So I got some responses, but not to many challenges...

SIGN ON THE vIQUEENS LOCKER ROOM DOOR

So I have had a few responses to my challenge, but no real challenges. Principe and I have a longstanding bet on this game so that is a done deal. Here is what he had to say...

You are just one big mean spirited cheese head..Vike-queens. You are on buddy..What's the spread because I know your football team full of boyfriends will be favored?. Give me the points and we are good to go. What's the bet?

Gene

I already told you about the bet Dahl and I have. Pilsner for Leinies. I can't wait. Nobody else really accepted the challenge. Nordic Woman, of the Gillet Nordic Clan, just sent me an email saying that she does not even read my emails any more during the NFL season. Well, she must read some of them because she read that one. That hurts Lisa, I thought we had a mutual respect for our hatred of each others teams. Can you believe that the Nordic Man and Woman live in the same house but love different teams? Crazy. Here is what she said....

Come football season I just delete the e-mails from you. It doesn't matter whether the vikes are good that year or not. I try hard to not dish it out to anyone cause I don't want to hear it from others either. Sorry! Will tune in Feb.

Lifelong Vikings fan!

I guess that you queens fans are not really confident in your team this year.

Reg Rudolph, of the Garrison Rudolphs, wants three touchdowns. What do I look stupid? Wait, don't answer that. Sorry Reg, the most I can give you is 10 points. The line on the freaking game is only 2 points. I believe that we agreed on Funyuns for Caffiene free Mountain Dew but cannont agree on terms. Here is what Reg had to say....

OK Smarty Pants Canadian, If your Packers are so damn good, you should be
more than happy to cover the three touchdowns. Come on be a loyal
supporter, you are talking so loudly about your cheeseheads I can barely
remember last years Packer record.

Cover the three TD's and if you win you can rub my face in it the rest of
the year. I think you are afraid you may not even win, typical Packer fan!
All flash and no substance.

It isn't good to start hedging so early in the betting negotiations, it
shows fear and weakness. Three touchdowns Pete or no deal.

PS: I will throw in some free hostfest tickets for any performance too!

Hostfest, been there done that, got the t-shirt. No thanks. Lutefisk and Lefse? Lefse yes, Lutefisk, NO! If the Pack win you better believe that I will rub it in your face. That is why we are here.

Now Shane Keller, of the Los Angeles Kellers, called me out but did not make a bet. Shane, always had a way with words, said this...

I'm glad to hear Shannon has found a lady who has better taste in Men than Football Teams. It's always a woman trying to come between a man and greatness. My wife (Yvonne) and I were having lunch last Wednesday and were talking about football and the Vikings genius plan to lose a couple games before the Packer match in a divine effort to fool the Packers and the entire NFL into drastically underestimating their ability. During the conversation Yvonne said, "I'm tired of losing! Why don't we just start watching the Packers?" The poor woman knows nothing about blind faith and the fact that conspiracy theories CAN COME TRUE! Now Yvonne is very lucky we live in America and not Nazi Germany, because I would have promptly called the Gestapo and reported her. But instead I politely excused myself from the table under the guise of having to use the restroom. I then walked to the front door of the restaurant, turned around and screamed, "Vikings rule, packers suck! I hope you brought your purse because the meal money is leaving with me!" Oh Etu Bruta, Etu.

Now a note for Shannon: Packer fans live in the past, riding the tailcoat of days gone by. Where as Viking fans still have the opportunity to look towards the future. To dream that Little dream and to experience the joy, nay, the euphoria when that little dream becomes reality . Packer fans are thinking dinosaurs while we Viking fans are thinking space travel baby!!!

Don't forget, your playing in the Dome bitch! Shane

Shane

P.S Favre rules! No one on the face of the planet can
deny that.

Okay, Shane, good story. Sell out your wife for the queens? I could maybe see someone do that for the Pack or even the Bears, but NEVER the queens. Hmmmmmmm, let me think, THREE SUPER BOWLS AND 12 WORLD CHAMPIONSHIPS against the hope or faith that you might win one in the future. Uhhhhhh, I think I will take the three trophies and the 12 world championships. You can have your 'little dream'. Just remember queenfan, there is always NEXT YEAR.

