Mish, Mash, March...

Okay, I have a bunch of things to get to, not to mention the new podcast starring Mitch Davis, of the Regina Davis'. If that is all you want to see or hear, just click on the link to the right or CLICK HERE and you can listen to the Podcast that does not suck.

I need to first get some mail out of the way. Steve Iverson, of the Moorhead Minnesota viqueen loving Iverson's, sent me a letter and some pics from his fight with the Red River last week.

As you all know, some of TundraTalk nations members have been under attack from the flooding in Fargo and Moorhead. Ivy is one of them and he took time out of the fight to take some pictures and share with the rest of the nation. Here is his note...


Chris,

Here are some photos of the “levee” we constructed at my friend’s house at 3131 Rivershore Drive in Moorhead. I haven’t checked since Sunday, but there were views of this and his neighbor Mark Vanyo’s place on CNN.com.

Pic 15 was a week ago today, when the requirement was to have temporary levees built to 41.

Pic 17 is looking straight back from where pics 15 and 18 were shot – beside the fish house on the deck. All joists were mounted to the existing 2x12 joists on the deck that are in turn mounted to the foundation wall of the house.

Pic 18 is shot at the same place as 15, except Saturday afternoon with the temporary measures built to 43. Note bracing, additional 1” plywood, and awesome detailing of lath finished nailed into the top 2x4 to hold the poly. And the water approximately 4” above where we left off in pic 15…

In Pic 17, note the patio level below. The elevation of the door into the basement down there is 32’. So when the river was at its high point, there was just about 9’ of water above you if you were in the hole checking pumps and heaters. Now THAT was eerie.

His permanent concrete dike is good to 39’, so it appears they will thankfully make it pretty much unscathed.

Respectfully Submitted,

Steve Iverson

Holy crap Ivy. That shit is amazing. It is just unbelievable how hight that water got. I am thinking, maybe this summer you come up and build me something in my backyard. Maybe an extension on my deck, a shed, or hell, just an addition to the house? Sounds good? Good. See ya this summer.

In the picture on the right is a pic of Grand Forks. That cement pilon in the water is where the high water mark was from the flood in 1997. In GF they have installed some huge walls to keep the water back since 1997 so as far as I know they have stayed mostly dry. In the pic on the right is one of Cabelas on the other side of the wall. Pretty amazing how bad ass that river is. These pics were taken by Darin Buri.

Shannon Just, Nick Chase, and Todd Holdman also battled the flood so I am looking forward to an update from them.

NEXT: Mitch Davis, of the Regina Davis', jumped into the podcast that does not suck and gets some right away. He did not shy away from smaking the others. In fact, he took a swipe at TundraTalk legend, Marty Frey. Yeah, he did.

GO AND HAVE A LISTEN. It is 12 minutes that you will not get back, but you might enjoy it. Oh and Marty, you are next so get your game face on, cause I don't play.

NEXT: From the, as Chad Walker (of the Toronto Walkers) calls it, 'Only you Peterson', file. Last week I had a few, as they say, moments. You know the ones, the ones where you just have no idea why you do something but you do it and it just does not work out.

Anyway, the first 'incident' happened on Wednesday. There was this stand off in the hood here in Regina. Some dude got shot in the incident. So as you know this is big time stuff for TV news. Big time. Bleeds it leads. Anyway, I was dispatched to set up for a live shot from the hood. I always love to go to the hood. It is beautiful this time of year.

So as I was setting up the dish out of the corner of my eye I see a couple (girl and a guy) walking toward me and more importantly in front of the transmitting dish. You see the dish sends out microwaves that are probably not that healthy for you. So me being the nice guy I am I tell them not to walk in front of the dish. They go around and as they do the dude, who I might add looked like a hoodlum (I am bringing that word back), said "What is that?". I informed him what it was and I added that "It really isn't good for your baby." At this point he walks away and I go back to work.

About three seconds later he pops around the back of the van and says to me "Did you say baby?". I said yes, and he yelled at me "Dude, SHE AIN'T PREGNANT!"

Uh, sorry. At this point I am thinking that I am short for this world so I tell the engineer on the phone to stay on the line in case I get shot so he can call the cops. What a freaking idiot I am. I totally did not look at the girl that close, I just glanced and from a glance she looked preggo. Now that I know she is not I looked again and realized my error. Maybe I need to get my eyes checked.

Okay, so that story is funny, and yes, I am an idiot, but that one pales in comparison to the next one. Thursday morning I am sent to a press conference at the Lawson Aquatic Centre. The mayor of Regina and some smarmy MLA were announcing that they were going to spend some of my taxes on some repairs. The Lawson is a swimming pool. They set up the presser next to a door since the light in there sucks. They have a podium that I could not get my mic to sit on so I duct taped it to the podium. When in doubt, duct it.

The Mayor walks up to the podium and says "First thing. Whose duct tape is this?" I of course raise my hand. Real men are not afraid of admitting they use duct tape. He says "Nice work." Really sarcastically. He then moves on and the show ends.

I was in no hurry to stick around so I made my move to get out of there. As I went to pick up my jacket I squeezed behind a lady who was taking a picture. It was a tight fit because there was a pole behind her. On this pole was a button. I did not see the button. I proceeded to push the button with my ass. Well, here in lies the rub.

Apparently, the button turns on a shower. Which the lady who was taking the picture was standing right under. Yup, she got wet. Man am I a clutz. Needless to say the Mayor LOVED this. He was just gut laughing up a storm and asking everyone if anyone got video of it and basically humiliating me for my bonehead move.

I have to admit that it was kinda funny, but not really. The Mayor asked if I was sticking around and I said "Nah, I am just gonna have a shower and get out of here." That got a big laugh from the crowd and I just skulked out.

Well it did not take long for the story to get out, thanks Jenna, and later my boss called me to his office. Yup, I thought I was going to get it. Nope, he just wanted to have his kick at the can and wanted me to tell him the story myself. He laughed his ass of and said "We can't send you anywhere." Nice.

So there you have it. My week that was. I hope you enjoyed the stories. I will hopefully not have any more to share any time too soon.

Make sure you have a listen to Mitch's podcast. It is good. Oh, and have a great Easter Weekend.

Now, GET BACK TO WORK!!!!

Some of TundraTalk Nation is under siege...

As most of you know, North Dakota (particularly Fargo) is in big trouble. They have had a few problems with some flooding, then a blizzard, then some thunder and rain, then more snow. The map above says it all. Alot of TT nation is in North Dakota. Ivy, Nick Chase, Shannon Just, Todd Holdman, are in the Fargo/Moorhead area. I know Shannon has been spending his days filling sand bags but I am unsure how the other guys are doing. Drop TT nation a note when you get dried out and let us know what happened?

I really wish I could get down there and do some good but work is keeping me here in Regina. The pic to the right was taken by Todd Holdman. I am unsure if this is in his backyard or what, but that shit is crazy. Keep fighting it Todd. I got your back. Oh and if there is anything any of you fine people in Fargo need that I can help you with, let me know.

Maybe I will write another award winning screenplay about your fight. Of course my first great screenplay was about the flood of 97 in Grand Forks starring everyones hero Tony Mutzenberger. I am unsure if he was deployed this time to Fargo. If he was we all know that he will kick that floods ass.

Hazen had its share of flooding last week also. I am not sure if this has ever happened in the past but man oh man is this crazy. Look at that photo. That is east of town near the golf course. My parents condo is a the bottom of the picture. That little row of trees at the top was the Knife River. Small little river that rose up and kicked some major ass this spring.

