Game Day!!! Whooooooooooooooooo!!!!

Game day has finally arrived. The day I have been waiting for a week. Here is why. The NFL does a lot of stupid things. Banning local cameras from the sideline, fining guys for wearing socks wrong, not allowing goofy celebrations, ignoring their vetrans in their final years, basically stupid stuff. BUT they do a lot of things right. This is why I love the NFL. Game day at Lambeau Field is amazing. The game wasn't until around 5:30pm but the stadium was jumping by 9am. I remember a sign outside of Krolls when I lived there. It said, "Game Day - Restaraunt Open 10am Bar Open 8am" That is what I am talking about.

The Tailgate at a NFL game is insane. I am sure about 10 percent of the people that were at the stadium did not even have a ticket. People just come out to be a part of the atmosphere. A lot of them dress up and spend more time taking pics with people than doing anything else. Like the Packer Elvis. Elvis lives and he is for sure a Packer fan. He certainly would not be a Giant fan. Sponge Bob Cheesehead was there as well as St. Vincent Lombardi. Who took time to pose with me. The guys who dressed up as the actual Frozen Tundra had a lesson to teach us all. Just read what is on their tundra. "I am the Frozen Tundra" The more I thought about it the more I agreed with them. I am, as a diehard Packer Fan, the Frozen Tundra. Marty said it also, all of us there at the game, ARE The Frozen Tundra. That sure is deep.

Every year I hear about a CFL marketing guy from Edmonton or Regina going down to Green Bay to study the game day operations of the Packers and how they could use some of the things that the Packers do on game day to make the CFL experience a bit more exciting. BUT, every year nothing changes and the game day experience at the CFL is show up and go to the game like you are going to a movie. I will give the Riders credit, they do have a decent atmosphere, but tailgating would bring it up a notch. Too bad the city is afraid to let the fans have fun. In Edmonton they always said that they did not want people walking through the neighborhoods drinking and pissing on lawns. Well the neighborhood that Commonfilth stadium is in, you can see that on every day of the week. Anyway the point I am getting at is that this is why the NFL is so great. Sure the game and the players have a bit to do with it, but with out the game day experience this would just be another football game.

Nordic Man and I headed to pick up Marty and go to the stadium. Marty actually spent some time outside last night to get used to the weather and his clothing set up just so we would not give him shit. After we picked up the So Cal loser we headed to the Holy Land. Lambeau Field was jumping. Oh did I mention it was cold. Here is how cold it was. Look at the icicles in the picture. The wind was blowing so they froze sideways. When have you ever seen that? Not too often do you see water freeze sideways.

First thing on the agenda was to find a Bratwurst. Krolls West had the hook up, and man was that a good Brat. Marty took the time to record the quest for the Brat on his camera and I will have that posted here as soon as I can get it into the computer. After the Brat was found we made a lap around the stadium before we went in. I had my picture taken with some NY fans. I also yelled like the drunk fan at a camera for Best Damn sports show. Like I have had about a billion times in my own camera. Payback is a bitch I guess.

Here is where I got a bit mad. Why is that fans from other teams in the league feel they need to deface cheeseheads? Can't they come up with something original to make fun of the Pack? I know it is hard to make fun of the Pack but this is just lazy. Buy a cheesehead and paint it blue. Write Blue Cheese on the side. Lazy, lazy, lazy. They should confiscate that shit at the door. You don't come into our house and deface a statewide symbol of the Packers. Just don't do it.

We managed to get some members of the University of Wisconsin band to play a bit of On Wisconsin for us, Nordic Man had lots of people shake his hand because he was wearing his turn out gear from the Gillet Fire Department, and we took lots of pics and video. Got this great one by the statue of Vince.

After Marty's hand was frozen we made our way into the Lambeau Field Atrium. Which kinda sucked. Since it was soooo cold, for the record it was 6 below, all the non regulars took to hanging inside the atrium. Lots of them just were camped out on the floor. Literally laying on the floor watching the Cheatriot game. I managed to get another Brat whilst Marty and Nordic Man stood in line for a beer. Wouldn't you know it the tap went dry right when Marty got to it.