He did take the time to send me a joke also. Thanks Shane, and just to be fair and to show that I am an equal opportunity insulter, here is his joke...

Three football fans were on their way to a game when
one noticed a foot sticking out of the bushes by the
side of the road. They stopped and discovered a nude
female-dead. Out of respect and propriety, the Vikings
fan took off his cap and placed it over her right
breast. The Bears fan took off his cap and placed it
over her left breast. Following their lead, the
Packers fan took off his cap and placed it over her
crotch.

The police were called and when the officer arrived,
he conducted his inspection. First, he lifted up the
Vikings cap, replaced it and wrote down some notes.
Next, he lifted the Bears cap, replaced it and wrote
down some more notes.

The officer then lifted the Pakcers cap, replaced it,
then lifted it again, replaced it, lifted it a third
time, and replaced it one last time.

The Packer fan was getting upset and finally asked,
"What are you, a pervert or something? Why do you keep
lifting and looking, lifting and looking?

"Well," said the officer. "I am simply surprised;

normally when I look under a Packer hat, I find an
asshole."

Nick Chase also took time out of running down criminals for 'W' to ridicule me. Not sure what the hell he is talking about, but I, again in the spirit of equal time put his note here...

What’s this packer talk? You were always a Redskins fan. Remember, Mr. Bandwagon??? At least you jumped to a less racist bandwagon. The Packers won the Superbowl and you moved there for about 15 minutes and now you’re Vince Lombardi. What? Because you eat cheese and drink beer? Yeah, they don’t have that anywhere else. And if you ever move to New England, you’ll have Tom Brady’s baby.

What team are you going to follow in REGINA, Sask? You better get GPS for your car, because if memory serves from high school, you never could find your way around a Regina.

Keeping it real and keeping it street,

NC Justice

Nick is way too funny, if I could understand him.

Chad Weiser, of the Microsoft Weisers, also sent me a joke. No bet, but a joke. A joke does not provide me with any Funyuns....

Here ya go Chris Peterdaughter!


Q:Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, a dumb Packer fan, and a smart Packer fan are walking down the street when they spot a $10 bill. Who picks it up?


A:None of them. There is no such thing as Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy or a smart Packer fan and the dumb Packer fan thought it was a gum wrapper.

Now it is less than 24 hours til game time so I guess no one else will take the bait. Oh well, remember, no gloating if you did not call your shot. Whoooooooo!! Time to take the queens to school.

Hey queen fan. Where are ya?

Hey, the Nation hit the site hard yesterday to the tune of over 80 hits. Now, I am not going to kid myself and say that only fans of the Pack were here yesterday. I know that you queenfan were here. So why have I not recieved any hate mail from you. Are you scared? Do you know what the rest of us, and the rest of the NFL know? That the team from Minnesucka cannot beat their practice squad let alone the Pack? Come on. I mean you no harm. I just want to stock up on Leinies and Funyuns. Bring it!!!!

Shannon Just, of the freewheelin' Justs, sent me a note as I write this. He has finally made the best decision in his life. Shannon, take it away...

Hey Chris,

I haven't been too connected to sports in general for a bit. Only because I stopped watching TV for sanity reasons a few years back. But I am sure you will be happy to know I have met a woman from Wisconsin. She is a life-long Packers fan and I have vowed to watch the game with her. I assure you I will not side with the Vikes to create tension or for any other reason. I have always leaned toward the Packers but now I have even more incentive to cheer for them. Thought you should know. Congratulations on your move! Best to you and your family!

Be Well, Shannon

Congrats Shannon. I always knew you would make the right choice. As Brett Favre throws for his record breaking TD this weekend I will smile and know four (four get it?) things. Number 4 is the greatest of all time, Shannon Just is happy, I am going to win a lot of stuff, and an Angel just got it's wings. Enjoy the game Shannon, I know I will. Oh and good luck with that tension, that in my experience it the toughest to avoid.

So just so you know. There will be no gloating if by chance, God forbid, a freak accident happens to Favre and he hurts his hand and can not play. Leading to a queen win (not gonna happen). YOU CAN NOT GLOAT IF YOU DO NOT CALL YOUR SHOT BEFORE THE GAME. So do not send me any kind of any message unless you call your shot. Simple rules, they have to be simple so queenfan can understand it.