As for the flood in Hazen, Jody Murschel said that the river has receded a bit and all will be okay if the snow that they got while the flood was in progress melts at a normal rate. Good luck Hazen. The pic to the right is a shot from south of Main street Hazen. This of course is the home set and studio for WhiteHot productions earliest films. You remember those, Communist Uprising in Middle America, Star Trek Wars, Dakota Vice, and the cult classic Bonanza '87. Hazen was the center of the film universe for me back in the '80s.

Good luck to all of you in North Dakota I am thinking of you.

NEXT: I guess you are wondering why I have a pic of some random guy in line. Well that is the view of the line up for Saskatchewan Riders season tickets. I stood in line last week to see if I could get some for the upcoming season. Well TT Nation, I was successful and have two seats to every game this season. So if any of you ND geeks want to come up and see Weston Dressler light it up in Rider Green, come on up. I have got you covered.

Just jump on Riderville dot com and check the schedule. If you want to come on up and stay at the Peterson stronghold you are certainly welcome here. I can take you to a CFL game, buy you a Pilsner Beer, and we can cheer on the best team in the CFL. Sounds good to me.

NEXT: I went to see the Doodlebops with the kids the other day and man did it suck. I of course have plenty to say about a kids show, see the post about the Dora the Explorer show I took McKenna to. Oh and no one can forget the unedited rant about the Blues Clues show. I will post my opinions on the Doodlebops next week sometime. Yes I was the guy in the crowd yelling Freebird the whole time. Look out cause it is gonna be good.



FINALLY: In the 'It's about time you bastard" column, I will be interviewing Mitch Davis, of the Regina Brother In Law Davis', tomorrow for his Entourage audition. I will get it edited as soon as possible and up for you to listen to. Marty Frey will be up right after that.

Have a good weekend and Fargo stay dry okay?

Back to basics...

Okay, so it has been a while since I actually sat down and put in some time on the old TundraTalk. I apologize. Not sure what has gotten into me but I guess I just have not been too keen on writing lately. My bad.

So I decided today I would just put a post up. Kind of back to basics post. Just me rambling on about something that really is not much, but I will make it a big deal. BUT before I go too far I am going to take care of some business first.

If you are interested the Peterson Family Christmas Letter is up on the internet. You can locate it HERE. If you want to see the Peterson Family Christmas Variety Show you can link to it HERE or just watch it below...


Peterson Family Christmas Variety Show 2008 from hamiltongbp on Vimeo.


NEXT: There now that that is out of the way....Lets get to today's rant.

Now, as most of the country knows, Canada is cold. Regina, on the usual, is around 10 degrees colder. Not sure why, but it is. North Dakota is a very similar climate. Cold enough that it is imparitive that when you go outside you must be dressed appropriately, or even smarter, just don't go outside. I am normally a guy who likes winter. Much better than summer. At least in winter if you are cold, you just put on another layer. Summer, if it is hot and you are sweating just sitting still, you can't do a damn thing about it except turn up the AC. Summer in all it's humid glory blows.

Now all you haters out there, close that email. Don't send me a hate filled diatribe about how great summer is, just shut your pie hole and listen. Don't hate the playa, hate the game. I like summer, not having to put on three layers to go outside is nice. I like sitting on my boat whether it be in the driveway or on the water. Summer is nice, but hot sweaty summer sucks.

Now, I know when I was attending the world famous (for what I don't know) Hazen High School, I was a bit of a dumb ass. Sometimes I would do dumbass things. We all do when we are in high school. Well, except for maybe Nick Chase. He was wound a bit tight. Like for example during the production of the fine WhiteHot Production Dakota Vice we decided it would be cool to stage a shoot out in front of the Red Owl grocery store on Main street. Complete with sound efects and really lifelike toy guns (compliments of the Rock Boys personal collection). Apparently the cops were called and at the end of the scene you can see a cruiser roll past to check it out.

Can you imagine if we tried to do that today? The Government Threat Level would be raised to "extreme red we all going to die" level we would all be put in jail, then have mental evaluations (most of us probably could use those), and then we would be sent off to Guantanamo, or maybe even be put on that plane to be waterboarded some where in a country that does not like us that much. Anyway, long story even longer, that was pretty dumb.

Or the time that I decided I wanted to see how fast my motorcycle could go. Not sure how far over a hundred I got but the front wheel lifted off the ground because I had a faring on it. That was Dumb.

Or the time I had an arguement with my dumbass sister and decided to leave the house. I went out to the car, pushed the garage door opener, started up the Escorche, cranked up Run DMC on the bottom of the line cheapest Alpine stereo (that only had fast forward) I could get, to 11, and then failed to look to see if the door opened. Yup, that was REAL dumb. Dad was not to happy that I installed a drive thru on the garage door.

Anyway, I did some dumb things. Which leads me to the reason for this rant. I know I am getting old, but I do not think I am that old. As I was driving thru these recent snowstorms on my way to work the past few days I have been marveling at how stupid high school kids are now. They think they are bullet proof. Case in point. This morning as I passed the first of two high schools I saw what I thought was just Mensa club worthy.

These boneheads park on the street in front of the school. On the road there are two lanes, in the summer. In the winter there is barely two lanes because of all the snow piled in the median. These Einstiens get out of their cars and walk down the middle of the right lane to get to school. They don't even hesitate when two lanes of cars are coming at them. They just keep on walking whilst the two lanes are scrambling to make one on the icy roads. Hey shit head, walk on the sidewalk. Oh sorry there is snow on the sidewalk so the open toed shoes you are wearing will get snow in them. My bad. I guess that is good logic to walk on the fu#king road.

Not to mention none of these idiots are wearing a toque. Put a freaking hat on. It is -50 and you think it is too important to not mess up your hair so you decide to not wear a cap. Brilliant. I know it was cold back in the day when I was travelling to school, but I don't think I was EVER that stupid. I want to keep my ears. Oh, maybe they have heated iPod headphones. Don't even get me started on the three girls I saw walking down the sidewalk all of them with their heads down texting. GET OFF YOUR PHONE AND TALK TO EACH OTHER.

Get this, the other day I was at the Co Op getting groceries and as I left the parking lot I saw this group of girls walking back to school from lunch. There is a McCrappy's in our neighbor hood so one of them had a bag of food with her. As she is walking out of the parking lot she just throws the bag on the ground, like that is what you are supposed to do with your left over McD's shit. "Someone else will pick it up, it is too much work to carry it to a trash can." So me being the nice guy I am I roll down the window and yell at her "Hey, you dropped something." Now she gets this panicked look on her face that she acually DID drop something, like her phone or iPod. The the realization comes over her that I am pointing out her stupidity right in front of all her friends.

She starts to walk over to pick it up but the other moron with her tells her not to. Seeing that this situation is about to degenerate, I decide to take it up a notch and I tell her to not be a moron and stop littering my neighborhood with her crap. At this point her friend starts to call me names and I of course respond in kind about how ignorant it is to be a litterer, all the while the bonehead in question still has not said a thing. I look at her and ask her if she speaks english because all she did was stand there and look confused. BAM it was like dropping a bomb. Her friends immediately draw the race card (she looked a bit Asian). I think she was a bit torn by the situation because she knew the right thing was to go and pick up the bag so the angry a-hole in the truck will shut up but she did not want to lose face with her girls.

