Okay, before we get to THE story, I will give you some background. I spen the last four days working for the CBC broadcast of the Gemini's. Basically the Canadian version of the Emmy's. Good gig, good money, hard work, and the chance to see celebrities. Can't go wrong with that.
The first three days were spent running cables, setting up monitors, putting cameras together, rehearsal, and pretending I
knew what I was doing. I am good at that. AS you can see from the pictures there were a lot of cables to run. Lucky for us we had good weather. The set for the show was outstanding. Looked great in HD. I helped put down some track for a dolly camera. That was cool. Never did that before. Kinda slick operation. Again the CBC sent out their big guns from TO to run the cameras. I was positioned with camera 7. Which was a hand held camera located stage left right in front of the stage. Great spot to see the show, that is if I were not working. Basically my responsiblity was to make sure that camera 7's cables did not get tangled or up on anyones lap.
So from my position the celebs that were within spitting distance were, Tom Jackson(Actor), Georges St. Pierre(Ultimate Fighter), Matt Domingez(Sask Roughrider), Howie Mandel, Rick Mercer(political humourist), Brent Butt(Corner Gas), Paul Gross(actor, Due South),Mark McKinney(Kids in the Hall), AND Corey Haim. Nice. Cory Haim of course is famous for making
really BAD movies. I still remember the first time I saw Licence to Drive. Changed my life. Okay, Lost Boys was good. Lucas wasn't bad. But Meatballs Three was horrible. Or was it MB4? It does not matter. He was a pretty nice guy. Almost too nice. He seemed to be really hyper, or just really happy. Maybe medically happy? Who knows. Oh, and very tanned.Okay, as you can see, I take bad pictures. Especially when I probably was not supposed to be taking pictures. So they are a little blurry. The things I do for you TundraTalk Nation. That is Cory Haim in the pic above. Really it is. Oh and it really is Howie Mandel in the green shirt and hat. Really.
This is Paul Gross. Really...
This is Brent Butt. Really...
Oh and this is George Sromboloupolous. Really...
HERE IT IS, THE STORY TO END ALL STORIES - This one may be better than the Curt Henning story. Really. So it is gameday, Sunday, and we are rehearsing a few of the presentations. Trish Stratus is there to present with Howie Mandel. She is sitting in the front row talking to the writers. I am in my position kneeling on the floor (so as to not be seen by the other cameras), feeding cable to the camera. All of a sudden Trish gets up from her seat and walks over right next to me and leans against the stage. We are rehearsing and the director said for everyone to sit down. I thought this was odd that she got up and wanted to stand right next to the stage front and centre. She looked over to me and said "Is it okay if I stand here?" Of course what am I to say, "Hell no!! Go sit your ass down." Uh, no. I said "You can stand wherever you want." In the back of my mind I am thinking "why the hell does she want to stand here?"I go back to my job and I notice that she is looking at me weird. Kinda like she is trying not to be noticed. THEN, I smell a real nasty fart hanging in the air. I know it is not mine, cause, of
course a guy knows these things. The camera guy that I was working with is too far away. Then it hit me like a piledriver from Ric Flair. TRISH STRATUS JUST FARTED!!!!!!! Unfu#king believable.So I am looking around to see if anyone else notices the sulfur smell coming from Trish's ass. She must have eaten something nasty last night. Nope, on my own no one is anywhere near the dead zone. She then leaves ground zero and goes back to her seat in the front row. I am now appalled. She came over and left me a present. Unfortunately it was a present that I did not want. I knew the guys would not believe me. I needed someone to confirm what I just witnessed, or smelled. Who knows what could happen next. Wait, I do.
Then, I hear her talking to the writer in the front row. She says, get this, "The camera guy over there has really bad gas." and gestures towards me. UNFU#KING BELIEVABLE! She comes over drops ass then goes and blames it on me. UNFU@KING BELIEVABLE. The writer of course, looks at me then says, "Oh, I'm sorry." Yeah sorry I don't come over there and kick your ass poindexter. IT WASN'T ME!!!! Do I have to explain it again? Guys know their own farts. It is kind of like they can keep track of stats and figures from sports. It is kind of like your fingerprint, except you don't use ink, you use your nose. On a side note, if you know what your homeboy's farts smell like, you have been spending too much time with your homeboy.
Here I am minding my own business, and she does that. I guess we should not expect anything less from a professional wrestler, but man. Even I know you don't rip one like that in public. So here I am, the host of TundraTalk, and Sunday rolls around, I did not have a brush with greatness pic to share and I thought the only thing I was going to be able to tell you was that I saw a Lost Boy. No pic with Strombo, no pic with Howie Mandel or Ric Mercer, wrongo. I got more than a brush with greatness, I got a brush with Trish Gaseous.
Oh, and as Donna pointed out so eloquently, she presented the Gemini award for Best Comedy to the show, wait for it, Corner GAS. Ha, ha, ha. Oh and the lead actor is Brent BUTT. It all makes sense now. Kinda.
There was a red carpet and everything. ET Canada was even on
hand to ask all those tough questions like, "What are you wearing?" and "Who are you dating?" and "How does it feel to be here?". You know, the kind of shit that is important to all of us. Those are the ET Canada mic monkeys in the front of the pic on the right. Monkey's are funny.Okay the show goes off great, we tear out all the cable we just got done putting into the building, and I decide to go to this party that SaskFilm is putting on in the sound stage over at
the CBC. Not a bad gig. It was the official wrap party for the show. Here is bozo the clown, me, in all my work clothes crashing a ritzy party. Nice. FREE BOOZE. That is all that needs to be said. Matt Wright, of the Regina Wrights, was my wing man, or maybe I was his, no matter. Oh, please welcome Matt into the TT fold with open arms. He is a good guy that I have worked with at the CCMA's and the Gemini's. He is from Sri Lanka, not sure why I know that, but I do. Anyway, I managed to get a brush with Greatness photo with Ultimate Fighter Georges St. Pierre and Matt was VERY jealous, not really but it makes a better story, so I got one with him and GSP also. He also got one with Ron Maclean. Very cool.
So to recap, I did not get the holy grail, the BWG pic with Georg Stromboulopolous but I did get to meet him breifly. He is very cool and the real deal. I did not get Matt's holy grail BWG pic with Cory Haim. However, I did get farted on, and blamed for said fart by Trish Gaseous. Not a bad weekend. Not a good one, but not bad. Oh, wait, I did get my pic with Evangeline Lily, you know the chick from Lost. Nice...
NEXT: Marty Frey, of the Hollyweird Freys, sent me this pic and this note the other day....
Chris,
Can you pick out the kid that has got to be your illegitimate child?
These cute little tykes were told to "make funny faces for the camera".
The little tyke has learned by this early age - something that took his possibly father years to come up with..
Yes - I'm talking about... THE DOUBLE GUNS!
Marty
What do you mean Marty? Where would you get the idea that that kid takes after me? I think you are dreaming. Wake up.
Have a great week!!!!
