Okay so I wasn't perfect, but I was close...

The first round is in the books and man was it a gooder. That Blackhawk, Godless flames series was awesome. We can all now enjoy the playoffs that much better now that the flames are done. I hate those guys.

The Hurricanes Devils series was great also. The Rangers showed us all how to choke it out and how to act very unprofessional. Sorry Hauser, but your boys blew.

How did I do, well let's check. Well I was 6 for 8 in picking. I missed the Vancouver series because the Canuckelheads finally showed up for the playoffs and the biggest choke team ever, the San Jose Sharks proved that winning the Presidents trophy doesn't mean shit in the second season. I hate the Mighty Ducks, I hate the Mighty Ducks, I hate the Mighty Ducks. Shitty movie, shitty team. Oh and for the record Preacherman was 4 for 8. Loser. Better luck next time.

Second round picks, here they come...

EASTERN CONFERENCE:

BOSTON BRUINS (1) vs CAROLINA HURRICANES (6)

Now we have a huge series here. Huge. Both of these teams never say quit. Boston is a punch you in the mouth as they whip you team and Carolina plays along the same lines. Carolina also is Ric Flair's team so this makes it a bit harder to pick. My gut says Carolina but my head says Boston. Gotta go with the gut. Carolina in 7


WASHINGTON CAPITALS (2) vs. PITTSBURGH PENGUINS (4)

This one is tough also. I don't like how the Russians play hockey. They have too much skill and are a little too arrogant. Ovetchkin is an amazing player along with his linemates, BUT, I think that the Penguins have the edge in goalies. That goes a long way in this time of the year. I am going to take Preacher's boyfriend Sid the Kid and the Pens in 6.

WESTERN CONFERENCE

DETROIT RED WINGS (2) vs ANAHEIM MIGHTY DUCKS (8)

We all know how much I hate these two teams. So I will just keep this one short. Trev and Preacher, I hate saying this. Wings in 7. I feel dirty.

VANCOUVER CANUCKS (3) vs CHICAGO BLACKHAWKS (4)


The Canucks are another one of those dissappearing teams. Luongo has been playing out of his mind lately and the Sedin sisters have hiked up their skirts and started to play. That said, I love the Blackhawks and the skill on that team. Backed by the Bulin Wall that team can be unstoppable. Youth is the only thing they have going against them. That can be helped by the noise of the United Center but they don't have home ice. The Canuckleheads do. Wow, this one is very tough. I am sticking with the Hawks. Chicago in 7.


Well there you have it, the sure fire picks for the second round of the NHL playoffs. Again, call your bookie and make your bets. I love being right.

Now, GET BACK TO WORK!!!

Breaking News, TT Nation member now employs Jake Plummer...

That's right, you heard it here almost first. Jake Plummer now is an assistant coach for the Sandpoint Bulldogs. He works with TundraTalk Nation member John Trana, of the Sandpoint Trana's. As you can see Plummer's former employers include the Denver Broncos and the Arizona Cardinals.

Rumours say that Jake accepted much less than the 13 million that Tampa had offered him. When reached for comment earlier this evening Coach Trana had a lot to say. He is optimistic that Jakes competitive nature will rub off on his team and lead them to the promised land.
TundraTalk caught up with coach Trana and he gave us this EXCLUSIVE interview about the recent aquisition..

TundraTalk: Is Jake Plummer moving to Sandpoint?

JOHN TRANA: Jake moved here after he retired and his brother is the sports editor for the local daily B. He also grew up in Boise area.

TT: How did this happen? Who approached him?

JT: When I coached in the Triumphant sports bowl his brother interviewed me and off the record I mentioned that we would be interested in him (Eric) or his brother Jake to coach on our team at any compacity.

TT: What number will he be wearing?

JT: Coaches don't get numbers but he does get to get yelled at from the fans who think we made the wrong call.

TT: Was the contract negotiations difficult or easy?

JT: Jake is a low key guy. A hat and a tshirt is all he is looking for.

TT: Did he have a problem with the Bulldogs extremely tight facial hair code? How about his mullet.

JT: He loves the extra facial hair we require. Its like taking a vacation from yourself. The mullet is tougher...... lets face it the mullet is hard to sell to anyone. He is all for the sideburns, which is a welcome change

TT: Will there be a move to give all the coaches cool nicknames like 'The Snake'?

JT: Oh Yes. Some of the names we are kicking around include

Head coach Mitchell, "Kid Mitch", Asst Head Coach Trana " The Grand Po bay", the D Coordinator Mclaughlin "The potato Famine"

TT: Are you sure those are cool?

JT: They may not be cool, but remember your in Northern Idaho.

TT: How does it feel having a former NFL'r on your team?

JT: As a coach it is exciting. the players are very excited about catching passes from an all pro.

TT: How will that first meeting go?

JT: WR's this is our new Qb coach Plummer. Coach Plummer do you have any experience coaching football?

NO?

Hmmm, Well have you ever played QB?

YES

Well I guess that is something.

Did you play in HS?

YES

Goood, were you a running QB.

A LITTLE BIT

Did you play in College?

YES, I WAS PRETTY GOOD

really??? Did you get Drafted?

YES, I PLAYED IN THE NFL AT AZ AND DENVER!

That's great, now go set up those cones for our drills ROOKIE"

and oh yeah new coaches bye the beer after our wins!!

STATE CHAMPIONS!!!!

There you have it. Another TundraTalk exclusive. This truly is a huge news organization. Get used to it.

If you would like to see what the Sandpoint Bulldogs have to offer just watch this video prepared by yours truly for their season ending banquet last year....


Sandpoint Bulldogs from hamiltongbp on Vimeo.



Once again the only news source you need is TundraTalk.