Not to worry, the Leinie Lodge was right inside the stadium. That is where we holed up until it was time to go inside and yell at Eli that he sucks. The beer taps at the Leinie Lodge had these little alcohol burners beside them to keep them from freezing. Get this they had to keep the beer WARM! Awesome.

Oh, I almost forgot, we managed to smuggle some hooch into the game. Just for your future info the cops check under the arms, around the waist and lower back. NOT the boots. Just stick a few of those airline bottles in your boot and you are good to go. Not that we are condoning smuggling illegal booze into an NFL stadium. Oh, yeah, we are. We of course did all our smuggling right in the shadow of the Vince Lombardi statue. I am sure he would have condoned our activities. Or fined us. One or the other. Probably fined us.

After we found our seats, which kicked ass, we commenced our NFC Champion experience. I must admit the Man Tears were frequent and frozen at the start of this game. The anthem had me going but the fly by put me over the top. When that dude turned the after burners and rumbled the whole stadium it was over. Then the game started and we were all business.

Since I have been back I managed to watch the game on the PVR. I will tell you, the Packers looked better on the TV than they did at the stadium. Besides that 90 yard bomb to Driver we were all a bit upset with the play. The Packer D just did not seem to come to play and the offense was a bit offensive. Play calling was terrible. Okay don't get me off on a rant, I will save that for later.

More importantly, the beer was freezing. Not so much in the bottles but if you bought a glass of beer it would be frozen before you got back to your seat. I purchased a few Cokes for our rum and the instant they opened the bottle it turned to slush. The beer in the bottle is less likely to freeze but if you don't drink it fast enough it freezes at the top and you can't get the beer out. That was kinda depressing. Marty managed to video tape some of the proceedings inside the stadium and we did a podcast at half time. CLICK HERE to listen to the Podcast or just go and use the link at the top of the page. I will get the video up as soon as I can.

I will tell you that when the Giants kicker lined up for his last second field goal in regulation that I invoked the spirit of Vince Lombardi and asked him if he could do anything for us. Well come to find out, he did. He reached down and swatted that ball out of the air and stopped it from going in. He also got us the coint toss for OT. But that is where the luck ran out. He could not help Number 4 in overtime. He also could not help out MM with his shitty play calling.

Well, now it is time to explain why I thing the Pack lost this game. Well first off I will blame Sports Illustrated for putting them on their cover. Why? Put the damn Patriots on the cover, screw the Patriots. They should know better than anyone that putting the Pack on the cover is death. Screw SI.

Second, the coach, in his infinite wisdom decided that he was going to keep the team inside all week for practice. WHAT? Even Marty knew he had to go outside and practice his cold weather survival. Inside all week? You fricking live in the cold, get your ass outside and play. The Giants spent the week outside. Jerks. The boys just all looked cold and did not want to be there.

Third, and I have already gone over this, the play calling. Mike McCarthy just did not have an answer for anything the Giants did. Third and ten and he throws a quick out pass to the sideline? Wha? He needs to concentrate more on the game plan and less on his contract extension. Yeah, I said it.

Either way, I was asked if I would trade my weekend for a Packer win? Well, that is a tough question to answer. You all know I love the Pack. I made sure that McKenna, when she was born, that within her first hour she had the official Green and Gold touque on her head. The nurse at one point told me to "relax I will get it on her head soon." I am a die hard, I want that team to win every year. I think Number 4 is the greatest to ever play the game. Some have even gone as far to say that I have a bit of a man crush on Favre. Which I have decided that Man Crushes are just as legit as Man Tears. Don't even try to debate me on this. I love the Pack. BUT would I trade my weekend for a win? Man, I had a good time. Trade for a win? I don't think I can answer that. Really, and what kind of question is that? Leave me alone.

