Gemini fever, and THE best story EVER...

Okay, before we get to THE story, I will give you some background. I spen the last four days working for the CBC broadcast of the Gemini's. Basically the Canadian version of the Emmy's. Good gig, good money, hard work, and the chance to see celebrities. Can't go wrong with that.

The first three days were spent running cables, setting up monitors, putting cameras together, rehearsal, and pretending I knew what I was doing. I am good at that. AS you can see from the pictures there were a lot of cables to run. Lucky for us we had good weather. The set for the show was outstanding. Looked great in HD. I helped put down some track for a dolly camera. That was cool. Never did that before. Kinda slick operation. Again the CBC sent out their big guns from TO to run the cameras. I was positioned with camera 7. Which was a hand held camera located stage left right in front of the stage. Great spot to see the show, that is if I were not working. Basically my responsiblity was to make sure that camera 7's cables did not get tangled or up on anyones lap.

So from my position the celebs that were within spitting distance were, Tom Jackson(Actor), Georges St. Pierre(Ultimate Fighter), Matt Domingez(Sask Roughrider), Howie Mandel, Rick Mercer(political humourist), Brent Butt(Corner Gas), Paul Gross(actor, Due South),Mark McKinney(Kids in the Hall), AND Corey Haim. Nice. Cory Haim of course is famous for making really BAD movies. I still remember the first time I saw Licence to Drive. Changed my life. Okay, Lost Boys was good. Lucas wasn't bad. But Meatballs Three was horrible. Or was it MB4? It does not matter. He was a pretty nice guy. Almost too nice. He seemed to be really hyper, or just really happy. Maybe medically happy? Who knows. Oh, and very tanned.

Okay, as you can see, I take bad pictures. Especially when I probably was not supposed to be taking pictures. So they are a little blurry. The things I do for you TundraTalk Nation. That is Cory Haim in the pic above. Really it is. Oh and it really is Howie Mandel in the green shirt and hat. Really.









This is Paul Gross. Really...






















This is Brent Butt. Really...



























Oh and this is George Sromboloupolous. Really...










HERE IT IS, THE STORY TO END ALL STORIES - This one may be better than the Curt Henning story. Really. So it is gameday, Sunday, and we are rehearsing a few of the presentations. Trish Stratus is there to present with Howie Mandel. She is sitting in the front row talking to the writers. I am in my position kneeling on the floor (so as to not be seen by the other cameras), feeding cable to the camera. All of a sudden Trish gets up from her seat and walks over right next to me and leans against the stage. We are rehearsing and the director said for everyone to sit down. I thought this was odd that she got up and wanted to stand right next to the stage front and centre. She looked over to me and said "Is it okay if I stand here?" Of course what am I to say, "Hell no!! Go sit your ass down." Uh, no. I said "You can stand wherever you want." In the back of my mind I am thinking "why the hell does she want to stand here?"

I go back to my job and I notice that she is looking at me weird. Kinda like she is trying not to be noticed. THEN, I smell a real nasty fart hanging in the air. I know it is not mine, cause, of course a guy knows these things. The camera guy that I was working with is too far away. Then it hit me like a piledriver from Ric Flair. TRISH STRATUS JUST FARTED!!!!!!! Unfu#king believable.

So I am looking around to see if anyone else notices the sulfur smell coming from Trish's ass. She must have eaten something nasty last night. Nope, on my own no one is anywhere near the dead zone. She then leaves ground zero and goes back to her seat in the front row. I am now appalled. She came over and left me a present. Unfortunately it was a present that I did not want. I knew the guys would not believe me. I needed someone to confirm what I just witnessed, or smelled. Who knows what could happen next. Wait, I do.

Then, I hear her talking to the writer in the front row. She says, get this, "The camera guy over there has really bad gas." and gestures towards me. UNFU#KING BELIEVABLE! She comes over drops ass then goes and blames it on me. UNFU@KING BELIEVABLE. The writer of course, looks at me then says, "Oh, I'm sorry." Yeah sorry I don't come over there and kick your ass poindexter. IT WASN'T ME!!!! Do I have to explain it again? Guys know their own farts. It is kind of like they can keep track of stats and figures from sports. It is kind of like your fingerprint, except you don't use ink, you use your nose. On a side note, if you know what your homeboy's farts smell like, you have been spending too much time with your homeboy.

