The Stanley Cup Playoffs are here. Here are my picks, call your bookie.

It is that time of year again. The time of year when multi-millionaires skate around on artificial ice and wow us with their skill of pushing a circular vulcanized rubber object into a net. Yup I am geeked. It is also the time of year when I put on my prediction cap and let all of you know just who is gonna win this dog and pony show. Time for you to call your bookie and make yourself some mortgage money.

Oh, how can I forget, it is also my favorite time of the hockey season when Gary Bettman gets his ass booed at centre ice. I absolutely love that. I also get to root against satans team, the Detroit Red Wings. I hear that Brent Favre is considering a playoff run with them this year. Only appropriate, the biggest douchebag on the planet playing for Douchebagtown USA.



This years playoffs are a bit more interesting. There are 4 new teams in it this year. The Godless Flames are not there, NICE. The Oil are not also. The Kings, Coyotes, Avs, and Sabres are in this year. As you all know, I only missed one series last year in the first round, and the year before I got them all right. How am I gonna do this year? Only time will tell. I do know that former Gambler and always Stanley Cup runner up, Ty Conklin is not in the playoffs this year so I will not have to deal with that mojo. Former Gambler Matt Greene is though so I do have to deal with that. Okay, lets get this party started...

WESTERN CONFERENCE

San Jose Sharks (1) vs Colorado Avalanche (8)

Here is the deal, I love the Avs. I am down with them forever. The Sharks are perennial regular season juggernauts and post season choke jobs. My homeboy, TONY FREAKING GRANATO was the coach of the Avs last year. I am not really happy with how they did him when they let him go. Tony is now working with the current Stanley Cup Champions the Pittsburgh Penguins. Tony laces them up with Sidney Crosby every day. Not a bad fall back. Think about that. Tony has played with the Great One, Coached Burnaby Joe Sakic, and is now working with Sid the Kid. Awesome. Normally I would express some anger with the Avalanche and how they fired Tony, but since Tony is doing alright and the team had a great year, I will be the typical fan and let it slide. With that said, I will take the upset, Avalanche in 6.

Chicago Blackhawks (2) vs Nashville Predators (7)

It is so good to see the Blackhawks back in form. I love to hear the noise in their barn in the playoffs. The National Anthem is an amazing spectacle at the United Centre. Of course if you listen to the Podcast that does not suck, TundraTalk, you would know that. Don Granato and Tony Granato have detailed that extensively. I spoke to Don recently and he gave me his assessment of the Hawks playoffs. He says that they are not deep enough in goal to win it all but will have some success in the early rounds because of their depth elsewhere. There you have it.

The Hawks have the Nash Vegas Predators. I guess I really did not know that they still played hockey in Nash Vegas. We all know that they should not still be there, so screw 'em. Never root for a southern based team. Gary Bettman can go get bent. Blackhawks in 5.

Vancouver Canucks (3) vs Los Angeles Kings (6)

Now here is where I contradict my self and become the ultimate hypocrite. I just got done saying that we never root for a southern team. Just to spite Bettman. He is a tool. I guess LA would be the exception to the rule. The only exception. After all Marcel Dionne played for LA. Wayne Gretzky played for LA. TONY FREAKING GRANATO played for LA. I saw my first NHL game at the Forum back in 1981. That's right, I said it, the Forum. Back when they still had those goofy purple and yellow jerseys. Check the price and the location of the seats. No way you get into Staples for 14 dollars now.

Flash forward to now. Matt Greene is on LA. TT vetran Jarret Stoll is on LA. Ryan Smyth, of the Ugly Jacket Smyth's, is on LA. How can I not root for this team. A Gambler, a TT legend, and the guy who got my blog 600 hits in three hours. Plus the Canuckleheads always choke. They suck. LA in 7.

Phoenix Coyotes (4) vs Godless Detroit Red Wings (5)

Now here is a tough one. The Phoenix Coyotes are the example for the rule as to why NOT to root for southern teams. Bettman has a guy, the owner of the Blackberry empire, who wants to buy the team. Wants to give him more than what it is worth, but wants to move it to Winnipeg or Hamilton. Bettman gives a lame ass speech that he does not run out on the fans of NHL teams. FU bettman, you run THIS F'N TEAM out on the fans of WINNIPEG. I hate Bettman. I also hate Detroit. Detroit sucks balls. Their goaltending is suspect and they wear those stupid red jerseys. They will however get past the flash in the pan Phoenix Coyotes. Preacherman and Doroshenko get their way. Again like last year, I hate myself, Detroit in 5.

EASTERN CONFERENCE

Washington Capitals (1) vs Montreal Canadiens (8)

Alexander the great versus Montreal. Hmmm this is tough. Caps in 4.

New Jersey (2) vs Philadelphia Flyers (7)

Not a big fan of the Devils and Martin Brodeur. I am still pissed that he did not continue in net for Canada at the olympics. He really should have been the guy for Canada. This series presents some difficulties also. For the Flyers everyone's favorite dirty player, Chris Pronger, is playing. Not a fan. But Ian Laperierre is also playing for the Flyers, he is cool. Former Av and a guy who used to bust my balls back in Edmonton every time they came through. This one is gonna be a barnburner. I like Philly in 7.