I will leave you with a joke, once again from Packer Palace dot Com.


Three NFL football coaches on vacation were set to face a firing squad in a small Northern South American country. The first coach, Mike, a Green Bay Packer was placed against the wall and just before the order was given he yelled out, "Earthquake!" The firing squad fell into a panic and Mike jumped over the wall and escaped in the confusion.

The second coach, Lovie, a Chicago Bear was placed against the wall. The squad was reassembled and Lovie pondered what he had just witnessed. Again before the order was given Lovie yelled out "Tornado!". Again the squad fell apart and he was able to slip over the wall.

The last person, an alleged Viking coach, Brad, was placed against the wall. He was thinking "I see the pattern here, just scream out something about a disaster and hop over the wall." He confidently refused the blindfold as the firing squad was reassembled.

As the rifles were raised in his direction Brad grinned from ear to ear and yelled... "Fire!"

Packers vs DomeQueens...Who wants some?

Okay, just wanted to drop you all a note. Especially those who claim to be loyal to Barney's team. Grown men wearing purple and stupid braids. At least cheese has a function. Braids, the only function in that is to prove that you are very effeminate.

As Hamish, I believe it was, in Braveheart said to William "Where ya goin'" and Wallace said back "Ahm goin ta pick ah fight". Well that is what I am doing today. Pick a fight. As you all know, the Packers are 3-0 and on their way to glory. They are of course led by the greatest QB of all time, Number 4, Brett Favre. He is on a mission this year to win at all costs. Name a record and he owns it. Even most interceptions. They of course are headed to the baggie dome this weekend to teach the DomeQueens a lesson or two. For instance what a real QB looks like, what a winning organization looks like, and for most of the queens what a Super Bowl ring looks like.

I was at Costco last night and some idiot in a pickup truck drove by and yelled "Go Vikings". Well we all know he is an idiot because of what he said. I was flying the colors, as I do everyday, and he just felt so compelled to come up to me and run his mouth. That is just like a queen fan. A Packer fan will not run his mouth unless he is provoked. We know we are great, we do not have to tell everyone about it, it just shows. So I was forced to tell him good luck, because he really is going to need it this weekend. Number 4 is going to destroy the ChokeKings D. You know what it is queen fan? To quote a great man, Sean Elliot of the Madison Elliots, "You just hate us, because you ain't us." Word up.

Okay here comes the fight. Scott Dahl, of the Minneapple Dahls, sent me a note last night. Not your normal note that says "Hey how ya doin'? How's the kids?" Nah, he had his back up and was a bit defensive. He wanted to bet me on the game this weekend. Now, I do not need to bet to show my loyalty to my team. I bleed Green And Gold. I know Mike Chaussee, of the Bismark Chaussee's, and Mitch Davis, of the Regina Davis', feels the same way. But, if you are going to come at me, and if you want some come and get some.

I do not know what my problem is, but I know way to many people who like the purple stupid team. Dahl, Rudolph, Keller, Ivy, Principe, Ellingson, Nordic Man's lovely wife (this must be her only fault, well, unless you count her taste in men), Weiser, Toby Peterson (ex Oiler FW)... The list goes on and on. At least you can respect a fan of, say, the Cowboys because they have a trophy or two, or maybe a Steeler fan. Maybe. But never a Queen fan. They got nothing except a few boat trips and an ugly stadium that their owner can't seem to bribe their way out of. Reg Rudolph, of the Garrison Rudolph's, even took the time to call me out the other day.

On the NFL front I believe you are taking some serious latitude with the Packers. I am willing to put a wager on your Packer prediction, albeit as a life long Viking fan I think Brand Childress is a moron and Tavaris Jackson is a lessor quality Duante Culpepper without a Randy Moss to bomb it to. Just imagine my opinion if I wasn't a Vikings fan.

He then took the time to insult my wife, my taste in music, and even said he would kick my dog if he were near it. Well Mr. Rudolph it is, as they say, ON.