Here I am minding my own business, and she does that. I guess we should not expect anything less from a professional wrestler, but man. Even I know you don't rip one like that in public. So here I am, the host of TundraTalk, and Sunday rolls around, I did not have a brush with greatness pic to share and I thought the only thing I was going to be able to tell you was that I saw a Lost Boy. No pic with Strombo, no pic with Howie Mandel or Ric Mercer, wrongo. I got more than a brush with greatness, I got a brush with Trish Gaseous.

Oh, and as Donna pointed out so eloquently, she presented the Gemini award for Best Comedy to the show, wait for it, Corner GAS. Ha, ha, ha. Oh and the lead actor is Brent BUTT. It all makes sense now. Kinda.

There was a red carpet and everything. ET Canada was even on hand to ask all those tough questions like, "What are you wearing?" and "Who are you dating?" and "How does it feel to be here?". You know, the kind of shit that is important to all of us. Those are the ET Canada mic monkeys in the front of the pic on the right. Monkey's are funny.

Okay the show goes off great, we tear out all the cable we just got done putting into the building, and I decide to go to this party that SaskFilm is putting on in the sound stage over at the CBC. Not a bad gig. It was the official wrap party for the show. Here is bozo the clown, me, in all my work clothes crashing a ritzy party. Nice. FREE BOOZE. That is all that needs to be said. Matt Wright, of the Regina Wrights, was my wing man, or maybe I was his, no matter. Oh, please welcome Matt into the TT fold with open arms. He is a good guy that I have worked with at the CCMA's and the Gemini's. He is from Sri Lanka, not sure why I know that, but I do. Anyway, I managed to get a brush with Greatness photo with Ultimate Fighter Georges St. Pierre and Matt was VERY jealous, not really but it makes a better story, so I got one with him and GSP also. He also got one with Ron Maclean. Very cool.

So to recap, I did not get the holy grail, the BWG pic with Georg Stromboulopolous but I did get to meet him breifly. He is very cool and the real deal. I did not get Matt's holy grail BWG pic with Cory Haim. However, I did get farted on, and blamed for said fart by Trish Gaseous. Not a bad weekend. Not a good one, but not bad. Oh, wait, I did get my pic with Evangeline Lily, you know the chick from Lost. Nice...

NEXT: Marty Frey, of the Hollyweird Freys, sent me this pic and this note the other day....


Chris,

Can you pick out the kid that has got to be your illegitimate child?

These cute little tykes were told to "make funny faces for the camera".

The little tyke has learned by this early age - something that took his possibly father years to come up with..

Yes - I'm talking about... THE DOUBLE GUNS!
Marty
What do you mean Marty? Where would you get the idea that that kid takes after me? I think you are dreaming. Wake up.







Have a great week!!!!

FIRE!!! California drops off into ocean!!!

Marty Fire Two from hamiltongbp on Vimeo.

Above you will see some video. That video was shot by none other than Marty Frey, of the Hollywierd Freys. He, of course, lives in canyon country California. He is another of those transplants who work in the city but live outside the city. NOW WAIT A SECOND AL GORE!!! He is not one of those a holes who contribute to the smog in the city, he rides the LRT in to work every day. Get off your soap box.

Anyway the video in question was shot from his back yard. Nice Marty, the world is burning and all you do is sit back and sip a ice cold Tie Dye. What, you couldn't run over and open up a tap on a hose and put that bad boy out? I spoke to him yesterday and he said that the Santa Ana winds were blowing away from his house so he just waited it out. That is one of the things that I always liked about Marty, calm under fire. This time it was literally FIRE. Nice. He told me that he just sat there and watched the houses blow up. Quite a show.