Buffalo Sabres (3) vs Boston Bruins (6)

Randy Hawke, of the Madison Hawkes, is a HUGE Sabre fan. HUGE. They have been playing well of late and the Bruins had to fight just to get in the playoffs, so I am going to take the Sabres in 7. You are welcome Hawke.

Pittsburgh Penguins (4) vs Ottawa Senators (5)

This one is easy. Ottawa just has not gotten over the Ty Conklin jinx of a few years back. They have had one problem after another. The Penguins have not been playing well down the stretch, BUT Sid the Kid is coming off his Golden Goal from the Olympics (dick) and he always seems to step it up when he needs to. Preacherman has a man crush on this guy. I will take the Penguins in 5.

There you have it, my predictions on the NHL Stanley Cup Playoffs. Take it to the bank. But as you know, any losses you have based on my predictions are all on you. I take no responsibility on your lack of picking prowess. If you lose, YOU LOSE. Not me.

Now, have a great day and
GET BACK TO WORK

Preacherman sent his picks in and as usual they are wrong...

Western

Sharks vs. Avs
Avs in 6, are you kidding me!??!?! With players like Marleau, Ortmeyer, Thorton, and Blake the Sharks won’t have much problem with the sucky Avs. Oh yeah, I forgot one thing, Joe Pavelski. He is the best player I’ve seen come through the USHL and he should have won the Hobey Baker when he was at UW. When it is all said and done, Pavelski will be the greatest power forward ever to play the game. Sharks in 5.

Blackhawks vs. Predlies
I agree. It is great to see the Blackhawks doing good again. I have been to the United CentER and heard the National Anthem, very cool. I can only imagine what it’s like during the playoffs. The Blackhawks have way too much talent for Nashville to handle. Mr. Everything, Jonathan Toews, will have an unforgettable playoffs. Blackhawks in 4.

Vancooter vs. LA
Not really sold on either of these teams. I guess I’m leaning towards Vancooter because of the Sedin sisters and Yan Stastny. Vancooter in 6.

Phoenix vs Detroit.
How the hell can you play hockey in a desert!?!? Even though my Wings aren’t too good this year … 16 games until my Redwings win the Stanley Cup!

Eastern

Washington vs Canadians
They just might call this one after three games. Washington is WAY too much for the Habs to handle.

Devils vs Flyers
I am a Brodeur fan and he should have been in net for Team Canada. This is going to be a chippy, dirty series. I hate the Flyers and Bob Clarke. Flyers are just talentless punks. Devils in 5.

SabERS vs Bruins
I haven’t seen much of either of these teams this year. But I know if Tim Thomas was in net for the Olympics, USA would have won the gold. But still have a bad taste in my mouth with the Bruins because of the traitor Phil Kessel. Once again Sabers in 6 just for you Hawke.

Pittsburgh vs Oh Ottawa
This is one awesome series!!! Where do I begin? Is there anything Crosby can’t do??? Youngest to ever wear the C and hoist the Cup. He is the closest to perfection we’ll ever see. Malkin will lead the playoffs in goals. But it won’t be that easy, Pittsburgh is going to run into a roadblock named Chris Phillips, Anton Volchenkov, and Brian Elliot. Spezza will be great like always. Game on!!! Pittsburgh in 7

Mike Banaszynski

It is so hard being right all the time. Wait, no it's not. Oh and Weiser's Podcast is up and on the air...

Yes, it is hard to be humble. I called it. I told you what would happen, and it happened. Some might call that having ESP, most TV networks might call me up and base a prime time show on me. I just am that good.

The Stanley Cup went to the Pittsburgh Penguins in seven games. If you would like to confirm that I was right, just click here. It was a great final game that was a nail biter from end to end. I am usually very critical of Detroit fans because they hardly ever get to the game on time, or back to their seats for the beginning of the period but I will give them credit for staying through the trophy ceremony and actually clapping for the Penguins. I will also give them credit for booing the shit out of Bettman. I love that. It happens every year and it is worth the wait every year. Bettman is a tool.

I want Ty Conklin's name on the cup really bad, but he just was on the wrong team. If you look at recent history, he has been on the wrong team of late. He was in Edmonton when they lost in seven games to the Carolina Hurricanes. He was also in Ottowa when they lost the cup. He was on the Pittsburgh Penguins last year when they lost to the Wings. I think it is safe to say at this point that if Ty is on your team you will get to the final but winning it is probably not in the cards. In the USHL Ty won back to back championships for the Green Bay Gamblers so he is not a jinx by any means but he did lose the NCAA Frozen Four with the New Hampshire Bears and the Calder Cup (game 7) with the Hamilton Bulldogs. Not sure what to do with all that math.

Let me tell you a story. There is a guy I know named Preacherman. He is a guy from Pulaski Wisconsin. He likes hockey. He also likes the Godless Detroit Red Wings. As he has always done, he will call me or text me after the Red Wings win against the Avs. During this final he took time out of his 'busy' schedule to text me immediately after EVERY game in this series. Of course these texts were not of a complimentary nature. Most of them were very braggadocio. Nice word huh? Yeah, I am kind of a big deal. Anyway, he would most of the time tell me how many games the Red Wings had won. I would always tell him that it takes 4 to win the Cup. He was counting his chickens so to say, which we all know, especially in hockey, a person should not do.