So here is the deal, if you are a Queen fan and you want some, send me an email, let me know what you think (I know that thinking let alone typing, is tough for you purple fans), and make your wager. As I told the Dahl kid, lets not get crazy, just make the wager. I told Dahl I would wager some fine pilsner. WHEN I win, I get some Leinie's and if he wins (never happen) I get him some fine Molson Canadian or Sask's own Pilsner. We of course will not see each other for a while, but when we do, I have that card I can play. Or I can play it anytime I want here on TundraTalk. Dahl is always talking about a skate someday. Well Mr. Dahl, you better keep your head up coming accross the middle.

I will be willing to wager for bags of Funyuns, Dakota Kid Seeds, or boxes of Peanut Butter Cap'n Crunch. I am already counting on a 24 of Leinies from Scott. Principe usually wagers a meal of some sort, so I am sure the next time I am in E-Town I will have lunch on Gene. I once bet Gene on the game and he lost. His punishment, he had to wear a cheeshead on the air while he did his sports. That was some of his finest broadcasting. I know that without the cheesehead you can't really trust what he was saying, but with it, instant credibility.

Don't sing it, Bring it. come on queen fan, lets hear ya. Oh and if you want to wager with Chaussee or Davis, let them know and I am sure they will be happy to take your stuff.

Yeah that's what I thought.

Many thanks to Packer Palace dot Com for the great logos for the queens.

Torres on the Daily Show

Cory Blashill, of the E town Blashill's, called me today and told me to look up this YouTube video of Raffi Torres on the Daily Show. Raffi is an Oiler who is of Mexican decent. Thus the story by Dan Bakkadal from the Daily Show. This is funny. The Daily Show is usually funny, but this is gut laughter here. Nothing better in the world than a good gut laugh, except maybe a gut bomb.

Nice looking out Cory, you are still the best Executive Producer this show has ever had.

New video for you to laugh at and a good article to take home and share with your spouse...

Ned the Dead promos from hamiltongbp on Vimeo.



Okay, now that I am back I want to share a few things with you. Before I gave up the Beta deck for my last job I took the time to dig through some old video stuff that I have done in the past. I found a few jems that I thought I had lost. The first one I want to share with you is one that my good friend, and Nation member, Marty Frey (of the Hollyweird Frey's), is the mastermind of. This was a promo that we did in Green Bay for WGBA. Back when GBA was still a bit watchable. From what I hear now it is unbearable to watch. Anyway. There was this show called Ned the Dead. It aired late on Saturday nights on UPN 32, GBA's sister station. Basically the premise was that Ned would watch really bad scary movies and comment on them leading out and into the commercials. Not really a bad show. Ned was funny and likeable enough. Plus he was kind of a local celebrity.

True story. One day I was at Copps or Piggly Wiggly, I can't remember. We'll go with Piggly Wiggly because I like saying it. Everyone say it together, PIGGLY WIGGLY. Now if you can't go and have a good day after that you ARE screwed up. Another good word to say to make you giggle is SHEBOYGAN. I love saying Sheboygan. Oh, sorry, kinda got off on a tangent. So there I was in Piggly Wiggly (giggle) in the beer, bratwurst, or Funyun aisle and I look over and see this dude with funny makeup on. Low and behold there he was Ned the Dead. I am not sure if he was on the way to the studio or what but he there he was wearing all his goofy makeup in the grocery store. I like to think that he was a bit goofy and did not want to give up who is real persona was and wore the makeup all the time. But, he was probably just on his way to the studio. Anyway, funny story.

So Marty came up with this idea for a promo for the show based on the Blair Witch movie which had just come out. Marty, being the innovator and a television visionary, decided he wanted to cast me in the commercial. Pure genious if you ask me. I play the guy in the movie who loses the map. I totally rocked the part.

Marty also wanting to add some pyrotechnics to his production took us out to his sisters(?) place, a cop, where they had this big burn pile. Marty wanted it to just explode when we lit it so it would be more dramatic. Cool, fire. So what do the pyromaniacs do to make it explode? We decide to pour about 10 gallons of gas on it. Oh gas was only around 90cents per gallon back then. Man those were the days. Stupid oil companies. So after we have dumped all this gas on the pile we get ready to light it. It has been sitting for about five minutes. As you may or may not know, gas fumes float on the ground and spread outwards. Wait for it...