I personally think that this whole fire thing is a conspriacy theory. After all they just shot all that footage on a lot in Hollywood. Just like the moon landing, all this fire is just one big movie sponsored by the government.

No, really, Marty is right in the middle of the shit. He gave me some LINKS to CLICK , to see fire INFO. Just click on the links and see for yourself what the hell is going on.

Marty sent me four clips, only two I could read so here is the second of the clips from his back yard. I have been to his back yard, I have played drunken poker in his back yard, that my friends is a great back yard. Poker on a Green Bay Packers green and gold poker table. Nice.


Marty Fire One from hamiltongbp on Vimeo.

Have a great day, and I hope your house does not burn Marty, or anyone else for that matter.

I am working the rest of the week on the Gemini awards show here in Regina, so I may have a few brush with greatness photos to share. The Gemini awards is Canadas version of the Emmys. Nice. We will see who and what shows up for the show. Wish me luck.

TundraTalk the Podcast, Regina Style...

Okay, first off this time I have a great photo of Cory Blashill, of the Edmonton Blashill'S, managed to get a brush with greatness pic with the guys from the show Road Hockey Rumble. That is huge. In case you do not know this show, find out. What these guys do is cruise accross Canada in a motor home and stop at different cities and choose teams and play road hockey. Usually there is a theme for the teams and the winner of the most games wins the RHR trophy. The loser gets punished. Great show. Here is a little bit to show you how great the show is. If you want season one, I have it on DVD I can cut you a copy if you offer a trade of Funyuns or PB Cap'n Crunch. Anyway, funniest show ever. They actually had me and Cory shooting stuff out of our nose funny last season.





NEXT I had the opportunity this weekend to do a podcast. That's right I finally got a show done. Jon Ryan, the punter for the Packers, who is from Regina, was in town selling sattelite systems at Audio Warehouse. I took time out of my day to wander down, get a pic with him, and do a TundraTalk, which does not suck. Just click the link to the right and enjoy. Great conversation, and a great guy. How awesome is that, the Pack are 5-1 and I get to do an interview with a Packers Player. NICE!!!

Have a great week.

Talking to Americans...

Okay, today I have for you a bit of a study. WAIT, don't surf away, just listen for a minute. This study is aimed at my peeps down south of the border, yup, America. There was this show that aired a few years ago on the CBC. Rick Mercer has always included in his show a segment where he talked to Americans. Thus the title "Talking to Americans". Basically it is Canadians making fun of Americans on how little they know about Canada. My answer to that is basically who needs to know about Canada? Really.

After living here now for 8 years, wow, 8 years. That is a long time. Anyway, I think that a person should know a bit about the Great White North just to round out their education, oh and also in case you get interviewed by Rick Mercer.

Now you may be saying that "There is NO way I would ever be interviewed by that dude. What are the chances?". Well, pretty good since I know two of the people he talked to in the show. Really. One is a lady (Susan Reilley) who was the assignment editor for WOI when I worked there, and the other is Don Schmith's, of the Des Moines Schmiths, brother (I think, I have yet to confirm it). So you really need to know it COULD happen.

Back when this show first aired I tried to do this study by sending the DVD around to you to report on then send it on to the next person. Well that did not work well because the second person on the list did not forward it. It kinda got stopped before it even got started. This was of course before YouTube and all the technology that allows me to put it up on the internet (did you know that it is for more than just porn?) so you all can see it.

So now you are saying what is the catch? Well I just want you, the American, to take some time (45 minutes) and watch the show and tell me what you think. I might have the chance to meet Rick one day and I would love to show him what people south of the border think of this show.

Send me a note and let me know what you think, or if you think the things that they are making fun of are important for you to know. Did it stir up that American pride that says no one makes fun of an American, with oput some payback? Let me know if you understood any of the jokes. Let me know how stupid you think that some of the people are. My thought is that most people could not point out anything past their own state let alone something from Canada. This is serious, I want to have quite a few things to share.

For those of you who want to cheat, I prepared a cheat sheet for you to read as you watch. Just print out this page and follow along with the jokes. If you get through the show and don’t need this sheet, good for you. If you don’t, don’t worry about it because you really don’t need to know any of this information. Really. Good luck and ‘Take off Eh!”