Well, Preacherman has something to say to all of you out there in TundraTalk Nation...

Dear TundraTalk Nation,

I still sit here brokenhearted. When parents say they love their kids equally in their own way, THEY ARE LYING! Every parent has their fav kid. My favorite "kid", the Detroit Red Wings, decided only to show up to a couple of the the Stanley Cup finals games. And it showed by bowing out to my other kid, Sid the kid, and the Pittsburgh Penguins in seven games (as Sign Boy perdicted once again). Chris is getting almost as good with his picks as the stinking genious Arnie Spanier.

As I sat there watching game seven in my Joey Kocur sweater (and Crosby sweatsuit underneath) I realized how much they need Darren McCarty and Chelli out there. The Wings were trying to be too pretty, they need to play that tough game that brought them the past 4 cups. They don't have the skill that they had in '02 (thank God for Brett Hull!) They got ran over, out played, out everything by the Pens. And it does seem like Ty Conkiln is a Stanley Cup curse, even though it pains me to say that. My heart did stop for a little while when Sidney got hurt, but it's all good now.

Mario finally passed the torch to Sid, it's now his league. It was awesome seeing Mario with the cup again. PLEASE Mario, just one more shift. You, Sid, and Malkin.

Preacherman

Well Preacherman, it takes a strong man to admit he was wrong, and boy you were wrong, so I congratulate you on your admitting wrongness. You root for a crappy hockey team and you are not ashamed to admit it. If only you could be as bold about your Lions. Man they suck.

I would like to also at this point say I offered space to Trev Doroshenko to apologize to you, but he would not. He has too much pride (ego) to admit when he is wrong. Oh and he IS WRONG.

NEXT: I had the opportunity to conduct my interview with OG Posse Member Chad Weiser, of the Seattle Weisers, this week. Chad took time out of his 'big city' schedule to make his case for being part of the most elite posse this side of the Mississippi. We are on this side of the Mississippi aren't we?

Anyway, Chad (that is him as Bob McKenzie on the left in the black and white pic) brought the noise and made a strong case for inclusion. He took Marty Frey's smak and handed it right back, he set the record straight on the War Hero in the car wash incident, and did quite well on his movie quotes. CLICK HERE to listen to the podcast or just click the link at the top right of the page. You know TundraTalk is the Podcast that does not suck.

Next up on the Podcast that never ends is Shawn Hauser of the Green Bay Hausers. He will round up our interview process and send the wheels in motion to selection. Unless, Tony Mutzenberger makes a late apperance. Which would be nice.

How will the selection happen you ask? Well let me tell ya. It, of course, will be long and drawn out. I will be selection 5 guys for the posse, PLUS two alternates. The alternates will not have the honor of being in the actual posse BUT will be called upon at a moments notice to fill in for a 'first team' memeber if he cannot fulfill his duties at any time.

On the first selection post I will name the two fellas who rose up to be apart of the the alternate crew. Then I will post once a day until we have the whole crew named. I know, the tension is thick and you cannot hardly wait, but it will be worth it.

Now, Have a great Monday, and GET BACK TO WORK!!!

Breaking News, TT Nation member now employs Jake Plummer...

That's right, you heard it here almost first. Jake Plummer now is an assistant coach for the Sandpoint Bulldogs. He works with TundraTalk Nation member John Trana, of the Sandpoint Trana's. As you can see Plummer's former employers include the Denver Broncos and the Arizona Cardinals.

Rumours say that Jake accepted much less than the 13 million that Tampa had offered him. When reached for comment earlier this evening Coach Trana had a lot to say. He is optimistic that Jakes competitive nature will rub off on his team and lead them to the promised land.
TundraTalk caught up with coach Trana and he gave us this EXCLUSIVE interview about the recent aquisition..

TundraTalk: Is Jake Plummer moving to Sandpoint?

JOHN TRANA: Jake moved here after he retired and his brother is the sports editor for the local daily B. He also grew up in Boise area.

TT: How did this happen? Who approached him?

JT: When I coached in the Triumphant sports bowl his brother interviewed me and off the record I mentioned that we would be interested in him (Eric) or his brother Jake to coach on our team at any compacity.

TT: What number will he be wearing?

JT: Coaches don't get numbers but he does get to get yelled at from the fans who think we made the wrong call.

TT: Was the contract negotiations difficult or easy?

JT: Jake is a low key guy. A hat and a tshirt is all he is looking for.

TT: Did he have a problem with the Bulldogs extremely tight facial hair code? How about his mullet.

JT: He loves the extra facial hair we require. Its like taking a vacation from yourself. The mullet is tougher...... lets face it the mullet is hard to sell to anyone. He is all for the sideburns, which is a welcome change

TT: Will there be a move to give all the coaches cool nicknames like 'The Snake'?

JT: Oh Yes. Some of the names we are kicking around include

Head coach Mitchell, "Kid Mitch", Asst Head Coach Trana " The Grand Po bay", the D Coordinator Mclaughlin "The potato Famine"

TT: Are you sure those are cool?