Ned is ready to shoot and Marty hands me the matches. Marty is not always a mental giant. So I run over right next to the pile and flame on. Whoooooomph. Flames, and I mean huge flames. Not only up, but about 5 feet behind me and under me. I think Marty said he has never seen 'the big man' move that fast ever. And he never will again.

So we got the shot, no one was sent to the burn centre and it looked good. I believe that Shawn Hauser, of the Green Bay Hausers, was also there. I hope you enjoy these ads. There are two short similar ones and an extended longer one. The longer one has some of my best acting EVER.



NEXT: This is an article from Good Housekeeping from 1955. Someone sent this one to us. I usually don't read forwarded messages but I gave this one a shot. It is basically a 'How To' guide to keep your husband happy in the fifties. Ladies pay attention. I am basically a pretty progressive guy, but in this case I think there is a lot to learn here. You ladies need to read and take this to heart. After all, a happy husband is a happy house. I just made that up. Pretty good. I should write greeting cards. To be able to read the article just click on it.

The lines I like are "Catering to his every need will give you immense personal satisfaction". Yup, true that. "Show sincerity in your desire to please him." Uh, yeah, what else is there except your desire to please? "Remember his topics of conversation are more important than yours." Yes, this is true, because what is more important that discussing the Green Bay Packers and their drive to a fourth Super Bowl Championship? Really. Last, but certainly not least, "A good wife always knows here place." Word up.

As I was showing this to Donna and she is utterly appalled at the suggestions, she noted that since I do not have a job and I am staying home to take care of the kids while SHE works, that maybe I should take notes and be a bit more supportive.

Oh, yeah. Wait, this kind of backfired on me. Man, I need to think things thru a bit more. I guess I am way to progressive to ever think this is cool.

NEVERMIND

By the way, I have a job interview on Tuesday. Wish me luck.

SAY IT WITH ME - SHEBOYGAN!!!!!

Welcome Back Nation!!!

Okay, so it has been awhile since I last gave you guys a shout out. Sorry, just a bit busy. You know, boxes, looking for a job and stuff. We are finally just about settled in here in Regina. I would say about 95 percent of the boxes are empty. The five percent still not empty being the boxes of books that we have no place to put because the movers demolished our book shelf. Yup, it was that kind of move. What else did they break you ask? Well I will tell you. They managed to damage my fish. You know the one, the 35 pound lake trout that was caught in 1979. The bent the hell out of the fins and broke one almost clean off. Nice

They also managed to put some big divits in the kitchen lineoleum when they brought the fridge in. That is okay because that means we get new kitchen lino. Oh and they broke one of our chairs. Awesome.

So that all went okay I guess. It is nice to be settled in in our new home. It is a bit bigger and has a few nicer amenities. It is all good.

So what else has happened since we last met here. Well, McKenna had her first day of school. She was quite excited. She gets to ride the bus to school. So you will not see me sitting in my car outside the school blocking traffic like so many parents I complained about in Edmonton. Man that drove me crazy. She loves school and her teacher. Apparently the school she goes to is the best in the city so that makes us happy.

What makes me even happier is Last night we were at my kids school for Pizza open house night at McNeill school. Crappy pizza, screaming kids, nice school, great teachers, you know all that stuff.

As we were leaving I saw this dude with Rider sweats gear on which is not uncommon to see in this town. Everyone has Rider gear. I looked closer to the guy and bingo, Kent Austin. Grey Cup Champion and current head coach of the Riders. His kids go to the same school as mine. Sweeet. He was outside throwing a ball around to the kids. He threw one and said to the kid "don't go to far I am an old guy" Then he threw a perfect spiral and hit the kid right in the numbers, the kid of course dropped it. I said "Looks pretty good to me." He laughed and said thanks. I so wanted to run over and push the kid down and have him throw me a pass. I sure as hell would not drop it. Stupid kid.

It is all good that we are here. Dakota had her first birthday party three days after we got here. She was surrounded by her cousins and family. It was all good. McKenna has been able to spend a lot of time with her cousins also. It is really nice to be close to family.