Make sure you let me know what you think. Oh and you Canadians can let me know what you think also. As if you need an invitation to let me know what you think. Just do it.



Talking to Americans from hamiltongbp on Vimeo.

Talking To Americans
A Study of an Inferiority Complex

Here it is the cheat sheet for you the un Canadian. This should explain all those times during the show where you go “huh?”. For the times where the laugh track is going and you aren’t. And just to let you know who the hell Paul Martin is. All of these explanations are in the order that the questionable word appears in the show.

1. Mulrooney - Brian Mulrooney is a former Canadian Prime Minister who was very unpopular for his apparent ass kissing to Reagan. He is not Eskimo.

2. Bouchard - Former Quebec Premier (like a governor).

3. Gil Duceppe - French politician.

4. Saskatchewan - Province in Canada just above Montana and North Dakota.

5. Paul Martin - former Finance Minister of Canada. Politician.

6. Tet Dumaird - French for ‘Head of Shit’.

7. Locien Bouchard - Former Quebec Premier. Not a King.

8. Bannock Bread - Naitive bread. Very heavy bread.

9. Caribu Eggs - No such thing. Caribu is like a reindeer. They do not lay eggs.

10. Ferme Le Bouche - French for ‘Close your mouth’.

11. Menegez - French for ‘to eat’.

12. Poutine - French dish that is fries with cheese and gravy.

13. West Edmonton Mall - Largest mall in the world located in Edmonton Alberta. Huge tourist attraction similar to the Mall of America. Owned by the same persons.

14. Beaver Balls - Not a real food. Only exist on male beavers.

15. Saskatchewan - Canada province that is landlocked. No ocean, no cod, no seals.

16. Toronto - Located in Ontario. No polar bears.

17. Tim Horton’s - A chain of coffee and donut shops here in Canada. Tim Horton was a former hockey player for the Maple Leafs.

18. Jean Chretien - former Prime Minister of Canada. He is French, white. Not black or Asian.

19. Peter Mansbridge - Chief anchor for the CBC. Not a bridge.

20. Canada’s Navy - Has access to ocean. Has ships.

21. Gordon Lightfoot - A singer from Canada that is not a chief. No rhino’s in Saskatchewan, let alone a hunt.

22. Woodie - There is no $5 coin in Canada.

23. Jean Chretien - former Prime Minister of Canada.

24. Provinces - Canada has Provinces not states.

25. Guy LaFleur - Hockey player for the Montreal Canadiens.

26. Labrador Wolly Elephant - Labrador is a part of the Mairtime Provinces and there are no elephants, let alone wolly ones.

27. Vancouver Caribu - Vancouver is in British Columbia and there are no Caribu in Vancouver, except in the zoo.

28. Timbits - Tim Horton’s sells donut holes and calls them ‘Timbits’.

29. Hullaballoo - Hull is a town in Ontario and the word ‘Hullaballoo’ is not slang.

30. Blinky Mulrooney - Brian Mulroony, former Prime Minister of Canada. Just another chance to call him a brown noser.

31. Toronto Canada - Ottowa is the capital of Canada.

32. Jean Poutine - Poutine is a food and Chretien was the Prime Minister.

33. Joe Clark’s Hole - Joe Clark is a politician in Canada who is still working in Ottowa. Not a national park.

Packers 23 - viqueens 16

How was your weekend? Mine was great. We went to the Rider game on Saturday and that was great. The Riders beat the Als. Great day for football. Nice warm fall day at the park. Wait, what else happened this weekend? Hmmmmmmm, oh yeah. THE PACKERS BEAT THE vIQUEENS. Nice. As you notice, I NEVER capitalize the name of the viqueens. That is not a typo it is intentional. I do not believe that they deserve it. Win a trophy then, maybe. I also noticed that some of the queen fans who wrote me do the same thing. It is catching on. I also noticed that Shane T Keller of the LA Kellers also did not capitalize the Packers a few times. Now that is disrespect and I expect him to apologize.