JT: They may not be cool, but remember your in Northern Idaho.

TT: How does it feel having a former NFL'r on your team?

JT: As a coach it is exciting. the players are very excited about catching passes from an all pro.

TT: How will that first meeting go?

JT: WR's this is our new Qb coach Plummer. Coach Plummer do you have any experience coaching football?

NO?

Hmmm, Well have you ever played QB?

YES

Well I guess that is something.

Did you play in HS?

YES

Goood, were you a running QB.

A LITTLE BIT

Did you play in College?

YES, I WAS PRETTY GOOD

really??? Did you get Drafted?

YES, I PLAYED IN THE NFL AT AZ AND DENVER!

That's great, now go set up those cones for our drills ROOKIE"

and oh yeah new coaches bye the beer after our wins!!

STATE CHAMPIONS!!!!

There you have it. Another TundraTalk exclusive. This truly is a huge news organization. Get used to it.

If you would like to see what the Sandpoint Bulldogs have to offer just watch this video prepared by yours truly for their season ending banquet last year....


Sandpoint Bulldogs from hamiltongbp on Vimeo.



Once again the only news source you need is TundraTalk.

Oh, yeah, check this out. Someone in Toronto is selling Jeff Finger T Shirts. Not sure if I want one.

Oh and better late than NEVER, Preacherman, of the Pulaski Preachermen, drops by to give his two cents on the playoffs. Preach on brutha...

I loved the Bruins hockey video! Reminds me of the times I took out this chick who is an Avs fan (may God have mercy on her soul, and mine for taking her out). Never felt so dirty in my life. As for my picks here it goes:

Boston vs Montreal
In the words of DX, I got two words for ya ... f**k Kessel. I know he kicked cancer's ass and all, but ask any Badger fan and they'll tell you the same. I hate Boston almost as much as Colorado because of him. Should be a great series though, old time hockey! Price hasn't turned out what everybody thought he would be but Habs in 5.

Rangers vs Caps
This is a wierd one. I saw the first game and the Rangers were playing playoff hockey and the Caps were just playing regular season hockey. Even though The Caps have the all-everything Alex Ovechkin, in the end I feel their goaltending will let them down. Rangers in 6

Carolina vs New Jersey
This is the second coming of the "2 kids and a goat line". The line of Langenbrunner and former Fighting Sioux' Travis Zajac and Zack Parise is great! Lots of talent that isn't afraid to muck it up a bit. Goaltending is on NJ's side. With Brodeur passing the NHL's all time greatest sieve for the most wins he can now focus on the job at hand. Can't forget about Scotty Clemmenson either! Devils in 5. (How do you do the plurl possesive of Sioux???)

Flyers vs Penguins
I absolutely love hatred series. Flyers hate everybody especially the Penguins. Should be an awesome, physical, dirty series with some nice goals thrown in. I have a total mancrush on Crosby. A pretty boy who is the NHL's best with the puck who will throw down. Too much talent on the Penguins in the end. Crosby, Malkin, Guerin, and Fleury (Marc-Andre not Theron, God I miss Theron!!!). Last year's finals were a dream come true for me. Penguins have been my second favorite team since the days of Frances, Mario, and Jagr, even before the 2 girls that were Penguins fans I dated. Wow, more ex-girlfriends? Maybe I need to seek professional help. Penguins in 7.

Mighty Ducks vs Sharks
Even though the Mighty Ducks have the only former Green Bay Gambler with this name on the cup, Ryan Carter ... former Badger and sewer-Waterloo Blackhawk Joe Pavelski of the Plover Pavelski's will get things turned around
and take it in 5. And yes, I know the Turtle plays for them.

St. Louis vs Vancooter
To tell you the truth, I really don't care who wins this one. With Brad Winchester and TJ Oshie on the Blues I guess I'm kinda leaning toward them.

CalGARY vs. Chicago
I get a kick every time Barry Melrose says Calgary. I agree with Sign Boy for once, I love seeing Badgers South, err I mean the Blackhawks, back in the Playoffs. With former Thunder Bay Flyer Patrick Sharp, Nikki Bruish's brother (Adam), and the best player to come out of the WCHA in a while, Jonathan Toews, (PEOPLE, learn how to say his name! It's pronounced TAES!) they will be too much for Calgary to handle. Hawks in 6.

Blue Jackets vs Detroit
My Wings are God's gift to hockey, all of sports for that matter. With Ty and all they have, Wings take the Cup in 16.

Mike Banaszynski

Now GET BACK TO YOUR WEEKEND.

NHL Playoff picks. Call your bookie and follow my lead...

Joel Witte, of the DC Witte's, sent me a link to the above ad campaign for the Boston Bruins. Freaking amazing. Laughed my ass off. There are three of them and I will put them in this post as we go along. Thank you Joel. You rule.

Okay, as you know, I am somewhat of a prognosticator. Yup, that was a pretty big word. Hope you enjoyed it, I did. Therefore I cannot go into this playoff season without telling you what WILL happen. If you care to remember, and I think some of you don't, I was perfect last year in the first round. PERFECT. Read it and weep. Well, I plan on doing better this year. As I said earlier, call you bookie, and bet the house. Here they are, the winning picks for this years first round.