At this point I call them all morons and roll up the window and drive away. You cannot win an argument where the race card has been drawn. No way no how. Especially since I am that white guy in a pick up truck. I'll tell ya, I would have said that to anyone. Black, white, yellow, purple, or green. The purple person would probably be a viqueen fan and really would NOT speak english.

Anyway, where was I going with this. Oh yeah, kids are stupid. I am sounding like an old man. I have caught myself on many occasion standing on my lawn yelling at guys driving by for going to fast. Pathetic. I may as well start telling the 'I walked to school 60 miles uphill against the wind stories already." Oh wait, I told McKenna that story yesterday. I also know my kids are sure going to do stupid things but I just hope I am able to correct them with out calling them Morons.

NEXT: I have some pics from the Trailer Park Boys show that I attended last week to show you and I will get them up here soon.

Have a great day. GET BACK TO WORK!!!

The realization of a dream...

Okay, sorry, again that this has taken so long to get to. You know all the usual excuses, CHRIStmas rush, work, went to PHX for my dad's 70th birthday, too much TV to watch. You know, the usual things. I need to keep up with this better. I went from around 10 posts a month to two. Not good.

Lets take care of some book keeping things first. For those of you who have been following the Entourage competition closely, you have way more patience with it than I. Oh and Tony Mutzenberger, of the war hero Mutzenbergers, will not be doing a podcast. His and my schedule have not been able to connect so he has bowed out of the line up. Which is too bad because I had some wing dingers to ask him. What does that mean? Well, not much other than Mitch Davis, of the Regina Davis' is up next. Mitch is in the line up for Nepotism reasons and lets hope he can bring his red rage up a notch and give us a reason to consider him for one of the spots.

NEXT: I want you all to sit down. I have some big news. NO it is not we are having another kid because the operation did not take hold. Speaking of that traumatic situation, it did not work. Yup, you heard me right, the OPERATION DID NOT WORK.
You might be saying to yourself, "Self how does Chris know it did not work if his wife is not preggers?" Well to not go into too much embarassing detail, lets just say there is a test, I took it and failed. It involved a cup, a brown paper bag, and a mad dash to the hospital. I think that was too much detail. Moving on.

Now some of you will blame it on me. Not really in a position to make a difference on whether it works or not laying on a table with my junk out, so that is not the reason. Some may take it to the next level and blame it on the Canadian Health Care system. I am not going to blame that because I had no problem getting it done and it did not cost anything so I will not blame that.

What I will blame is the dumb ass doctor. The fact that he said 'oops' during the procedure, the fact that he did not know what an iPod was, and the fact that his damn hands were cold. That is what I am going with.

Where do I go from here? I will tell you that back on that damn table is NOT an option. No way, no how. Screw, a, err, that. I think I need to just sit back and relax for a while and contemplate the gravity of this situation. Then decide what to do. For those of you who are in Regina and have this little procedure scheduled. STAY AWAY FROM DR. SOOD.



NEXT: Here is the meat of what is going on right now. Why may you ask is Ric Flair atop this paragraph? Well I will tell you. Ric Flair, as most of you know, is the greatest wrestler of all time. Hands down. No discussion, no debate. He retired last year at Wrestlemania. I have been watching this man on TV for around 30 years. Every time he hit the ring and I was anywhere near a TV I had it on. I am as you say a HUGE FAN. I own the action figures, the championship belt, the DVD's, and the program.



No one conducts and interview better than this guy. No one. I have been quoting this guy's catch phrases for years. The only thing I did not get to see is him wrestle in person. I saw him at Wrestlmania IX come in and do a run in on Hogan and Vince. I also once saw him in Edmonton do a run in on Chris Benoit during a Raw show. Never saw him wrestle. I once drove from Green Bay to Fargo for a Thursday night Thunder show on the rumour that he was going to be there. I saw something on a website that said he might be there so I got Nick to get tickets and took the day off so I could be there when he came back. Nope, did not happen.

Ric was, and I guess still is to some extent the guy who 'lived the gimmick'. Back in the day before Vince told everyone that wrestling was rigged, I will not say fake because these guys get hurt way too much for it to be fake, the guys would live the character. Like for instance, the night Nick Chase and I sent a beer over to Mr. Perfect. He looked over from the bar, gave us a dirty look and then drank the beer. Bad guys were bad, and good guys were good. Now people like Kane act way too nice outside the ring for me to even believe anything he does inside it.



Ric was the playboy wheeling, dealing, jet flying, limo riding, Kiss stealing, space mountain son of a gun. He said it on TV, he lived it in real life. I thought that was way too cool. Everything he said was cooler than anything I would ever say in my life. I wanted to meet Ric from the first day I saw him on TV back in 1982.

Fast forward to February of next year, and that dream comes true. Blair Stefishin, of the Edmonton Stefishin's, sends me this email...

The time has come. What time you ask? The time has come that the greatest man in history, the man who has shaped the world as we know it today, the man that IS the man has named E-town as a stop on his pilgrimage to spread wisdom as only THE man can. Who could this great prophet be you ask? My children, I speak of the one, the only, his holyness the Nature Boy; WOOOOOOOOOOOOO! When, you ask, will he spread his great gospel to us lowly servants of The Man? February 7, 2009; that's right, 1 night only to have the opportunity to be in the presence of greatness. You say you would give all your worldly belongings to be a part of this great pilgrimage?

Well, my children, that is an awesome show of devotion, though you need only sacrifice a small fee to have the opportunity to hear the words of his holyness. However, if you purport you are righteous enough to stand to the right hand of true greatness, a vial of your life essence and slightly larger fee is all you need renounce for VIP seating (first 2 rows), free autographed memorabilia, and the opportunity to meet, greet and lay your hands upon his holyness.

Thank you, my children, and may The Man bless us all. WOOOOOOOOO!



Wooooooooooo, is right. Ric is doing some kind of spoken word legends of wrestling tour and it's only stop in Canada, so far, is in Edmonton. I am soooooo going. Of course there is no way that I am NOT going to sit in the first two rows and get that meet and greet. This is going to be huge. There will probably be a tremor in the force. I bet that the security threat level (you remember that don't you. Bush used it to get re elected) will be raised to super red. There may be press there to cover this event. Two legends together in one place. Whooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.

I cannot wait. Of course I will have full reports with photos and I hope some audio from the event. Blair and I will provide team coverage that no other multi dollar semi important blog site will have. Believe that. Now there is also the situation that I promised Donna that I would retire from wrestling if I got to go to Wrestlemania IX in Seattle. I checked the contract and I found a loophole that allows me to attend this show. Since there will be no wrestling, per se, it does not qualify as a wrestling event. It is a concert or a lecture. Nick is a good lawyer, look him up.

I will leave you with one last Ric Flair moment to get your humpday going...




Now GET BACK TO WORK!!!!!!

The Gear Daddies, Minneapple, and the Twins game sucked...

Okay, so this post is a bit late but the whole Favre to NY threw me off and I have been busy as hell lately so just read it and get over yourself.

I was in Minneapolis last weekend. Yup, I was in the states. I know most of you felt a tremor in the force. I went down with Donna to see Robby, Dahl, Nick, Tony, and the Gear Daddies. Not necessarily in that order.

We left Regina on Wednesday night with full intentions of getting to Minot in time to have some ribs and beers with Tony Mutzenberger and Steve Shoenrock, of the Minot Mutzenbergers and Shoenrocks. Work did not get me out early and an unfortunate forgetting of the passports set us back.