I had a great time with Marty, Nordic Man, Hauser, Preacher, and 72 thousand of my closest Packer friends. I don't think I would have missed this for the world. So I guess I answered the question so leave me alone. GET BACK TO WORK!!!

The Tilted Kilt has great, ahem, food...

First thing I want to say is congrats to Cory Blashill, of the Edmonton Blashill's, on proving to the world that he still is operational. Cory will be a dad again on October first. Nice work cory, you're free time just got cut in half.
Day one in Green Bay was killer. Spent most of the day cruising the city by the bay. Decided that we needed some food and the Nordic Man decided we needed to go to a fine establishment called the Tilted Kilt. The Tilted Kilt offered us a chance to hook up with our old friend, and TundraTalk Nation member, PreacherMan Mike Banazynski. Mike was so excited to see me he promptly sat down, ordered a beer and watched a 10 year old hockey game on the TV. Nice to see you Preacher. As he said, he loves his Red Wings a little more than Sign Boy.

During our fine lunch the Nordic Man was chatting up the waitress when he made a discovery that just about ruined my weekend. The waitress, Olivia, was 18 years old. Wow, half my age. I am old. We decided it was illegal for me to even talk to her so I ordered through Preacher, well that is when he wasn't watching the game. Loser.

We also recorded a bit of a podcast at the Kilt. CLICK HERE if you want to listen to the madness. Or just click on the link at the top of the page.

I go to the proshop also that day and picked up a few things for the family back home. That place was a zoo. I think everyone in the city decided to go all at the same time. Crazy.

Hauser and the boys all got together out front of the stadium to take a pic. It was nice to have the boys all together again.

After that we made it to the Stadium View for a few more cold ones and I noticed a button in a display case that I absolutely HAD to have. I will wear this one proudly every year during viqueen week. Sorry Shane, not ready to upper case them yet. Even though the guy who made the button uppercased it. He is just a bit confused and in need of an education.

Oh, by the way it was around 6 below here in GB today. Not cold enough if you ask me. I wanted a bit of snow to go with it but I am not a weather guy, I just play one on TV.



Since we had such a good time, errrr meal, at the Kilt at lunch we had already decided that this would be the location for our evenings merriment. Marty calls me at dinner time and tells me, "Hey, I know where we are going tonight. Tilted Kilt!!!" as if we just got off the boat. No kidding Marty. Thanks for the update.

Those in attendance later at the Kilt were Marty, Nordic Man, Marty's bro, Hauserinskinov, Preacher, and later Angie, the lady who sold us our duckets. In fact that was a highlight moment when we got our tickets. Hauser took time to sit down for the Podcast that does not suck, TundraTalk, and we recorded a keeper. CLICK HERE to listen to the podcast or again just click the link above to pick what you want to listen to.
Well we got our ticket, we got our drink on, and it was a great evening had by all. Only thing left to do is tailgate, drink, stay warm, and win the NFC Championship.

More to come on game day.

"It's better here, because we are HERE!!"

The real glory is being knocked to your knees and then coming back. That's real glory. That's the essence of it. - Vince Lombardi

Okay, I will get to my weekend after I take care of a few of you playa hata's out there. Kinda funny how all you queen fans come out of the woodwork after a loss. First up is queen Gene Principe, of the Edmonton Principe's.....

Pack Suck..Retire already Favre..

Happy Viking Fan in Edmonton

Gene

Well Gene, who did your team play last weekend? Ya, I thought so. You and your team suck and you still owe me dinner.

Next up is Shane T Keller, of the Hollywood Keller's. He is a bit more respective, or shall I say introspective. Whatever he wasn't an ass...

