Okay, so I have decided to start writing again. No not just here to you the loyal TundraTalk Nation, but another screenplay. Or maybe just a story. I am not sure what has inspired me to do this. I think maybe it has to do with a few things. The other day I was digging around in the furnace room looking for something that I have no idea where it is when I found a box of letters. My Mom and Dad, for some reason decided to keep all the correspondence that I received when I was in school and the Forest Service. Not sure why.Oh, wait, you remember that don't you. Writing letters? Can you imagine? I used to, apparantly, write a lot of letters. I probably had around 60 letters in this box. Most of them from girls. Now before you start thinking that I am just bragging, don't. These letters were not hot or even warm. They pretty much sucked. Weird thing about it some of the girls I got letters from I cannot for the life of me remember what they looked like or even who they were. Crazy. After reading a few of them I figured out I had a pretty much a form letter that I sent them. Basically describing what I have been up to, a question on what they are doing, and then asking for their phone number and a picture. Seriously, every one of these letters from different girls answered the same questions.
I also got a few letters from Chad Weiser, of the Bellevue Microsoft is satan Weisers, Reg Rudolph, of the Garrison Rudolphs, and Shannon Just, of the not sure where Justs. It must not have been to easy for those guys to write because there were no more than two from each of them. Shannon was so lazy that he even had my mom fill in the address to the Forest Service. Lazy bastard. Letter writing is a lost art, and by the looks of these letters, not to many of my homeboys were artists. Reggie's was good though.
Anyway, I have always wanted to put down on paper my experiences in the Forest Service fighting fire and reading these letters reminded me of some of those stories so I decided to finally start writing it.
So obviously, that leads me to want to put together an Entourage. You know, for when I sell the book or screenplay and have loads of money to just throw away on my homies. I need a support system to keep me real. I know, some of you are saying "What the hell are you talking about Chris. Isn't that what your family is for?" Yes, and no. I like the show Entourage, and I just wanted to go through, what I will call a tryout, or the interview process of putting one together.
A good Entourage consists of four or five dudes. No you can't just put anyone into these spots. I do not want an Entourage that consists of yes men that will just go along with all my lame brain ideas. I need guys who will not be afraid to call me an idiot. Most of the people I have chosen to go on the list would probably step over themselves to call me an idiot so I think I will be okay on that point. After all if you have a group of yes men that usually leads to jail time like Tyson, or Iverson. You know the old saying, "You are who you roll with." Well I guess it is not old but it works.
So I am going to break down a list of potential candidates for my Entourage. I hope no one is offended by not being on this list but trust me I have put a lot of thought into this. This list is in no particular order, just putting it out there. Good luck and here we go...
MARTY FREY - Check the list to the right, whose name is at the top of topics in TT. Marty Freaking Frey. This guy is a frontrunner for many reasons. He is a Packer fan, he sends me stuff, he has major connections, he has been to the Playboy Mansion twice in the past year, he almost burnt me to a crisp for a commercial, and he is usually one of the first guys I can count on to call me an idiot. Marty is also the man who uttered the infamous 'Dee Snider Poker Night Comment'. Which of course is huge. Trump will not work with anyone else in LA and neither would I. Marty this is your spot to lose.
DEREK VENCKUS - Derek made this list on his ability to make me laugh. A dude has got to have a guy to make him laugh in case I have a bad day at the studio because some dumb ass actor will not do what I tell them to. Venckus is also a person who will call me an idiot just for drill. Plus he knows hockey. I needs a guy to talk hockey with. I believe he is a closet Packer Fan. Every Entourage needs a driver, and I have seen Derek drive the NBC 26 mobile commisaries at the Elkhart track in Wisconsin. To quote the great movie Ricky Bobby - "Derek Bobby is not a thinker, Derek Bobby is a Driver." Derek is a definite front runner for one of the spots.
TREVOR DOROSHENKO - Our first Canadian to pop up on the list, Trev is a guy who unfortunatly is a Red Wings fan but makes up for it by tolerating my Packer Talk. Trev is a guy I went to war with at the A-Channel which spawned our charity golf tournament that was a huge success in Edmonton for 6 years. Trev also shows much loyalty to me by following me from Edmonton to Regina. He missed me so much after we left that he could not take living in E-town with out me. That my friends is loyalty. Good on him. Trev also is a guy who is not afraid to call me names if I deserve it. Good luck Trev. Oh and we will forgive him for posing like the Heisman, a college award, at the PRO football hall of fame.
SHAWN HAUSER - Hauser, or Hauserinskinov as he is called in the NHL, starts off well by being a Packer Fan. As you recall from the NFC Championship weekend podcast, he is vital in the Packers success last year. He gives Favre hand signals from the sidelines when Brett does not know what to do. Sweet. Hauser is also a hockey fan (Rangers too bad) and loves beer. You have got to have a guy in your crew who can locate and allocate beer when it is needed. Hauser has these qualities in spades. He was also there on the infamous 'Dee Snider Poker Night Comment'. Hauser has a house full of women, as I do, so hanging with the boys is crucial. Hauser is a very strong candidate.