Oh well, it is all good. We stopped over halfway and dropped McKenna with my parents in Hazen to stay for a visit and we were back on the road the next day. We stopped for Lunch in Fargo and were able to hook up with Nick Chase of the Fargo Chases. It was a nice visit with him and his wife and baby. I have not seen Nick for a while and it was like we just saw each other yesterday the way we just rapped like old times. Nick of course is stamping out Terrorism and anyone else who dares to flout the rules of law in North Dakota. Much ass is kicked by this man everyday. Don't F with Nick Chase.

After lunch we finished our trip by arriving at Robby DuPuis of the Minneapolis Dupuis. He has a very nice house just at the end of the Minneapolis Saint Paul Airport. It is amazing how low those planes fly above his house.

On the agenda for the weekend was a trip to see the Gear Daddies at the Zoo Amphitheatre, a trip to see the Twins at the Metrodome, some artsy stuff at the Art Fair, and some serious shopping at the Mall of America.

Friday morning took us to the Mall. Donna did some power shopping and I purchased a replica of the new Lambeau to go with my old one. Good morning at the mall. Robby worked that day. It was the first anniversary of the bridge falling into the river so he had some big shoots that day. If you remember correctly he was the first TV news camera on the scene that day. He has even was interviewed for a special that aired that evening. I saw Robby's footage from that day and he did a great job. Proud of him, I taught him everything he shouldn't do so he did great.

Anyway, Friday night brought the reason why we travelled all this way. Well that and the beer that Scott Dahl owed me. The concert was at the Minneapolis Zoo Amphitheatre. Nice little venue to see a show at. Around 1000 people crowded in to listen to a band that has been around for a long time. The Gear Daddies are a band from Minnesota that play a brand of alt rock/country that I am a huge fan of.

Dahl got the tickets for us, which I still owe him for, and the night was on. I managed to record most of it on my iPod. I know it is not exactly kosher to do that, but hell, I did. If you would like a copy just drop me a line and we will get it done. Oh and just so you know, there is a lot of us singing on this copy. Well here have a listen...


Gear Daddies live... from hamiltongbp on Vimeo.

Yup, that is me singing. The drunk guy. That was an awesome concert. A band that I have wanted to see for a long time.

The next day we, as my suggestion, decided to go to a Twins game. I take full responsibility for this trip. I know, the Twins suck, the Metrodome sucks, it all sucks. I have never been in the Metrodome so I wanted to experience the suck in person. Plus, I was hoping to do Robby DuPuis Entourage Podcast at the game. You know, that would be cool right. Podcast live from a major league baseball game. Well, kinda major league since it is the twins.

I figured that it would be me, Donna, Robby, Dakota, and about 10 other people. That is usually what I see on the highlights. Well, unbeknownst to me it was Twins DQ hat night. It is amazing how midwesterners will go out of their way to get something free. If I was a Twins fan and a resident of Minnesota, thank god I am not, I would soooo be there. We could not get a seat on the lower level, from scalpers. I hate those guys. That is a whole nother story. Anyway, we sat way up in the top of the Metrodome. If this were a queens game, which again thank god it was not, it would suck to watch a game there. Way to sterile and air conditioned. Especially for baseball, a person must be outside for a ball game not in this baggie dome.

So we are watching the game and this dude about 10 rows up starts yelling at the team. My first thought is dude, we are three miles from the game, they cannot hear you. But he paid for his seat he has a right to yell. Then this broad, and I use this term in a completely non flattering way, starts yelling back at him. I immediately think we are going to have a fight. I of course, encouraged the fight. Nothing happened. So I decide to find more tasty beverages so I go out and search for a tasty one. While I was gone the broad decided to have this guy kicked out. He wasn't swearing, he wasn't too abusive he just was an Indian fan. So this chick took it upon herself to have him ejected.

Robby decided to give her a piece of his mind on the way out. I told him I had his back and he proceeded to tell her that if she did not like heckling that she should stay at home and watch the game. Well this trailer trash did not like this and promptly told Robby that he should go back to New York. Dumb ass, which is what I called her a few times. Then, get this, just as we get to the concourse she grabs my arm, pulls me toward her, says "have a nice night", AND HER DAUGHTER KICKED ME IN THE SHINS. Then they ran to the womans bathroom. AMAZING.

I just got kicked in ths shin by a 13 year old trailer park trash kid, who is a Twins fan, at a MLB game. Wow. I hate to generalize, but I think I will. Twins fans are just as dumb as queen fans. Sorry. Here is another thing about Twinsfan that drove us crazy. NO ONE SITS AND WATCHES THE DAMN GAME. We sat on the aisle so all we saw the whole game was jerkoffs going up and down buying sammiches, dogs, popcorn, pop, and anything else they think they need RIGHT NOW. We only saw a few innings of baseball, and a ton of a-holes walking up and down. Sucked, sucked, sucked, sucked.

So that was the basic gist of our weekend in Minneapple. I did not get to do my podcast from the Twins game, but we did it from Robby's man cave in his basement. CLICK HERE to listen to the magic, or just click the link above. I have had it up for a week or so and some of you have already hit it so thank you for listening to TundraTalk the Podast. Robby did a great job and we added a new game to the show. It is called Brush with Greatness to the Death. Basically the host starts with a Brush With Greatness story and then the guest has to counter. It goes back and forth until one of us give up. I will tell you that I do not give up. Deal with that.

Now Tony Mutzenberger of the Minot Mutzenbergers was supposed to go before Robby but he has been busy being an army guy so I will get to him soon. Up after that will be Mitch Davis of the Regina Davis'. Good luck Mitch. Start studying your man laws.


Okay that is all. Now GET BACK TO WORK!!!!!

It is time to put it all on the table. Literally...

As I sit here with a bag of frozen peas on my lap I can honestly tell you that I am willing to share anything up here on TundraTalk. I shared with you my root canal. I shared with you my Trish Stratus fart story. Nothing really is out of bounds.

I am now taking it to the next level. If you are a loyal listener to TT the Podcast, you know that I was scheduled to get fixed. That's right the Big V. Before you run screaming to your You Tube site to watch some dude sing a bad version of Karioke, I will tell you I have no pictures, just a few good stories. If you enjoy laughing, read on. If you enjoy laughing at me, you HAVE to read on. Doug Helbing of the Bismarck Helbings, said he had it done a while back so if guys are doing it it must be okay, right?

Before I went to this thing I decided that if I do not make it through this, I would give all my sports memoribilia to Trev Doroshenko, of the Regina Doroshenkos. EXCEPT the Brett Favre ball because when I go, I am taking that with me. Not sure if Trev wants all of it, but that is too bad if he doesn't. Donna was a bit upset with that because she said she would want to keep it around and 'cherish' it. Not sure if that is code for garage sale, but it was nice to hear.

It was yesterday at 12:30pm. I of course was soooo excited. I mean really, who doesn't want to lay on a table with your junk hanging out for some dude to take a scalpel to? Oh, yeah, just get in that line. Nick Chase, of the fighting terrorism Fargo Chases, commented that he thinks it is a "minor" surgery and I told him it is "bigger" than he thinks, and stop thinking about 'it'. Not that there is anything wrong with that.?.

Lets go back a few months. I was hanging out at the CBC in Kenny Bilash's, of the Regina Bilash's, edit bay when the subject came up. Not sure how or why, but it did. Kenny said that the CBC had done a story on this new 'scalpeless procedure' that they are doing now and that I should watch it. Well, I am one for not having too much pain, especially down there, so Kenny goes and gets the story and I go to a vacant edit bay and sit down for a look see.