Anyway I am looking for work anywhwere and everywhere. I had a gig on last Monday at the CCMA's here in Regina. The Canadian Country Music Awards. I was a TVA, or Television Assistant. Which basically means bust your ass all day long doing whatever they ask you to. $220 bucks for 16 hours of work. Long ass day. The music was okay for the most part. With the exceptions here and there. The odd pick up and beer song mixed in with the my girl left me song. If you remember, Nation member, James Grandy, of the MinneApple Grandy's won a CCMA for writing with the singer Brad Johner.

Anyway, at the CCMA's I had the opportunity to talk with Dog the Bounty Hunter. That's right THE DOG. Way cool. Now I know you want to see my brush with greatness pic with the Dog, but me since I have not worked for about a month I forgot my routine. Which includes loading my camera with me. Bonehead. So I don't have the pic, just the memory. I suck. I can tell you one thing, just like Reggie White, he is not in charge in that family. Mrs. Dog is totally in charge. He did not do anything with out looking in Mrs. Dog's direction. Yes, he did have those crazy silver tipped boots and his shirt undone with gold chains on. I saw him in three different outfits throughout the day. Mrs. Dog also HAS to have major back problems, if you know what I mean. Dog is way cool though.

I was a TVA to the guy who ran the jib camera. That is the jib that crane like thing that is in front of the stage to the left. Oh and that is Shane Yellowbird singing about his truck in the picture. Nice. There were a couple of Riders there also. Cool to see those guys out and about representing.


NEXT: Now lets talk about the best thing that has happened lately. PACKER SEASON Whoooooooooo!!!!! Now we go to school Gordon, now we go to school. The Packers are 2-0 and on their way to a Super Bowl. You better believe that if Number 4 leads these boys to the Super Bowl I am going to be there. The Super Bowl is in Phoenix this year and I just happen to know a couple of people who live there, MY PARENTS, so I have a place to stay. Mitch Davis, of the Regina Davis', has already said he is in. Anyone else out there in the Nation wants to go, lets get it done.

First place in the NFC North, gettin 'er done. Favre looked great on Sunday, the Defense is the D I wish we would have had about 5 years ago when the offense was awesome, but the d sucked. Bring on the Chargers. They have not looked good this year but it is going to be a tough game. Packers going to the Super Bowl Baby. Book it!!!

Hey Queen fans, how does this taste? The best thing about it is no one gave the Pack a chance to win 5 games this year. Well, we already have two, it is about to happen. The Lions are getting a bit cocky but the Lions will always be the Lions and they will never be contenders. The Bears Still Suck and the Queens well are Queens. Look out Phoenix here we come.

What about that Bellicheat thing. Man did they get off easy. Suspend the guy and take away picks. As far as I am concerned their Super Bowls have an asterisk. Not sure if I can believe that they did it legit. Plus even after he was busted he acted like he did nothing wrong. No remorse, nothing. He cheated, and he got caught but did not want to make it right. In fact he just blew it off. Kinda sad. It also sends the wrong message to kids and coaches in the lower ranks that it is okay to cheat. I mean really what would you rather have? Three Super Bowl trophies or that one lousy first round pick? I would take the trophies in second. He should have paid a bigger price. Cheater.

I will leave you with this joke, Ivy, of the Moorehead Ivy's, sent it to me. Enjoy.....

This guy walks into a bar wearing a VIKING jersey and carrying a little dog that also has a VIKING jersey on with a little VIKING helmet too. The guy says to the bartender, 'Can my dog and I watch the VIKINGS game here? My TV at home broke and my dog and I want to see the game.' The bartender replies, 'normally, dogs in the bar would not be allowed, but it is not terribly busy in here, so you and the dog can have a seat at the end of the bar. But, if there is any trouble with you or the dog, I'll have to ask you to leave.' The guy agrees and he and his dog start watching the game. Pretty soon the VIKINGS kick a field goal and the little dog jumps on the bar and walks down the bar and gives everyone a high five. The bartender says, 'Hey, that's cool! What does he do for a touch down?' The guy answers, 'I don't know, I've only had him for 3 years.'