EASTERN CONFERENCE:

BOSTON BRUINS (1) VS MONTREAL CANADIENS (8)

This one is almost a no brainer. Bruins are mean, tough, have great goaltending, and can score at will. They also have one of the two players I ever saw bend over to get through the visitors locker room door in Edmonton. Chara is a monster and everytime he came in and out of the door of the room at Rexall Place he had to literally bend over to get out. The other guy who had to do that was Eric Boogaard. These two teams hate each other so this will be entertaining, but it will be short. Bruins in 6.

Here is another of their ads...



PITTSBURGH PENGUINS (4) VS. PHILADELPHIA FLYERS (5)

This one is a bit tougher. The Penguins are playing great hockey right now in fact no one has been hotter in the East. BUT, I think the Flyers are another team that will punch you in the mouth while they beat you to the net. I like how they play hockey. A Bruins Flyers series would be great. Sid the kid might have something to say about it though so I am going to go with my heart and not my head on this one and pick the Penguins in 7.

Oh and if there are any Malkin fans out there I have a couple of McDonalds Malkin mini helmets that were only available here in Canada. Drop me a line if you want one.

NEW JERSEY DEVILS (3) VS. CAROLINA HURRICANES (6)

This series I probably will not watch a single game so I do not care about it much. I have never been a fan of the Devils and on that same note Ric Flair loves the Canes so I must also. Hurricanes in 5.

WASHINGTON CAPITALS (2) VS NEW YORK RANGERS (7)

Alex Ovetchkin once ducked us at Rexall for an interview. He went as far as not riding the bus with his team and getting security to lock down the back hall so he could sneak out the back door and get in a taxi. Wasted a lot of my time that night since the lame ass reporter I worked with would not just let it go. Now that I have my rant out of the way, I will tell you that in the same breath I like to watch Avery play hockey. He is a jack hole that does and says some really dumb shit, but he goes hard on the ice. I like the Caps in this one for several reasons. One being that I want Joel Witte to be able to cover the more than one round of the Stanley Cup playoffs and the other being that I just don't think Lundquist can stop the Russians on this Caps team. Sorry Hauser, Capitals in 6.

WESTERN CONFERENCE

SAN JOSE SHARKS (1) VS. ANAHEIM MIGHTY DUCKS (8)

This one is easy. Chris Pronger is a A-Hole and the Ducks, I will always refer to them as Mighty, were named after a shitty movie. San Jose in 5.

CHICAGO BLACKHAWKS (4) VS. THE GODLESS CALGARY FLAMES (5)

This one is going to be awesome. It is great to see the Hawks back in the playoffs. In fact since my team is not in this year, I will be wearing my Chelios number 7 on game day. Deal with that Flames. Every talking head on TV here in Canada is picking the Flames, kinda like every talking head in ND loves the queens. Forget it, the Bulin wall owns the Flames and the Hawks have too many scoring options. Hawks in 6.

VANCOUVER CANUCKS (3) VS. ST. LUIS BLUES (6)

Again another team that has been absent from the dance for many years the Blues finally get back. I love Keith Tkchuk but I just don't know if they will be able to solve Luongo. The Blues are also the hottest team in the NHL going into the playoffs. This could spell upset since the Canucks usually suck in the playoffs. I am going out on a limb here Blues in 7.

DETROIT RED WINGS (2) VS. COLUMBUS BLUE JACKETS (7)

Okay, you all know the hate on I have for the Wings. Well this year the hate on has a new twist. Ty Conklin, of the Green Bay Gamblers Conklins, is now on this team. Whoa, this sucks. I want with all my heart to have a Gambler get his name on the cup. But I do not want to see the Dead Wings win another cup. What do I do? I hate myself, Wings in 6.

There you have it sure fire pics to win. Now GET BACK TO WORK.

My NHL finals pick and Chris Elliot is genius...

Okay, it has been a while since I have posted so I apologize. It is my blog so I basically can do what I want so get over it. I am working on getting that Rudolph kid on the podcast but I am taking my own sweet time. Venckus Schmenkus is up right after that.

I have decided that I will give you my NHL Final picks so you can call your bookie and get your bet in at the last second. I was again, perfect in the last round. Not like it was that tough but I got it done.

Now the final...

Detroit Red Wings (1) vs Pittsburgh Penguins (2)

Okay, you probably already know how I am going with this but hell, again it is my blog, so just sit there and take it. Since the Penguins are the only remaining team with a former Green Bay Gambler on the team I am going again with the Penguins. They also have former Oilers Georges Laraque, the reigning NHL heavyweight champ and Petr Sykora. Lovet to see former Oilers do well in the playoffs and the Oilers not make the playoffs. Kinda makes me feel all warm inside. I really liked seeing Toby Petersen and Brad Winchester on the Power Play for Dallas last series. These are two guys who were ran out of town by MacTavish and co last year and are now kicking ass on a team that actually made the playoffs. So since I hate the Red Wings and the Pens have a Gambler that pretty much seals it. Sorry Trev and Preacher, your team sucks. On that note we move on...