Hi Chris, Sorry about the loss. I have NEVER wanted them to win so badly as tonight, come on, the Giants? I hate them and the Vikings beat their ass in the regular season (and we don't even have a QB).....I understand that there were many foleys tongiht. Farve was not at his best, seemed like he had other things on his mind, whatever, he is still the best Quartback (in my opinion) to play the game. But I want to cut to the chase, you are a man of honesty and integrety. I know and I think you know too that if the Vikings Defense where playing for the Pack in this game, The Pack would be on there way to the Superbowl. If you truly believe this in your heart, then I challenge you to admit it on the Tundratalk and to spell the Vikings with a CAPITAL V. Show us what you're made of my friend, P.S. I found a "Chili John's" in Burbank. The only other one is in Greenbay where it originated. A friend of mine from Greenbay turned me onto it. That's what he grew up eating on Game Day. It's awesome, you can by the entire kit (including meat etc.) throw it in a crockpot in the A.M. and you are good to go. Thought you might enjoy the Greebay connection and if I know you, you are well aware of "Chili Johns". Have a good day, Shane

Thanks Shane for the words. I will admit that the queens had a decent D this year. But as for them playing for the Pack on Sunday, they might have won, IF THE GAME WAS INSIDE. But we all know that that game was not played inside. The queens in general suck, but outside in cold weather, they REALLY suck. They lost a lot of their bite the minute they moved to that lousy stupid baggie dome. If the Packers had THEIR defense playing on Sunday they would be on the way to the Super Bowl. I am still pissed that they spent the week inside practicing. McCarthy has made some bad decisions this year and that was probably the worst.
I will give you props for your kind words about Number 4, but to get me to stop spelling the queens with only lower case will take a bit more. Not sure if they deserve that respect, yet. Win the big one and we can talk.
As for Chili Johns, yes my friend, I know it well. Mmmmmmm chili. Which reminds me, I need to start planning for the Brett Favre Chili for the not so Super Bowl.

Okay let's get this ball into play. Back it up. To start, as I was watching the Giants beat the Cowgirls on Sunday I started looking into tickets to the NFC Championship in Green Bay. Well to my suprise I could buy one in the end zone for around 349 bones. Reasonable. Well about 5 minutes after the game was over they were 500, and 15 minutes after that they were all gone. Amazing.

So I started planning on how I was going to get my way into the NFC Championship at Lambeau. Long story short, I emailed the Nordic Man to see if he knew anyone with a few spare tickets. Yeah, right, I am sure he has tons just laying around the house. Well, his mom had four, but she sold two of them to his brother and sold the other two to brokers. She did not think he wanted to go. Uh yeah, who would want to go to that game?

Anyway Nordic Man found someone with three extras and he contacted Marty and me and we decided to make it a weekend. Well, at first I was going to drive but Mel B, of the Northwest Airlines Mel B's made me an offer I could not refuse. She offered to give me one of her passes to fly to Milwaukee. I said ya, and it was on. Well Marty was not having the luck I was finding transportation. It was going to run him around $2500 to fly to Milwaukee. That is a lot. The airlines knew something was going on so they jacked the prices. Mel B then suggested we both fly to Minneapolis and road trip it to The Holy Land. Done.

I was so excited I was packing on Tuesday for my Friday flight. I have not been back to the Holy Land since 2003 so you can only imagine how geeked I was. Friday finally came and I hopped the flight in Regina. Guess who I saw in the airport? Let's see, Regina airport, could it be Tom Cruise? Slyvester Stallone? Ric Flair? Nope, Kent Austin, of the Grey Cup Champion Roughriders, was flying to his new job down south.

Wait, it gets better. As I am sitting down in my seat the guy sitting next to me is sizing me up. I wonder what his deal is? He asks me if I am going to the game, I say yes. I ask him if he is going to the game, he says yes. I look again. Ask him "Are you John Ryan's brother?" Yup. So here I am on the plane with the punter from the Packers brother. Nice. My weekend is starting out great. Even better he had a 5 hour layover in Minne and we got to Green Bay before he did by driving.

So I land in Minne no problem and who do I see walking down the hall but this guy from LA who dissed my truck. Marty is in the house!!!