CORY BLASHILL - Our second Canadian to make the list. Cory, well where do I start with Cory? Lets just say Cory is the goods. If you need something, Cory can get it. If something is broke, Cory can fix it. If you need something to eat, Cory can cook it. If you need a live hit in les than 5 minutes, Cory is your huckleberry. If you need gossip on someone, just pull up a chair. Also if someone is bugging you and you want them to go away, Cory will send them packing. Cory also has the best luck of anyone I know. Plus he has great stories from the road and always drinks with the finest athletes. Oh, and Cory can plan a party like no other. It would be safe to say right now that Cory pretty much has a spot locked up.
ROBBY DUPUIS - Robby, despite living in Minneapolis, is for one the guy who I could count on in my crew to be the voice of reason. You know the one, the guy who keeps us from going into the wrong bars, casinos, or strip clubs. The one who at the drop of the hat could have us in a limo on the way to Vegas. Of course he would get us comped. The only thing about Robby that is holding him back a bit is the fact that he is a fan of the Donkeys and John Elway. As you can see in the picture he is getting his ass handed to him by the Hansen Brothers. Robby knows that the greatest film of all times is Slapshot. Robby could also be the enforcer of the group. Need one of those.
THE NORDIC MAN - First and formost, he has a killer nickname. A must have in a posse. You must have a guy with a nickname. Nordic Man. Now that kicks ass. Secondly, he is our hook up for Packers tickets. This guy ALWAYS comes through for me or my boys. Nordic Man also has a palace in Gillet Wisconsin that is sutiable for many a fine get together. Nordic Man also loves hockey and is willing to tell me to shut up if I need to. The Nordic one is also a man with a house full of women. Guys like us need a lot of QT with the boys. This crew would supply all of that time. Last, but certainly not least, he was also there on the infamous 'Dee Snider Poker Night Comment'. Nice job Nordic Man you are on the list.
TONY MUTZENBERGER - I am starting a new trend with my posse. A war hero. From now on when someone considers putting together an Entourage they will consider a war hero. Tony is down. Now, he may not want to join my posse because he probably is still upset about Chad and me putting him thru the car wash in the back of Chad's El Camino in high school. Maybe he is over it though, we really could use a guy who knows his way around an AK-47.
CHAD WEISER - Speaking of Chad, a person should have at least one of his boys from way back in his crew. Chad has many qualities that would fit in my crew. First and foremost he likes beer. Unfortunately he is a Seahawk fan but he makes up for it by being a Celtics fan. He is also a man who has a house full of women and could use more time with the boys. Chad works for a landscape architecture firm so when I get ready to build the palatial mansion he can design it with everyone's needs in mind so when we all move in we will not feel the least bit uncomfortable. Oh, did I mention that we all have to live in the same house? Required. Deal with it.
NICK CHASE - Nick is on the list because he is the baddest lawyer in the land. He kicks ass and takes names daily. Every posse needs an agent type that knows his way around the law. Nick is this guy. Nick is also a huge wrasslin fan who I personally have sat ringside with. He also attended Wrestlemania 19 with Weiser, Ivy and me. He is a natural leader that can lead the group to all the best deals as well as the best parties. Nick is the go getter that this crew needs. He probably won't join up because he is too busy fighting terrorism, or terrism as W calls it. Too bad, Nick would have fit in well.
SHANE T. KELLER -What would Shane bring to the table? Well, as you can see in the picture he is wearing what is possibly the ugliest thing a person can put on their body. He is a queen fan. I know, why the hell would I put a queen fan in my crew? Well, Shane is a good guy that just has a few flaws. Also every crew needs someone to make fun of. Being a queen fan would give us tons of material. But Shane would not just be the butt of many a joke, he is our hook up to the music business. He has worked in the industry for many years and has tons of connections. Let's say I decided one day that I needed a theme song. Shane could get on the blower and have that done by noon. Shane IS the music industry. So he all but makes up for the fact that he is a queen fan.
MITCH DAVIS - The third Canadian on the list Mitch makes it solely that he is my brother in law. Every Entourage needs some nepotism. Plus if we go to concerts and need ear protection he has the hook up. Tinitus he can help us with also. Nice job Mitch. Way to make the grade. Oh and most importantly, he is a Packer Fan. Mitch is the man.Okay, there you have it, the front runners for my Entourage. I will note there were some others that had potential. And really, anyone could increase their value between now and when I actually put this thing together. Any one of them could step their game up and knock one of the top contenders out. On the same note the contenders need to keep their game up. No prevent defense here. Keep doing what you are doing. Here is the also rans....
Steve Iverson, Min Dhariwal, Greg Donnelly, Mike Chaussee, Uncle Rayman, Reg Rudolph, Steve Schoenrock, and last but not least, Jason Manning.
Okay, if you are on this list keep doing what you are doing. If you are not on this list and want to be, step it up. Send me a resume, a demo reel, and a list of references. We will see what you can do. Remember there are only 4 or five spots and lots of talent on this list. This is the whos who of TundraTalk.
I'd be interested to hear if you have lists of who you would put in your posse. I wonder how many of those lists I would make. I think I would do okay. Anyway, do not take this list personal, this is strictly business.
Now that I have that out of the way, GET BACK TO WORK!!!!!
