the best job ever, and it pays me well. We have a nice house in a good crime free neighborhood. Knock on my wood, or prefabricated fake wood.

The cultural diversity is amazing. Lots of people from everywhere living here. The city is somewhat progressive. Lots of good sports and music. I gots Pearl Jam tickets for next month, I have never lived anywhere before that Pearl Jam played. The people have been good to me, well except the a-hole managers at 'a' channel. Karma will get them. I guess the most important thing about being here is Donna. She likes it here and I don't see me really lasting long if I decided to go solo, I need someone to keep me in line, so here I am.

Don't get me wrong this is not an easy step for me, I had a lot of soul searching moments while I was filling out the paperwork. I just think at this moment it is a good idea for me to be a dual citizen so I can live on either side of the border. McKenna is a dual citizen so if a three year old can do it so can I. I filled out the paper, payed the fine ($200), took the picture, and sent it in. This will not change me, I will still be the a-hole American. Not quite as big as the one in the White House, but still and a-hole.


Nice picture.

I have covered these citizenship ceremonies in the past and there is one thing that I plan on doing when the time comes. There is a part in the ceremony where you raise your hand and repeat. In the repeat part of the program there is a segment where you say something about "allegiance to the Queen". Ah hell no. I will mumble during that part of the speech. I have a problem with allegiance to a Queen, King, or anybody other than Ric Flair and of course my wife. Whooooooooo!!

So there you have it. It has been a long time coming and I hope some of you do not lose any sleep over this. I am not any different if I have more than one passport. I will still use the USA one and my USA hockey sweater will not get put away, in fact I may wear it more often now. Nick get over this now, because I will fight any extradition that you try.


USA NUMBER ONE

Thank you all and GET BACK TO WORK!!!!