We rent our car and after Marty whines for about 10 minutes about how cold it is. It was only 7 below zero farenheit. Wuss. Been in LA too long. So long that he FedEx'd his jacket and cold weather gear to Wisconsin. Anyway we hit the road in search of a win at Lambeau and more importantly at that moment, food. What did we find? Famous Daves. Nice. We had all the goods, corn bread, ribs, spicy sausage, bbq chicken, and to top it off a Leinies. Nice. Served up to us on a garbage can lid. Too sweet.

After dinner is was off on hwy 29 to Green Bay. We managed to stop along the way for a beer or two in Wausau. At this point I said for the first time of the weekend as I drank my Leinies, "It is better here, because we are HERE." Basically, Leinies are good when I drink it in Regina, or Edmonton or where ever, but it is better because we are in Wisconsin. Everything is better in Wisconsin, including the football queen fan. Get over it.

We also took the time to do a bit of a podcast. That's right, TundraTalk was taken on the road and done on the roads of Wisconsin and will be live, kinda, at Lambeau Field during the NFC Championship. Sweet. Click the link at the top or CLICK HERE and listen to the Podcast that will kick your ass, pick you up, and then ask you if you fancy another. Go get some.

We arrived in Green Bay around 11pm and were drawn like a tractor beam straight to Lambeau Field. It was all lit up and looked amazing. Then, we of course were drawn by a similar, but equally effective tractor beam to the Stadium View Bar and Grill. We needed to soothe our parched gullets. It was also noted that it was better here, again, because we were here. Whilst I was at this fine establishment I managed to purchase my new campaign button for the '08 elections. I hope you all jump on board with these candidates because they offer so much more than those other stiffs. Funny that a sports bar is getting involved in politics but in this case I am glad because I believe in these candidates. Notice that the button is blue NOT red. Wisconsin I beleive is a blue state. Especially after Rudy decided that he did not want to sign a Packer hat. Loser.

After a few fine beers we decided to call it a night and I dropped Marty at his parents and I drove out to Gillet to stay at the Nordic Mansion. What a great start to our trip. Can't wait for tomorrow.

Wow, what an evening...

Whooooooo!!! I got my ticket!

Here we are at a fine establishment in GB that is called the Tilted Kilt. The lady in the pic is Angie, she is the one who got us the tickets. As you can see we are very happy. Marty, has a funny look on his face because he is cold. Nordic man is on the right. He is just happy to be out of the house.

Today is the day, we are getting ready to layer up and head to the stadium. I already have some great stories to tell you and a podcast that is slightly under the influence. I know you can't wait. Stay tuned for more on Monday.

GO PACK GO!!!

Favre is the man...

Our Favre,
Who art in Lambeau,
Hallowed be thine arm.
The bowl will come,
It will be won.
In Arizona as it is in Lambeau.
And give us this Sunday,
Our weekly win.
And give us many touchdown passes.
But do not let others pass against us.
Lead us not into frustration,
But deliver us to Glendale.
For thine is the MVP, the best of the NFC,
and the glory of the Cheeseheads,
now and forever.
Go get 'em

Oh yeah, I'm feelin' it...

Spoken: One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. Schlemeel, schlemazel, hasenfeffer incorporated.

We’re gonna do it!
Give us any chance, we’ll take it.
Give us any rule, we’ll break it.
We’re gonna make our dreams come true.
Doin’ it our way.

Nothin’s gonna turn us back now,
Straight ahead and on the track now.
We’re gonna make our dreams come true,
Doin’ it our way.

There is nothing we won’t try,
Never heard the word impossible.
This time there’s no stopping us.
We’re gonna do it.

On your mark, get set, and go now,
Got a dream and we just know now,
We’re gonna make our dream come true.
And we’ll do it our way, yes our way.
Make all our dreams come true,
And do it our way, yes our way,
Make all our dreams come true
For me and you.

Going to the big game!!!

Hey all, yup, going to the game.  NFC Championship baby.  Nordic Man is huge, came up with some duckets and I am going.  Just gotta figure out how to get there.

I got some ideas.

Talk to you soon.