I don't know if you noticed but I think the queens lost all of their karma and skill the minute they started playing indoors. Play outside like men. I mean really, what is better in December a southernteam coming in to your park to play outside or play in the baggie dome? Home field advantage. Oh, but then if they played outside they would not be able to pump all that extra noise onto the bench. One good thing if they played outside would be that big ugly, and I am sure he smells, viking guy would have to put on a jacket. Man that guy is pasty.

Sorry I got off on a rant. The game was awesome. Two more angels got their wings because Favre threw for two more TD's. Broke the record so we have that out of the way and we don't have to have that distraction. We are now 4-0 going into the game next Sunday night against the Bears. Man is that going to be great. I did get a bit nervous in the fourth when that rookie coughed up the ball giving the men in purple one more shot at the end zone. Carl Bush was making Sidney Rice look like Jerry Rice. That guy needs to get better or he is going to be seeing that all year long. John Ryan, who is from right here in Regina, was awesome at getting that fake punt off the ground. Nice. He juked half the defense out of the baggie dome. It was nice to get the win and I am happy that Number 4 got his record. One more thing, it was cool to hear as I watched the game the crowd start chanting "Go Pack Go" througout the game. That was sweet. More Packers fans than queenfans in the house. Gotta love that. Maybe all the queen fans were out duck hunting, like Scott Dahl was.

We will get to Scott and Gene later but right now I would like to share a email from Marty Frey, of the Hollyweird Fry's. He sent an article from the Minneapple fish wrap. Marty of course is a die hard, born and raised, Packer fan. I believe he will be in PHX this year with me and whoever else comes with me.

This article from the Minneapolis Star-Tribune about what a bunch of whiny losers the Viqueens and they faux fans are..

WISHFUL THINKING CAN'T REVERSE THE VIKING MISFORTUNE

An antagonistic crowd chanted GO PACK GO late Sunday afternoon, jeering the Vikings off their home field. Coach Brad Childress was attempting to regain his composure, having hurled his headset and spiked a water cup during a sideline tantrum. Dozens of photographers surrounded the star of the game, who most certainly was not wearing a Vikings uniform.

By the time their 23-16 loss to Green Bay was official, the Vikings had endured historic embarrassment, exploded in multiple tirades -- one of which spilled into the locker room -- and listened as a pro-Packers crowd celebrated it all. Now 1-3 following the easiest part of their schedule, the Vikings can only hope their coming bye week will produce a new direction after an otherwise deflating Sunday.

"We've been having bad luck," running back Chester Taylor said. "All we can do is just come out and keep grinding and keep fighting to the end. We have to stay together as a family."

The Vikings' three losses have come by a total of 13 points, and Sunday they again missed a chance to tie on their final possession. Packers cornerback Atari Bigby ended the threat with 1 minute, 11 seconds remaining by intercepting a Kelly Holcomb pass at Green Bay's 24.

The play incensed Vikings players and coaches, who said the Packers' other cornerback -- Charles Woodson -- committed a penalty that should have nullified the play.

The sequence sent Childress into an uncharacteristic tizzy. "Clearly interference," he said afterward, but it did nothing to soften his reality: With one-fourth of the season complete, the Vikings have displayed no quantifiable improvement from their 2006 performance.

Worse, many of their problems from a year ago have continued.

Their offense still has trouble scoring touchdowns, and passes into the end zone remain scarce. Despite 382 offensive yards Sunday, their highest total since Childress arrived, the Vikings were limited to field goal attempts until Holcomb's 15-yard pass to rookie receiver Sidney Rice with 1:55 remaining. It was the Vikings' only shot into the end zone for the game.

Ryan Longwell accounted for the remainder of the scoring with field goals of 44, 35 and 48 yards. Overall this season, Longwell has six field goals; the Vikings have scored four offensive touchdowns.