I cue it up and the first thing I see is another dudes junk right there in 16x9. That is all I need is someone to come into this edit bay, where I am sitting by myself, and see me looking at some other guys junk! Kenny set me up. He says he didn't, but with a smirk on his face. Nice. No digi back when they did this story? Come on. No one wants to see another guys junk.

Needless to say the doc that is doing the procedure does not do the new 'scalpeless' way. So I guess the joke is on me again.

Fast forward to yesterday around noon we are pulling into the Pasqua General Hospital and there is this big German Shepard in the back of a truck in front of us barking his head off. Yeah buddy, I know how you feel.

After around a 30 minute wait, Canadian wait times aren't that bad don't beleive what the fear mongering Republicans tell you, my name is called. Moment of truth. I have been waiting for around 3 or 4 months for the day (I had to cancel once, and the doctor had to cancel once) to get here and now was go time. I was instructed remove my gear and to lie on the table and cover up with a blanket. I brought my iPod with me to try to cope with the idea that I am going to be awake while some dude has sharp edges near my stuff.

Doc walks in, I put on Rage Against the Machine. He asks me what is that? I say and iPod and he responds what is that? My doctor does not know what the hell an iPod is? What the hell? Am I sure that he is who he says he is. Maybe I should check ID. 'Just another bomb track' is now blasting in my ears.

As a cameradude who once worked for Trinity Hospital in Minot and did Trinity Health Talk once a week for the lousy noon show on KX, I have shot hundreds of surgeries. Major and 'minor' as Nick calls it. I have seen a mans heart stopped, I have seen total knee replacement, and I have even seen an angioplasty (I think). BUT ALWAYS THROUGH A BLACK AND WHITE VIEWFINDER. Never in color and never with my own two naked eyes. Sorry about saying naked. Whenever I flip by some show that is showing a surgery I flip fast. Cannot stand to see it, don't want to see it. Keep it away from me.

The doctor asked me if I wanted to know what he was doing? Nope, just leave me alone with my Rage. I just want you to do it and get out. He of course did not like that but still did not take away my iPod.

Since I had the iPod only in one ear so as to make sure that I heard his instructions "Whatever you do don't move your hands down here." Okay that is easy. I hear this metal clip that appears to sound a bit like when you release a vice grip pliers. Uh oh, what is that for? I did not have to wait long to find out. That is exactly what it was, a vice grip for my boys. Now the next time I hear that a chick has a dudes nuts in a vice, I know exactly what they are talking about. Hey doc how about some numbing for the area? Holy crap that is a bit of a pain.

By this time we are up to 'Killing in the Name of". Okay here we go, needle number one. Pain but not bad. Now this guy must have been in a hurry because he hadn't set down the needle before I could feel the scalpel cutting me. Yeowch. Not something I recommend to anyone. Things are going along well, if you consider 'well' is another guy with a vice grip on your boys slicing and dicing his way through my privates. When all of a sudden I feel like someone just kicked me as hard as they can. I of course express my discomfort. The the doc says "Oh sorry, I can fix that."

WHAT!?!?!?! YOU CAN FIX THAT? WTF? That is the last thing a dude wants to hear when a doctor is working on the boys. He says 'I can fix that'? Oh man, am I pissed. I put both ear pieces in and hear "F#ck you I won't do what I tell you". Yeah, Rage is just what I need right now.

He 'fixes' that and says to me "If it is any consolation I am almost done....with this side." Thanks, dick. He stiches me up and starts on the other side and a nurse comes in, on the other side of the screen, and asks the doctor if he needs anything. My first thought is he needs a manual, but doc says he is fine. I tell the nurse I could use a shot of vodka and she replies that they have some but do not share with the patients. Great, everyone is a comedian.

At this point I am half way thru the Rage record and I am sweating like a pig. Just sweat running off of me. He tells me he is going to give me extra pain stopper for the other side. Thanks dude, now just get it done. He manages to get thru the other side with out having to 'fix' anything and is sewing me up. At this point he calls for a nurse to come in and 'help' him find a band aid. Oh great, it is not humiliating enough that a guy has a hold of my jewels but now someone else gets to come in and witness it. I think to myself, she is just a nurse, no big deal. Nurses are like your mom. Great, now I have mentioned my mom. I open my eyes and see the nurse. Great. She looks like the nurse that you see at a strip show. I am lying here with my junk out, some dude has a hold of it, and strip show nurse comes in.

How do you act cool in this situation? No way to do it. On top of that I look like someone has dumped a bucket of water on me I am sweating so much. Hey doc, can you wrap this thing up soon while I still have a fragment of my dignity?

So he does and then just says to me, "When you feel like getting up just get up and go." And he left. Whatever happened to bedside manner? You just spent 30 minutes holding onto my family jewels and you don't even say goodbye? How about buying me dinner?

So I lay there for a while reflecting on what just happened, and another nurse comes in and gives me some paperwork and then kinda stands there as to say "Well, are you leaving?"

I appease them and get up gingerly and head to the waiting room where Donna and the girls are waiting. As I walk out of the joint, again gingerly, I could not help but think that it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be but hell, could they not at least get me drunk before they did all that to me?

Now GET BACK TO WORK!!!!!

The Entourage Competition is back after a brief hiatus...

Okay, I have taken the appropriate time to mourn the loss of Number 4 so it is time to get back to the business at hand. Discussing the important things, the things that really matter in the world. The things that all of you, TundraTalk Nation, are talking about around the water cooler, or keg, whichever type of place you work at. That's right Me picking an Entourage.

Over the past few days the entries have come fast and furious, after a gentle prod. There are a few of you who are dragging your feet, or just waiting to get the last word. Which I might add is not a bad strategy. So either you are lazy or smart, however you choose to look at it. Robby DuPuis, Shane T Keller, Trevor D, and Min, we want to hear from you.

First up this week is Mike Chaussee, Bismarck ND Chaussee's. I worked with Mike at KXMB. My first real TV job. If you can call it that. I still to this day remember Mike standing over the news wire, back when it still was a separate printer that spit out news independantly, and completely going apeshit when the news of Reggie White going to Green Bay came accross. I made fun of him that day. Come to think of it I made fun of him a lot. Like shooting fish in the barrel. Anyway, that was a monumental day, and like some people who can tell you where they were when JFK was shot, or the day of the moon landing, I can tell you that I was in the KXMB news room making fun of Mike Chaussee on the day Reggie White went to Green Bay to lead the greatest team ever to a Super Bowl. Nice. Mike take it away...

Of course I want in.

Here's the deal... first of all I was the one who showed you the way to Green Bay (at least in the NFL spirit kind of way). I'm a Packer fan, and was before you found the light.

Secondly, I'm the original DINGLESCHPUTZ!! That has to count for something. I said 'yes' to Romine. Together we made fun of the entire Reiten family. I listened to you sing that insane Beaver song. We went on stories together in a freakin' drug van (you drove, does that put you in my entourage?). I have now seen the Barenaked Ladies in concert.

And finally, I knew you when you were just a cocky know-it-all with no real experience, and I let you think you knew something anyway. Oh, and I helped end your little crush on Marci Narum (hehe)!!