Billings Montana, Packers whip Seattle, and Marty on Leno...

Okay, it is time to get down to business. The Packers are playing this weekend against those wannabees from the northwest, the Craphawks. Holmgren, the traitor, will bring his lousy team to Lambeau to get his ass handed to him with a bow on it. So my prediction for the game is Packers 28, Do Do Birds 10. As MC Hammer said so eloquently back during high school, "U Can't Touch This". No one can touch the Pack. Believe it.

Oh, and the viqueens are 6 point underdogs this weekend and they are spending the weekend on the couch. Losers.

As for the rest of the rest I am going to predict that Indy will beat San Diego, Jacksonville is going to make a game of it with the CHEATriots, and NY will beat DallASS. That's right, I am picking the upsets. I think Jessica Slutson will be in the house and Romo will have another big 5 interception game. Which will bring the NFC Championship game to Lambeau Field. Yup, punching my ticket to the Super Bowl.

The cool pictures are from Packer Palace dot Com. The main one on the top shows the road signs on the interstate. The one on the right gives directions to Green Bay. The one in the middle is for Milwaukee, and the one on the right goes to Chicago. Losers.

NEXT: This is television programming alert that you need to watch Leno on Monday or Tuesday. Why, may you ask, am I, a Letterman enthusiast, recommending that you watch Leno? Well, Marty Frey, of the NBC Burbank Frey's, is possibly going to be on the show on Monday or Tuesday. Leno is going to do his monolouge and during it say that he is out of jokes. At this time he is going to send Arsenio Hall around the offices to see if anyon has any good jokes. Marty is one of the offices that Arsenio Hall came to. That's right Marty was in the precense of those freakishly long fingers of Arsenio Hall. Look for it on Monday. Marty told a Packer joke or two.



NEXT So last month the Passat decided that it liked to spend more time at the VW dealer than it did with me. Well I guess that it has been that way since we bought it but it got a bit worse in the last few months. Ever since John Mellencamp loaned his song "My Country" to Chevy I have wanted to buy a truck. In fact everytime that commercial came on I was halfway out the door going to shop for trucks. I love that commercial, especially when they put in the Packers at the front of Football night in America.

I did quite a bit of shopping around here in Regina and just could not find the right truck at the right price. I found this place in Bilings that had the truck I wanted at the right price. Donna works with someone who had bought from them before so I felt I could trust them. I made the deal and decided to go to Billings to get the truck.

There is about a pile and a half of paperwork to do to import a truck from the US. I had to wait 48 hours before I could pick it up. Now that brought me a slight dilemma because I did not have anyone to go with me. I on a whim called my boy Matt Wright, of the Global TV Regina Wright's, and he had nothing going on so he decided to rock to Billings with me.

Now this all good, but when we got to the border going into the US. The border guys were a bit hesitant. I guess two dudes crossing the border late at night, to buy a truck was a bit suspicious. They asked me where I worked. I said I was currently unemployed. "REALLY". "How do you know Matt?" Well I just met him a month ago at a work assignment. "REALLY." "Why do you have a US passport and live in Regina?" Well, I married a Canadian Girl. "Oh, excuse me while I put on the rubber gloves, can you please step out of the vehicle?" HUH?

That is basically how it went, well without the rubber glove thing. After I explained how I met my wife and lived in Canada all the red lights stopped flashing and they put their guns away.

After our traumatic experience at the border we stopped for gas in this small town right on the other side of the border. I bought some Funyuns, Wasabi flavor. Nice, Funyuns are great as is, but with Wasabi, kicked ass. Which I hooked Matt on the Funyuns on the way down. Great one more convert to the 'ways of the Funyun'. We also decided we needed a beer.

So we stopped in at the fine establishment called the 'Cattle Ac". This is going to be awesome. You can only imagine what kind of establishment the Cattle Ac is. Have a look at their logo on the match book. Sweet logo. We entered the establishment and immediately realized that we were underdressed. We did not have what appeared to be the prerequisite attire of Wranglers and cowboy hat. Sorry, I do not have a story that mentions a dude saying "Steers and Queers" for you here, but that would have been cool.