NEXT: Chris Elliot. And I quote "There is no off on the Genius Switch." True, true, true. I have been saying that to everyone for years. I am a huge fan of Chris Elliot. I have often said that his career has mirrored me. Thats right I said it. He played a dude on a sitcom named "Get a Life" where he played a dude named Chris Peterson. He then played a news cameraman in the movie Groundhog Day. After that in the movie CB4 he played a filmaker. Chris Elliot truly is stealing from my life. I had a chance to interview him once and when I told him my name was Chris Peterson he just about died laughing and then asked if I lived with my parents. I said no, but they were there with me. That sent him over the top. The picture at the top is from that day. For those of you who recieve the Peterson Family Christmas letter that picture was in one of the first ones. Great guy, good interview. I should try to find that and put it up here.

I did a quick search on YouTube the other day and found a few classic Elliot vids.

There is of course the old man under the stairs bits from old Lettermans, but the NHL one with the rangers really made snot come out of my nose. That is the one up above.



This one is Elliot pushing his new series Skink the Bounty Hunter. Hilarious.



There is about 6 or seven of Elliot doing the Mac vs PC ads. Those are great also.



But by far his old stuff on Letterman is great. Enjoy. If you have time, which if you are reading this, you have WAY too much time, go to YouTube and search Chris Elliot.

This just in...It is official, my first round perfection was a fluke...

Okay, so now we all know that I got lucky in the first round. My second round I only got one series right. What do you expect? Me to pick against my favorite team? No way Jose. I still believe that the Avs could come back and win that series.

Quickly, because I am at work. Third round picks....

PITTSBURGH PENGUINS(2) vs PHILADELPHIA FLYERS(6)

Okay, when in doubt pick the team that has a former Gambler on it. Ty Conklin is on this team so I pick the Penguins. Never mind the fact that they have Malkin and Crosby. Some people say that the Flyers will rough the Penguins up. Uh, does anybody remember that the Pens have Georges Laraque? You know the toughest guy in the NHL. Undisputed heavyweight champion Georges Laraque. Just refer to this video to refresh your memory.



DETROIT DEAD WINGS(1) vs DALLASS STARS(5)

Okay I hate both these teams so I pick neither of them. They both suck. DalASS because they used to be the Minnesota North Stars and Detroit becasue they are Detroit. So I guess I pick Detroit because I am sooooo tired of teams from the south winning the cup where no one outside of the 20 thousand in the rink cares. I hope both these teams lose.

NEXT: Robby DuPuis of the Minneapolis DuPuis, sent this note about Tony and his return to the land of the free....

Hey, I was going through some old photos in my email account and found this rather obscure brush with fame from my rehearsal dinner the nite before my wedding. Legendary NHL referee Kerry Frasier stopped by for a beer.

Also, I need to request that Tony's entourage test is A LOT harder than the rest of ours. We're just a bunch of beer drinkin' punks next to him. The guy thrives in war zones which is a hell of a lot more than I can say, so he already has a leg up before the exam starts. Not fair, but glad to hear he's back safe and sound.

Robby

As you can see the pic to the right is Robby with Kerry Fraser. Nice. As for the podcast, not sure what I can do for you Rob. It's not like a bonehead like me is going to be able to make a guy who just did two tours in Iraq misstep. I am, after all, the guy who came up with the "Bon Jovi Lyric Interpretation". If I were smart it would be called the "Michael Stipe lyric interpretation".

Sorry.

And to show my incredible intelligence I will post this video of the Iron Shiek going nuts in an interview. Mikey Zee, of the CBC Zees, showed me this the other day. Man that Iron Shiek is CRAZY. If you want more, just go to YouTube and type "Iron Shiek Goes Nuts". Lots to choose from.

The best thing, among about 10 funny things, is he mentions God, Jesus, and Vince McMahon all in the same sentence. Yup you heard me right, AND what he says he wants to do to one of the Killer Bees is HILARIOUS. You must watch this, but NOT AT WORK!!!!!

I am NHL Perfection. I completely rule...

I AM PERFECT!!! Well in picking the NHL playoffs anyway. If you don't beleive me just click here. That's right read 'em and weep. Plus the only thing better than the Avalanche getting to the second round, is the Flames choking in the first. I love to see the Flames lose. Sweet. I also just love to see a Godless Flames fan cry in his beer. I hate that team almost as much as the queens. Their bandwagon is soooo big. Today that wagon is a lot less full. When we frist moved to Edmonton I was always offered tickets to see the Flames in Calgary. It was the easiest ticket to find. And I lived in Edmonton. They start to win and the rink is full. Hate 'em.

Oh and also I enjoy the fact that the guy that Oilerfan ran out of town, Joffrey Lupul, scored the OT, GAME SEVEN, winner to send his new team, the Philadelphia Flyers, to the second round. Sweet vengence is his. How does that taste Oilerfan? Pretty bitter I bet.

So you say, "How do you follow up perfection there Big Show?". Well I will tell ya, just keep your panties on.

Here are my predictions for the second round of the NHL Playoffs... Call your bookie...