Mike

Okay, you were doing fine until you mentioned Marci Narum. Wow, there is a blast from the past. We used to make fun of Marci pretty regular. No crush for me. Ughhhhhh, I get bad shivers just thinking about her. Come to think of it we made fun of a lot of people back then. Mike Kopp? He was easy to mess with. How about little Timmy Reiten. Love that guy. Now he is in charge at KX. Big man on campus. No longer the morning cut in guy. That dude is funny. Not sure what the Beaver song was or is. Man I am soooo losing my memory. For the record, yes I was a know it all rookie, but I was a likeable know it all rookie. Just being a Packer fan puts you in the running. Good work, well except the hehe thing. I believe nowadays the kids are using LOL. Come on, get with the times.

Nick Chase, of the US ass kicking attorneys office Chase's, drops some wisdom on me...

Ding, ding, ding

Burgess Meredith: What are we waitin' for?

Nick Chase

Nice Nick, quoting Rocky. I can understand what you are saying. So, Nick, back at ya. How about this one..

"I wake up every morning and piss excellence..." Ricky Bobby

Yup, I love that movie. Lots of things you can learn from Talladega Nights. In fact I think that that will be one of the first movies I put in our super cool SUV limo DVD player for us to watch as we cruise from one happenin' party to the next. That and Red Dawn. NEXT!!!

Next up is old school. In fact most literally, High School Old School. Chad Weiser, of the Microsoft loving Bellevue Washington Weiser's. Chad represents the previous entourage that I had and makes a strong case saying that he was in the original and therefore has really never left. Good point Chad, good point. Take it away...

Well Mr. Peterson,

I am here to be the first to call you an idiot in every paragraph to follow, since that seems to be the most important qualification for your Entourage.

You are clearly the Man and have always been the Man! Idiot! I shudder to think that we took a future war hero through the car wash in my El Camaro, but I guess we were just toughening him up for his future decorated career.

To bolster my candidacy, I want you to remember who had your back way back in the day when your goal in life was to piss off the principal of our High School for personal entertainment. Remember when you wore a zebra outfit head to toe along with American flag shorts over your sweats so everyone at the high school girls basketball tournament knew who was the head referee in the house. Idiot! Questions of your patriotism for wearing a flag on your ass flew around town. Who had your back? That's right, your Homey C-Dub.

I led your Entourage before you knew you had an entourage. Who was writing lyrics by your side for North Dakota's first white boy rap group? Who was writing screenplays and playing best supporting actor in some of your Oscar-winning directorial masterpieces? Idoit! Remember Bonanza, Star Trek Wars, Crossfire, Dance Party. Who sent you love letters when you were away fighting fires? That's right, me and my future wife. We all loved you and still do.

Bottomline is I know this job. I know how to run with the Man, play the game, drink beer, eat Brats, pretend I like the Packers, live with 3 females (not including the cat), and still kick ass. Friendships run deep. You know I got your back and will play my role.

I'm your utility infielder, I can do a little of everything. I'm definitely down with some other Homeys covering the side and back exits though. You always need 5 dudes for any of those potential street fights as well as to control the uncontrollable papparazzi.

If it helps my candidacy, I'll pick up and move from the Emerald City (future former home of the Sonics and current home of your favorite Seattle Seahawks) to the home of our lovely neighbors to the North and next Super Power based on the current trend in exchange rates. Plus, my wife says I need a different job anyway. I will wait for your phone call!

Bud Weiser

Check out that name. Bud Weiser. Yup, being named after a beer, no matter how bad a beer it is, has GOT to give you a leg up. Chad, good work. Being willing to pick up and move also really bolsters your candadacy. Also, if I remember correctly you were there at the time of my LAST fight. That's right, it is all coming back to me now. Main street Hazen. Some a-hole had been calling me out for about a month and I finally decided to take him up on his offer so I stopped got out and picked him up by the shirt, threw him against his car, and was about to pop him in the grill when his buddy hit me in the back of the head, then ran. All the while, you sat in the Escorche watching and getting my back!!! You were on probation from that sordid little incident at Target in Fargo so you could not get in any trouble. IDIOT!!! Yeah, Chad, this is bringing back lots of memories. It is true you were the leader of the original Entourage which included Bryan Powell, Shannon Just, Reggie Rudolph, and sometimes Steve Schoenrock. Yup, you were a natural leading that crew. Plus, you got us tickets to Wrestlemania 19 at Safeco Field. That was huge. Nice job Chad.

Speaking of Wrestlemania, next up is Ivy, of the Moorhead Minnesota Ivy's, who also attended the big show at Safeco...

You know I'd always have your back whether you bought me a sweet ride and let me drive you around Regina as an official Entourage member or not. You've assembled a pretty fomidable assemblage. And of course I would tell you when you are cracked when necessary.

I'm sitting here at my eldest's hockey practice. Still don't and likely never will appreciate this game but he loves it and has some nice skill for his first year. He just slid a forehander in.

You are having a mid life crisis or something. Did you ever find what you were looking for in the first place?

Hope all is well on your end!

Ivy

Okay, glad you took time from your kids hockey practice to respond. That is dedication. BUT, ME, MIDLIFE CRISIS? I think a person first has to be at MIDLIFE before he can do that. I am only, uh, errr, 40. Okay, got me on that one, BUT I am not out buying a Vette. The cool car I want is an 71 El Camino. That does not say Midlife Crisis, it says "I am serious, but I like to party."

Ivy seems to be intimidated a bit by the other competitors so maybe he can be an alternate. Still not sure that saying that I am having a crisis is gonna get you points. Calling me an idiot, yes, crisis no.

We still have a few more people to hear from so this may take a bit more time. PLUS Blashill has indicated that he is working on a prize of sorts for the final list. Something that I do not want to say because I may jinx it. It sounded huge.

So If you have not made your case, get R done, and if you have already made your plea and want to add to it, go right ahead. I think that if someone broke off a video explanation that might be huge. YouTube is where it is at right now. Let me see it.

Now, GET BACK TO WORK!!!!

I am gonna get me an entourage...

Okay, so I have decided to start writing again. No not just here to you the loyal TundraTalk Nation, but another screenplay. Or maybe just a story. I am not sure what has inspired me to do this. I think maybe it has to do with a few things. The other day I was digging around in the furnace room looking for something that I have no idea where it is when I found a box of letters. My Mom and Dad, for some reason decided to keep all the correspondence that I received when I was in school and the Forest Service. Not sure why.

Oh, wait, you remember that don't you. Writing letters? Can you imagine? I used to, apparantly, write a lot of letters. I probably had around 60 letters in this box. Most of them from girls. Now before you start thinking that I am just bragging, don't. These letters were not hot or even warm. They pretty much sucked. Weird thing about it some of the girls I got letters from I cannot for the life of me remember what they looked like or even who they were. Crazy. After reading a few of them I figured out I had a pretty much a form letter that I sent them. Basically describing what I have been up to, a question on what they are doing, and then asking for their phone number and a picture. Seriously, every one of these letters from different girls answered the same questions.

I also got a few letters from Chad Weiser, of the Bellevue Microsoft is satan Weisers, Reg Rudolph, of the Garrison Rudolphs, and Shannon Just, of the not sure where Justs. It must not have been to easy for those guys to write because there were no more than two from each of them. Shannon was so lazy that he even had my mom fill in the address to the Forest Service. Lazy bastard. Letter writing is a lost art, and by the looks of these letters, not to many of my homeboys were artists. Reggie's was good though.

Anyway, I have always wanted to put down on paper my experiences in the Forest Service fighting fire and reading these letters reminded me of some of those stories so I decided to finally start writing it.

So obviously, that leads me to want to put together an Entourage. You know, for when I sell the book or screenplay and have loads of money to just throw away on my homies. I need a support system to keep me real. I know, some of you are saying "What the hell are you talking about Chris. Isn't that what your family is for?" Yes, and no. I like the show Entourage, and I just wanted to go through, what I will call a tryout, or the interview process of putting one together.