Matt decided that he would try his luck in the casino in the back. Oh I forgot to mention that the whole place was lit up in black light. Of course me being Mr. Mom I had a dark blue shirt on with stains from Dakotas breakfast and lunch on it. I looked like a christmas tree under all that black light. Not to mention what the hell those weird white stains were on my hands. I am going with dry skin. Click on the pic and have a look at the lights in the place. Antler chandeliers. Sweet. Gotta love Montana.

Matt managed to win 40 bucks in the Casino. Nice job Matt this trip is paying off already. We decided our luck was about out at the Cattle Ac, love that name, and took off towards Billings. At this point I will also mention that Sattelite Radio is a godsend. I have always kinda been a terrestrial radio guy. Old school, in a way, but radio in western Montana, and Regina for that matter, to put it nicely, sucks the big one. Sattelite radio, which Donna has in her Honda just majorly kicks ass. No need to deal with Toby Keith, Dolly Parton, or John Tesh (I am not kidding I heard him on the air) accross the desolation that is western Montana.

In Miles city we stopped again for a beer. But since we could not find a bar anywhere, we had to stop at another Casino. Matt gambled a bit, lost a bit. Oh, this casino was formerly a Pizza Hut. I ordered a large stuffed crust but the lady there was not really buying it. I am sure she had heard that one before. Hey, no one has EVER called me original.

No kidding, they have casinos on every corner. Where the hell is all this money coming from to gamble? It is not like Miles City is the Vegas of Montana. In a two block radius I swear I saw about 10 casinos. Weird.

So we pulled into Billings about 2 am. I did not know where the hotels were so I just jumped off the highway and looked for a reasonable hotel. The hotel that I saw that looked reasonable was called the War Bonnet Inn. Nice. No such thing as politically correct in Billings. Inside there were Native American artifacts, stuffed heads, and old west stuff all over. The name of the bar was the Arapahoe Lounge. Nice. Not a place to stay for someone who is easily offended. Oh by the way, the bed I got, I swear, was the worst mattress I have ever slept on. I could have slept outside on the pavement and it would have been softer. Worst sleep ever. I snapped a pic of the sign the next day.

Come to find out from the sales guy at the car dealership, that is the worst hotel in the city in the worst part of town. I really know how to pick 'em. As I was trying to sleep on the slab of concrete that was my mattress, all I could think of is that scene from Planes, Trains, & Automobiles when John Candy and Steve Martin are sleeping and that guy breaks in and steals all the money out of their wallets. Needless to say I slept light.

Next morning we got up and went to Denny's for my favorite breakfast, the Moons over MiHammy, when my phone rings. Who the hell is calling me? Well, I'll tell ya, just keep your shorts on. I had been shopping for a truck for a while and had talked to many a salesman. I got a call the other day from a guy who thought he had found 'my truck'. Anyway, it was Nate Davis from Capital Ford asking if I had bought a truck. Now this is normally would not be a big deal a sales guy calling me to try to sell me a truck, but Nate Davis, for the TT Nation that is in the states, is a former CFL football player for the Saskatchewan Roughriders. Actually he was my fave player from the Riders. That is him on the left in the picture and the guy kicking the snot out of Ricky Ray.

I of course informed him that I was in Billings buying a truck and he was okay with that. What he told me next won my lifelong loyalty. He informed me of a restaraunt called Famous Daves. He said they have the best ribs ever. So me being a guy who likes food, I told him we would check it out. Nate is a large man, you can always trust a restaraunt reccomendation from a large man.

He was right, I can still taste those ribs. I had Memphis style ribs, half rack. MMMMMMMMMMMMMMM good. The corn bread was amazing, melted in your mouth. If you are ever in Billings, or anywhere with a Famous Daves, I suggest you do whatever you can to eat at this fine establishment. Nate Davis has my loyalty forever. Thank you Nate.