Montreal Canadiens (1) vs. Philadelphia Flyers (6)

Okay I hate the fact that the idiot Montreal fans burned cop cars and broke windows. I don't want to pick them, I don't, but, I think they are just too strong to lose to the Flyers. But, hell, screw the fans of Montreal, but, man this is tough. I hate to do it but Montreal will win this series. The Montreal fans will get theirs in the next round courtesy of Sid the Kid and the Pittsburgh Penguins.

Pittsburgh Penguins (2) vs. New York Rangers (5)

I like Sid the Kid and again, Ty Conklin is on this team. The quest to get a former Gambler's name on the Cup continues. Pittsburgh wins in 6. Sorry hauser. The Rangers will make it interesting though.

Detroit Dead Wings (1) vs. Colorado Avalanche (6)

We all know how I feel about the Wings. Preacher Man and Doroshenko are Wings fans. Screw the Wings. This is a heated rivalry between these teams and there will be blood. Colorado will give the Wings the Finger and win in seven. In this case the Wings suck and therefore so do Trev and Preacher. Sorry boys.

San Jose Sharks (2) vs. DalASS Stars (5)

Hate DallASS. JR plays for San Jose and I love JR. So therefore we have San Jose in seven. I don't know anybody who is a fan for either of these teams.

Good luck with your picks. Now I have to get back to work so do you.

Doroshenko will be laying down his podcast soon so watch for that also. Oh and Evan Klippenstein, of the CBC Edmonton Klippers, sent me this story to further discuss how much it sucks to shoot from a very small air plane. Evan is also one of the smallest shooters I know so that says alot. Congrats to you and Mugsy on your second Klipper to enter the world. Lets hope this kid is a better goaler than you. Oh, come on, you are a tremedous goaler Evan, as far as you know (thanks Nordic Man for that one). ..Take it away Evan...

Hey fellow CBC'er,

I just read your blog (missed the last few posts) and the story of shooting from a plane. Classic! The mental picture you painted made me howel and reminded me of the many uncomfortable time I've had to shoot from a plane. Not that my size is an issue, just the turbulance and keyhole size windows available to shoot from. Anyways, I'd just like to share a very recent story of how everything can go right on an ariel shoot that results in the competition using my footage instead of theirs and the National eating it up.

A few weeks ago a plane crashes near Wainwright killing all 5 people on board, tragically family and coworkers of a flight that crashed near Golden BC in November killing 3. Huge story. I'm told to go to the muni-airport where a helicopter will pick me up and we have to find the crash site because at this point no-one knows where the exact location is. It's 3pm. The chopper is a C2, used to fight forest fires, and the pilot is all business. He take 15 minutes to empty all unnessecary seats and strap me and my camera into a harness and explain how the giant door opens in midflight. All I'm thinking is great, if we somehow survive a crash and the chopper is on fire, I can't run away. It takes us an hour to get to Wainwright and the weather has turned into blizzard like conditions. A small single engine Cesna carrying the Journal photog and Global camera guy are in touch with us as we both are searching for the crash sight.

It's in a snowy tree filled valley 12 kms northeast of town is all we know. After much circling and incredibly low flying we spot rescue vehicle lights flashing and voila, the wreckage. Global is circling a mile above us. My pilot is awesome. I'm on the left side of the chopper with the door swung open, sitting on the edge of the seat, both feet dangling outside. The pilot was on the right side but knew exactly what I needed to see from the left. He hovered low enough that we were whipping snow into rescue workers faces (not for long, we felt bad), he followed a snowmobile pulling a body up the hill to a staging area...a perfect tracking shot, and circled the big blue tarp where the other bodies were covered. It was very eerie hovering above the scene of such tragedy but ended up with 20 minutes of excellent tape.

We landed at the Wainwright airport at 5pm where are Sat. truck was waiting to feed it across the country. Global used their crappy shots from the plane circling way above us for their 6pm news but by 11 they were using ours. I let my boss know that this chopper pilot is the only way to do these shoots from now on; alot more expensive than a plane, but so worth it.

Hope all is well with you and your girls. Our second is due Sept. 1st and our latest attempt to fiigure out which set of genitalia it has was inconclusive.

Did you hear, the Score is laying off the shooters and going with VJ's? They'll never learn.

Take care,

Evan

I did see your footage as well as edit some for the show. Nice work homey. I think I can say I taught that boy everything I know. Which is not much. The most important thing I taught him is never put ANYTHING on top of your rig. I agree that helicopters are the only way to go.

Yup the Score will never learn. I also think that is the first time the word Genitalia has been used on TundraTalk. Sweeet.

GET BACK TO WORK!!!!

Impromptu flight, NHL Playoffs, and Marty on Leno...

Okay, yesterday I had the, ahem, priviledge, to go for a flight to get some video of a train crash. Now, I don't generally like to fly but I won't usually try to get out of it. It is just that these flights, unless you are in a helicopter are not fun. In fact, back in Green Bay once, I was sent over to Austin Straubel to jump on a plane to get vid of a plane crash (usually two every year around the EAA) and before I could even get out of the NBC mobile commisary the pilot was telling me to go back and get someone smaller because, and I quote, "There ain't no way in hell you are gettin' in my plane."