A good Entourage consists of four or five dudes. No you can't just put anyone into these spots. I do not want an Entourage that consists of yes men that will just go along with all my lame brain ideas. I need guys who will not be afraid to call me an idiot. Most of the people I have chosen to go on the list would probably step over themselves to call me an idiot so I think I will be okay on that point. After all if you have a group of yes men that usually leads to jail time like Tyson, or Iverson. You know the old saying, "You are who you roll with." Well I guess it is not old but it works.

So I am going to break down a list of potential candidates for my Entourage. I hope no one is offended by not being on this list but trust me I have put a lot of thought into this. This list is in no particular order, just putting it out there. Good luck and here we go...

MARTY FREY - Check the list to the right, whose name is at the top of topics in TT. Marty Freaking Frey. This guy is a frontrunner for many reasons. He is a Packer fan, he sends me stuff, he has major connections, he has been to the Playboy Mansion twice in the past year, he almost burnt me to a crisp for a commercial, and he is usually one of the first guys I can count on to call me an idiot. Marty is also the man who uttered the infamous 'Dee Snider Poker Night Comment'. Which of course is huge. Trump will not work with anyone else in LA and neither would I. Marty this is your spot to lose.


DEREK VENCKUS - Derek made this list on his ability to make me laugh. A dude has got to have a guy to make him laugh in case I have a bad day at the studio because some dumb ass actor will not do what I tell them to. Venckus is also a person who will call me an idiot just for drill. Plus he knows hockey. I needs a guy to talk hockey with. I believe he is a closet Packer Fan. Every Entourage needs a driver, and I have seen Derek drive the NBC 26 mobile commisaries at the Elkhart track in Wisconsin. To quote the great movie Ricky Bobby - "Derek Bobby is not a thinker, Derek Bobby is a Driver." Derek is a definite front runner for one of the spots.



TREVOR DOROSHENKO - Our first Canadian to pop up on the list, Trev is a guy who unfortunatly is a Red Wings fan but makes up for it by tolerating my Packer Talk. Trev is a guy I went to war with at the A-Channel which spawned our charity golf tournament that was a huge success in Edmonton for 6 years. Trev also shows much loyalty to me by following me from Edmonton to Regina. He missed me so much after we left that he could not take living in E-town with out me. That my friends is loyalty. Good on him. Trev also is a guy who is not afraid to call me names if I deserve it. Good luck Trev. Oh and we will forgive him for posing like the Heisman, a college award, at the PRO football hall of fame.


SHAWN HAUSER - Hauser, or Hauserinskinov as he is called in the NHL, starts off well by being a Packer Fan. As you recall from the NFC Championship weekend podcast, he is vital in the Packers success last year. He gives Favre hand signals from the sidelines when Brett does not know what to do. Sweet. Hauser is also a hockey fan (Rangers too bad) and loves beer. You have got to have a guy in your crew who can locate and allocate beer when it is needed. Hauser has these qualities in spades. He was also there on the infamous 'Dee Snider Poker Night Comment'. Hauser has a house full of women, as I do, so hanging with the boys is crucial. Hauser is a very strong candidate.

CORY BLASHILL - Our second Canadian to make the list. Cory, well where do I start with Cory? Lets just say Cory is the goods. If you need something, Cory can get it. If something is broke, Cory can fix it. If you need something to eat, Cory can cook it. If you need a live hit in les than 5 minutes, Cory is your huckleberry. If you need gossip on someone, just pull up a chair. Also if someone is bugging you and you want them to go away, Cory will send them packing. Cory also has the best luck of anyone I know. Plus he has great stories from the road and always drinks with the finest athletes. Oh, and Cory can plan a party like no other. It would be safe to say right now that Cory pretty much has a spot locked up.


ROBBY DUPUIS - Robby, despite living in Minneapolis, is for one the guy who I could count on in my crew to be the voice of reason. You know the one, the guy who keeps us from going into the wrong bars, casinos, or strip clubs. The one who at the drop of the hat could have us in a limo on the way to Vegas. Of course he would get us comped. The only thing about Robby that is holding him back a bit is the fact that he is a fan of the Donkeys and John Elway. As you can see in the picture he is getting his ass handed to him by the Hansen Brothers. Robby knows that the greatest film of all times is Slapshot. Robby could also be the enforcer of the group. Need one of those.


THE NORDIC MAN - First and formost, he has a killer nickname. A must have in a posse. You must have a guy with a nickname. Nordic Man. Now that kicks ass. Secondly, he is our hook up for Packers tickets. This guy ALWAYS comes through for me or my boys. Nordic Man also has a palace in Gillet Wisconsin that is sutiable for many a fine get together. Nordic Man also loves hockey and is willing to tell me to shut up if I need to. The Nordic one is also a man with a house full of women. Guys like us need a lot of QT with the boys. This crew would supply all of that time. Last, but certainly not least, he was also there on the infamous 'Dee Snider Poker Night Comment'. Nice job Nordic Man you are on the list.



TONY MUTZENBERGER - I am starting a new trend with my posse. A war hero. From now on when someone considers putting together an Entourage they will consider a war hero. Tony is down. Now, he may not want to join my posse because he probably is still upset about Chad and me putting him thru the car wash in the back of Chad's El Camino in high school. Maybe he is over it though, we really could use a guy who knows his way around an AK-47.



CHAD WEISER - Speaking of Chad, a person should have at least one of his boys from way back in his crew. Chad has many qualities that would fit in my crew. First and foremost he likes beer. Unfortunately he is a Seahawk fan but he makes up for it by being a Celtics fan. He is also a man who has a house full of women and could use more time with the boys. Chad works for a landscape architecture firm so when I get ready to build the palatial mansion he can design it with everyone's needs in mind so when we all move in we will not feel the least bit uncomfortable. Oh, did I mention that we all have to live in the same house? Required. Deal with it.


NICK CHASE - Nick is on the list because he is the baddest lawyer in the land. He kicks ass and takes names daily. Every posse needs an agent type that knows his way around the law. Nick is this guy. Nick is also a huge wrasslin fan who I personally have sat ringside with. He also attended Wrestlemania 19 with Weiser, Ivy and me. He is a natural leader that can lead the group to all the best deals as well as the best parties. Nick is the go getter that this crew needs. He probably won't join up because he is too busy fighting terrorism, or terrism as W calls it. Too bad, Nick would have fit in well.


SHANE T. KELLER -What would Shane bring to the table? Well, as you can see in the picture he is wearing what is possibly the ugliest thing a person can put on their body. He is a queen fan. I know, why the hell would I put a queen fan in my crew? Well, Shane is a good guy that just has a few flaws. Also every crew needs someone to make fun of. Being a queen fan would give us tons of material. But Shane would not just be the butt of many a joke, he is our hook up to the music business. He has worked in the industry for many years and has tons of connections. Let's say I decided one day that I needed a theme song. Shane could get on the blower and have that done by noon. Shane IS the music industry. So he all but makes up for the fact that he is a queen fan.



MITCH DAVIS - The third Canadian on the list Mitch makes it solely that he is my brother in law. Every Entourage needs some nepotism. Plus if we go to concerts and need ear protection he has the hook up. Tinitus he can help us with also. Nice job Mitch. Way to make the grade. Oh and most importantly, he is a Packer Fan. Mitch is the man.