So I went over to the Hertz dealer and picked up my truck. I was very pleased with my purchase. Matt Shanks, of the Billings Shanks, was the sales guy and the did me right. Oh did I mention that Famous Daves was right next door? No, well, it is. After the deal was done we managed to get lost and in the process found this great trailer park. I swear that Ricky, Julian, and Bubbles lived there. It was awesome. So awesome that I took a picture. Have a look.

The trip home was uneventful in the fact that they let me in with the truck and did not put on any rubber gloves. I managed to pick up a few bags of Funyuns to smuggle back in. I have a truck now I can smuggle a ton if I need to.

Marty sent me this note after he saw a pic of the truck...

I just wanted to let you know that isn't a truck that you have there... That's a "fancy truck" - that only "fancy lads" would drive... A real truck has two doors for men to get in and out of.. the extra doors on the back there take up valuable bed space for haulin' man things.. If the women or kids need to ride in the truck, you put them in the middle part of the front seat or the "girlfriend seat" as it's known among real men. But you probably have some girly bucket seats in that truck instead of a real man bench seat that is always a part of a real truck. Plus - you've got some sissy, glossy bed cover on the back of that tiny little sandbox of a bed on that back of that "fancy truck".
That's the kind of truck that I see haulin' cross-dressing transvestites in the Hollywood Holiday parade. I am deeply disappointed - did your wife make you buy that?

Marty


Yup, this coming from the guy leaning against this Penis extender. Oh and this is the kind of car a guy, loosely used word, who beats his girlfriends and or his kids, reads comic books, eats sushi at a baseball game, has a subscription to maxim magazine not playboy because it is too 'graphic', drives to wine country on the weekend to bond with his 'boys', compares business cards and rates the paper it is printed on, AND is writing the next great novel, watches Leno and bionic woman (new version) in that order, and worst of all could be a viqueen fan.

Sorry Marty, I like my truck. Reply...

I bought that car used about 5 years ago from my neighbor who was having health problems and needed the money and then sold it less than a year later - not because my wife didn't enjoy riding in it.. Just because it was too fancy for a man of my practical and strong Midwest upbringing...

Yesterday we had Ric Flair and Stone Cold Steve Austin in here for a satellite interview... I showed them a picture of your truck and Ric Flair said that it was a "pussy truck".. That's right - Ric Flair himself said that your truck was a pussy truck...

Marty

Okay, you win....


NEXT: Marty, again of the Hollywood Frey's, sent me a couple of Pics of the new KITT. You know the one, Knight Rider. Yup, my fave show when I was a kid and part of the reason I always wanted a Trans Am/Firebird. Smokey and the Bandit was the other reason.

Well here is the new KITT. Nope, it is now a mustang. Marty take it away, was Hassselhoff there?...


No - "The Hoff" as he likes to call himself was not there.. Apparently his time is taken up with his new jewelry line for men that he is developing.. I'm not kidding.

They did have some "star types" but either I didn't recognize them or I didn't care..

Quick joke: Why do guys like women who wear leather? Answer: because they smell like a new car!

OK - I didn't say it was a good joke.

Anyway - they actually showed three cars in their various Knight Rider form.. the first one being totally remote controlled. They pulled back the curtain and the thing started up - drove past the cameras, pulled up the left, stopped and the doors opened up.. nobody inside. It was pretty cool.
Then they rolled up with the star types in the regular "crusing mode" car..

Then they had some stunt guy come in with the Mustang that is in "attack mode".. He drove up to the camera area and did about three massive doughnuts sending a ton of very unhealthy and stinky smoke into their faces.. I loved it! You can see from the 4th or 5th shot, all the smoke that that guy was putting up.

If you like the old late 60's boss Mustangs - these are very cool and brutal looking cars. They sounded great too.

Later,
Marty

Okay, that is all I have for you this week. Next week I am going to reflect on my 40th Birthday, which I just went thru. Nice. Now...

GET BACK TO WORK!!!!