They committed seven penalties Sunday -- including five for either false starts, encroachment or delay of game -- and their defense gave up at least 300 passing yards for the sixth time in its past 20 games. Packers quarterback Brett Favre threw for 344 yards and broke Dan Marino's all-time record for touchdown passes with a 16-yard pass to Greg Jennings in the first quarter.

Favre's 33-yard scoring pass to James Jones gave the Packers a 23-9 lead with 5:46 left, setting off a loud celebration from a Green Bay ticket-holding contingent that turned the Metrodome into West Lambeau Field.

"The best thing that we did is we didn't quit," said Holcomb, sounding the refrain most often heard this season. Indeed, the Vikings have had a chance to win or tie on their last drive in all three of their losses. But at what point does bad luck -- Longwell's 52-yard field goal at Detroit hit an upright, for example -- devolve into simple underperformance?

"You hope things will change," running back Chester Taylor said. "You hope that you can make some plays on offense. You hope the defense keeps playing great. You hope you can stay together."

Yes, keeping the team together appeared to be a legitimate task Sunday. The locker room was mostly silent when reporters began interviews, save for a chippy exchange between Holcomb and tight end Visanthe Shiancoe, and most players exited quickly.

The bye week arrived at the right time in at least one respect. Childress will give players most of this week off, giving everyone a cool-down period before returning next week.

It's not enough time to start over. But maybe, linebacker Chad Greenway said, it can generate some hope.

"Football is a funny game. Maybe you can go through the first four games and struggle, and then the last 12 might be all right."

Okay, there were some interference calls in this game. Most were very ticky tack calls. The one on Al Harris at the end was terrible. The one that Mr. Holcomb and Mr. Noodles is complaining about is stupid. You lost, deal with it. You had a guy wide open in the first and your boy could not hit him. Too bad, so sad, quit whining, there is always next year.

As for Mr. Dahl. He now owes me some fine beer. A 24 I might add. Thank you Scott. Here is what he had to say today...

i'm willing to go double or nothing at lambeau. because for that game i'm predicting favre gets sacked 8 times. including a pat williams-induced concussion that would send favre to a late-early retirement. or would that be an early-late retirement? any-hoo, the hits will leave brett brainless which will explain the autobiography he'll write years later titled: "big squeegee love purple vicodin squirt." i'm not making this stuff up.

You are on my friend, you are on. As for your prediction of Favre getting hurt. That is just wrong. Plus you did not capitalize his name properly. Please show some respect to the greatest QB of all times.

Gene Principe also took time out of his incredibly Italian and busy day to try to run smak....

The Packers still suck but for one week the Vikings suck more..but if they had a QB you'd be buying me lunch..and to Brett Favre I'm Italian so in my mind Dan Marino is still the NFL's all time TD passing leader...

How does McDonald's sound?

McDonalds sounds crappy. I was thinking along the lines of Lux or the Keg. MMMMMMMM I can taste it already. Nothing tastes better than a lunch paid for by Gene. Word up.

So for the next time the queens play the Pack, I am taking all bets right now. Lets' get this thing started now. Or are you just fairweather fans. Randy Moss is gone, wait, you still sucked when he was there anyway. Remember wide right? I do.

Oh, and here comes Reg giving us his three cents....

I have to be the only Viking fan laughing my ass off right now. I knew they would lose that is why I was asking for 21 points. If I would have taken your 10 I would have been victorious in my gambling endeavor. You can talk smack all you want but when the cash comes out reality must set in. As far as the Packers monopolizing the audience that is a stretch. My imaginary friend in the front office of the Vikings states that 84.5% of all tickets are owned by season ticket holders. When Vicodin Boy from Hurricane Mississippi broke the record the Viking fans cheered his accomplishments, recognizing a quality player.

Back in the 70’s when Fran held the record, the Pack threw beer bottles at the bus and mooned the players when they left Lambeau. My concern is whether Childress will be better or worse than Les Steckel in Viking history. Right now he is looking like the winner.

Why is it you queen fans are holding on to that vicodin thing, but Randy Moss, the upstanding citizen that he is, drives down the street with a cop on his hood and he is such a nice guy? Just wondering.