Okay, there you have it, the front runners for my Entourage. I will note there were some others that had potential. And really, anyone could increase their value between now and when I actually put this thing together. Any one of them could step their game up and knock one of the top contenders out. On the same note the contenders need to keep their game up. No prevent defense here. Keep doing what you are doing. Here is the also rans....

Steve Iverson, Min Dhariwal, Greg Donnelly, Mike Chaussee, Uncle Rayman, Reg Rudolph, Steve Schoenrock, and last but not least, Jason Manning.

Okay, if you are on this list keep doing what you are doing. If you are not on this list and want to be, step it up. Send me a resume, a demo reel, and a list of references. We will see what you can do. Remember there are only 4 or five spots and lots of talent on this list. This is the whos who of TundraTalk.

I'd be interested to hear if you have lists of who you would put in your posse. I wonder how many of those lists I would make. I think I would do okay. Anyway, do not take this list personal, this is strictly business.

Now that I have that out of the way, GET BACK TO WORK!!!!!

So I got some responses, but not to many challenges...

SIGN ON THE vIQUEENS LOCKER ROOM DOOR

So I have had a few responses to my challenge, but no real challenges. Principe and I have a longstanding bet on this game so that is a done deal. Here is what he had to say...

You are just one big mean spirited cheese head..Vike-queens. You are on buddy..What's the spread because I know your football team full of boyfriends will be favored?. Give me the points and we are good to go. What's the bet?

Gene

I already told you about the bet Dahl and I have. Pilsner for Leinies. I can't wait. Nobody else really accepted the challenge. Nordic Woman, of the Gillet Nordic Clan, just sent me an email saying that she does not even read my emails any more during the NFL season. Well, she must read some of them because she read that one. That hurts Lisa, I thought we had a mutual respect for our hatred of each others teams. Can you believe that the Nordic Man and Woman live in the same house but love different teams? Crazy. Here is what she said....

Come football season I just delete the e-mails from you. It doesn't matter whether the vikes are good that year or not. I try hard to not dish it out to anyone cause I don't want to hear it from others either. Sorry! Will tune in Feb.

Lifelong Vikings fan!

I guess that you queens fans are not really confident in your team this year.

Reg Rudolph, of the Garrison Rudolphs, wants three touchdowns. What do I look stupid? Wait, don't answer that. Sorry Reg, the most I can give you is 10 points. The line on the freaking game is only 2 points. I believe that we agreed on Funyuns for Caffiene free Mountain Dew but cannont agree on terms. Here is what Reg had to say....

OK Smarty Pants Canadian, If your Packers are so damn good, you should be
more than happy to cover the three touchdowns. Come on be a loyal
supporter, you are talking so loudly about your cheeseheads I can barely
remember last years Packer record.

Cover the three TD's and if you win you can rub my face in it the rest of
the year. I think you are afraid you may not even win, typical Packer fan!
All flash and no substance.

It isn't good to start hedging so early in the betting negotiations, it
shows fear and weakness. Three touchdowns Pete or no deal.

PS: I will throw in some free hostfest tickets for any performance too!

Hostfest, been there done that, got the t-shirt. No thanks. Lutefisk and Lefse? Lefse yes, Lutefisk, NO! If the Pack win you better believe that I will rub it in your face. That is why we are here.

Now Shane Keller, of the Los Angeles Kellers, called me out but did not make a bet. Shane, always had a way with words, said this...

I'm glad to hear Shannon has found a lady who has better taste in Men than Football Teams. It's always a woman trying to come between a man and greatness. My wife (Yvonne) and I were having lunch last Wednesday and were talking about football and the Vikings genius plan to lose a couple games before the Packer match in a divine effort to fool the Packers and the entire NFL into drastically underestimating their ability. During the conversation Yvonne said, "I'm tired of losing! Why don't we just start watching the Packers?" The poor woman knows nothing about blind faith and the fact that conspiracy theories CAN COME TRUE! Now Yvonne is very lucky we live in America and not Nazi Germany, because I would have promptly called the Gestapo and reported her. But instead I politely excused myself from the table under the guise of having to use the restroom. I then walked to the front door of the restaurant, turned around and screamed, "Vikings rule, packers suck! I hope you brought your purse because the meal money is leaving with me!" Oh Etu Bruta, Etu.

Now a note for Shannon: Packer fans live in the past, riding the tailcoat of days gone by. Where as Viking fans still have the opportunity to look towards the future. To dream that Little dream and to experience the joy, nay, the euphoria when that little dream becomes reality . Packer fans are thinking dinosaurs while we Viking fans are thinking space travel baby!!!

Don't forget, your playing in the Dome bitch! Shane

Shane

P.S Favre rules! No one on the face of the planet can
deny that.

Okay, Shane, good story. Sell out your wife for the queens? I could maybe see someone do that for the Pack or even the Bears, but NEVER the queens. Hmmmmmmm, let me think, THREE SUPER BOWLS AND 12 WORLD CHAMPIONSHIPS against the hope or faith that you might win one in the future. Uhhhhhh, I think I will take the three trophies and the 12 world championships. You can have your 'little dream'. Just remember queenfan, there is always NEXT YEAR.

He did take the time to send me a joke also. Thanks Shane, and just to be fair and to show that I am an equal opportunity insulter, here is his joke...

Three football fans were on their way to a game when
one noticed a foot sticking out of the bushes by the
side of the road. They stopped and discovered a nude
female-dead. Out of respect and propriety, the Vikings
fan took off his cap and placed it over her right
breast. The Bears fan took off his cap and placed it
over her left breast. Following their lead, the
Packers fan took off his cap and placed it over her
crotch.

The police were called and when the officer arrived,
he conducted his inspection. First, he lifted up the
Vikings cap, replaced it and wrote down some notes.
Next, he lifted the Bears cap, replaced it and wrote
down some more notes.

The officer then lifted the Pakcers cap, replaced it,
then lifted it again, replaced it, lifted it a third
time, and replaced it one last time.

The Packer fan was getting upset and finally asked,
"What are you, a pervert or something? Why do you keep
lifting and looking, lifting and looking?

"Well," said the officer. "I am simply surprised;

normally when I look under a Packer hat, I find an
asshole."

Nick Chase also took time out of running down criminals for 'W' to ridicule me. Not sure what the hell he is talking about, but I, again in the spirit of equal time put his note here...

What’s this packer talk? You were always a Redskins fan. Remember, Mr. Bandwagon??? At least you jumped to a less racist bandwagon. The Packers won the Superbowl and you moved there for about 15 minutes and now you’re Vince Lombardi. What? Because you eat cheese and drink beer? Yeah, they don’t have that anywhere else. And if you ever move to New England, you’ll have Tom Brady’s baby.

What team are you going to follow in REGINA, Sask? You better get GPS for your car, because if memory serves from high school, you never could find your way around a Regina.

Keeping it real and keeping it street,

NC Justice

Nick is way too funny, if I could understand him.

Chad Weiser, of the Microsoft Weisers, also sent me a joke. No bet, but a joke. A joke does not provide me with any Funyuns....

Here ya go Chris Peterdaughter!


Q:Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, a dumb Packer fan, and a smart Packer fan are walking down the street when they spot a $10 bill. Who picks it up?


A:None of them. There is no such thing as Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy or a smart Packer fan and the dumb Packer fan thought it was a gum wrapper.

Now it is less than 24 hours til game time so I guess no one else will take the bait. Oh well, remember, no gloating if you did not call your shot. Whoooooooo!! Time to take the queens to school.