So you can imagine my caution when I get the call to head over to Regina Flying Club to jump on a plane. I asked him how big the plane was and the assignment editor told me that a guy from Global TV is also going so it will be plenty big. Okay, no prob. Well I get over to the airport and I scan the runway and I don't see anything bigger than a Cessna. Not pleased.

I ask the guy inside which plane we are going on and he points me to this three seater job right in front of the window. Great, this is going to suck. Now if you have ever been in one of these planes you know that the wind pushes them around like an anorexic in a wind storm. So you need to have a bit of a strong stomach. Not only do I have that to contend with but I have to shoot video also. Not conducive to the lunch I just finished eating.

So I am running all kinds of scenarios through my head on how I can get out of this. So I ask him how much the assignment editor told him I weighed. The pilot said that David told him that I weighed 220. Well, yes I did weigh 220, BACK IN HIGH SCHOOL. That's right 1986 was the last time I weighed 220. Needless to say I informed him that I weighed considerably more than that and he then assured me that we were still okay for the flight. Damn.


He tells me to get in the front, which I do and I promtly break the seat. It now reclines a bit more than it should. The pilot also tells me not to bump the controls, which are conviently about an inch from my feet and my knees. Nice. Every time he tried to turn right he hit my knee. I am sooo dead.

Then he turned the thing on. That is when I started to think that this was my last assignment. This thing rattled and shook like Lindsay Lohan looking for her next fix. I was thinking that I needed to call and tell Donna goodbye and to make sure that she gives my signed Brett Favre football to the right person. I kept thinking about that old Canadian show called ENG where they were traveling on a plane up in the bush and the plane crashed and a reporter died along with a producer. All I knew was that I did not want to go out like this.

He got the bad boy off the ground and I immediately got into take a nap mode. When in doubt, sleep. I just did not want to be that guy who pukes on a plane. I could only imagine what that would be like in such a small shitty plane. It took about 40 minutes to get to the train derailment. After we got there the pilot was told that we had to stay up wind of the toxic chemicals and at about 5500 feet. Great, nice way to make pictures. So as you can see in the picture I was sitting on the right side of the plane. The crash was on the to the left of the pilot. We swung around so it was out the right sid of the plane and that left me with a huge ass camera and no way to see what I am shooting as the viewfinder is on the left of the camera.

We fly by a couple of times and as I am holding the camera in my lap and shooting the pilot is looking through the viewfinder of my camera to make sure I have the crash in frame all the while still flying the damb deathtrap plane. Great. He flew by three times and I knew I had all I needed and I was also getting a bit queasy from the hair pin turns. So I said lets go back to Regina. The Global guy in the back asked if we could go by a couple more times, ass. For some reason they decided to send up a guy who had never run a camera before. Brilliant. For all of you who don't know, including the Global camera guy, you don't zoom in when you are shooting from a plane. If you zoom in you will not have steady video. Well he did a lot of zooming and had no usable video.

We got back in one piece and my video was fine. No puking for me, but man did I go straight for the junk food when we hit the ground. I needed something to make me feel good. Moral of the story, don't fly in a plane that you are bigger than and don't zoom in whilst you are in the air shooting something on the ground.

Okay, now on to my predictions for the NHL Playoffs. Whooooooo, I love this time of the year. I know Robby DuPuis of the Minneapple DuPuis used to just buy cable once a year during the playoffs. I am going to make this short and sweet because I need to get a call into Mike Chaussee so I can put him on TundraTalk the Podcast.

EASTERN CONFERENCE

(1)Montreal vs Boston(8) - Okay not fond of either of these teams so I will just pick by the ranking and go with the Canadiens.

(2)Pittsburgh vs Ottowa(7) - Now we all know that I always pick the team with a former Gambler on it. Ty Conklin plays for the Penguins so thus I pick the Penguins. I want to see a former Gamblers name on the Stanley Cup. Sorry Mitch.

(3)Washington vs Philly(6) - Again, not to concerned with this series but I do know that Washington has been hot lately and Philly has not. But I am going to go with Philly just because.

(4)New Jersey vs NY Rangers(5) - In the battle of New York I will take Hauser's team. Not fond of the Devils, they are evil.

WESTERN CONFERENCE

(1)Detroit Red Wings vs NashVegas(8) - Okay, we all know that I hate the Dead Wings and their crappy red jerseys, but I am thinking that they will deal Nashville a loss in the first round.

(2)San Jose vs the Godless Flames(7) - Screw the Flames. Sharks in 4.

(3) Minnesota vs the Colorado Avalanche (6) - We all know that the Avs will give the Wild the Finger. Jeff Fingers name on the Cup would be AWESOME. Avs in 6.

(4)Anaheim vs DallASS Stars(8) - Here is another series that I wish both teams would lose. I will go with DallASS because I do not like the Ducks. Pronger is an ass.

Okay there you have my first round predictions. Call your bookie and put all you have on Colorado.

Last but not least I will leave you with this video. I have been wanting to put this up for a while but have not had time. Here is Marty Frey on Leno being questioned by Arsenio's freakishly large hands.

Enjoy.


Marty Frey and A Hall from hamiltongbp on Vimeo.

Now, I got stuff to do so GET BACK TO WORK!!!!