Oh, yeah, check this out. Someone in Toronto is selling Jeff Finger T Shirts. Not sure if I want one.

Oh and better late than NEVER, Preacherman, of the Pulaski Preachermen, drops by to give his two cents on the playoffs. Preach on brutha...

I loved the Bruins hockey video! Reminds me of the times I took out this chick who is an Avs fan (may God have mercy on her soul, and mine for taking her out). Never felt so dirty in my life. As for my picks here it goes:

Boston vs Montreal
In the words of DX, I got two words for ya ... f**k Kessel. I know he kicked cancer's ass and all, but ask any Badger fan and they'll tell you the same. I hate Boston almost as much as Colorado because of him. Should be a great series though, old time hockey! Price hasn't turned out what everybody thought he would be but Habs in 5.

Rangers vs Caps
This is a wierd one. I saw the first game and the Rangers were playing playoff hockey and the Caps were just playing regular season hockey. Even though The Caps have the all-everything Alex Ovechkin, in the end I feel their goaltending will let them down. Rangers in 6

Carolina vs New Jersey
This is the second coming of the "2 kids and a goat line". The line of Langenbrunner and former Fighting Sioux' Travis Zajac and Zack Parise is great! Lots of talent that isn't afraid to muck it up a bit. Goaltending is on NJ's side. With Brodeur passing the NHL's all time greatest sieve for the most wins he can now focus on the job at hand. Can't forget about Scotty Clemmenson either! Devils in 5. (How do you do the plurl possesive of Sioux???)

Flyers vs Penguins
I absolutely love hatred series. Flyers hate everybody especially the Penguins. Should be an awesome, physical, dirty series with some nice goals thrown in. I have a total mancrush on Crosby. A pretty boy who is the NHL's best with the puck who will throw down. Too much talent on the Penguins in the end. Crosby, Malkin, Guerin, and Fleury (Marc-Andre not Theron, God I miss Theron!!!). Last year's finals were a dream come true for me. Penguins have been my second favorite team since the days of Frances, Mario, and Jagr, even before the 2 girls that were Penguins fans I dated. Wow, more ex-girlfriends? Maybe I need to seek professional help. Penguins in 7.

Mighty Ducks vs Sharks
Even though the Mighty Ducks have the only former Green Bay Gambler with this name on the cup, Ryan Carter ... former Badger and sewer-Waterloo Blackhawk Joe Pavelski of the Plover Pavelski's will get things turned around
and take it in 5. And yes, I know the Turtle plays for them.

St. Louis vs Vancooter
To tell you the truth, I really don't care who wins this one. With Brad Winchester and TJ Oshie on the Blues I guess I'm kinda leaning toward them.

CalGARY vs. Chicago
I get a kick every time Barry Melrose says Calgary. I agree with Sign Boy for once, I love seeing Badgers South, err I mean the Blackhawks, back in the Playoffs. With former Thunder Bay Flyer Patrick Sharp, Nikki Bruish's brother (Adam), and the best player to come out of the WCHA in a while, Jonathan Toews, (PEOPLE, learn how to say his name! It's pronounced TAES!) they will be too much for Calgary to handle. Hawks in 6.

Blue Jackets vs Detroit
My Wings are God's gift to hockey, all of sports for that matter. With Ty and all they have, Wings take the Cup in 16.

Mike Banaszynski

Now GET BACK TO YOUR WEEKEND.

NHL Playoff picks. Call your bookie and follow my lead...

Joel Witte, of the DC Witte's, sent me a link to the above ad campaign for the Boston Bruins. Freaking amazing. Laughed my ass off. There are three of them and I will put them in this post as we go along. Thank you Joel. You rule.

Okay, as you know, I am somewhat of a prognosticator. Yup, that was a pretty big word. Hope you enjoyed it, I did. Therefore I cannot go into this playoff season without telling you what WILL happen. If you care to remember, and I think some of you don't, I was perfect last year in the first round. PERFECT. Read it and weep. Well, I plan on doing better this year. As I said earlier, call you bookie, and bet the house. Here they are, the winning picks for this years first round.

EASTERN CONFERENCE:

BOSTON BRUINS (1) VS MONTREAL CANADIENS (8)

This one is almost a no brainer. Bruins are mean, tough, have great goaltending, and can score at will. They also have one of the two players I ever saw bend over to get through the visitors locker room door in Edmonton. Chara is a monster and everytime he came in and out of the door of the room at Rexall Place he had to literally bend over to get out. The other guy who had to do that was Eric Boogaard. These two teams hate each other so this will be entertaining, but it will be short. Bruins in 6.

Here is another of their ads...



PITTSBURGH PENGUINS (4) VS. PHILADELPHIA FLYERS (5)

This one is a bit tougher. The Penguins are playing great hockey right now in fact no one has been hotter in the East. BUT, I think the Flyers are another team that will punch you in the mouth while they beat you to the net. I like how they play hockey. A Bruins Flyers series would be great. Sid the kid might have something to say about it though so I am going to go with my heart and not my head on this one and pick the Penguins in 7.

Oh and if there are any Malkin fans out there I have a couple of McDonalds Malkin mini helmets that were only available here in Canada. Drop me a line if you want one.

NEW JERSEY DEVILS (3) VS. CAROLINA HURRICANES (6)

This series I probably will not watch a single game so I do not care about it much. I have never been a fan of the Devils and on that same note Ric Flair loves the Canes so I must also. Hurricanes in 5.

WASHINGTON CAPITALS (2) VS NEW YORK RANGERS (7)

Alex Ovetchkin once ducked us at Rexall for an interview. He went as far as not riding the bus with his team and getting security to lock down the back hall so he could sneak out the back door and get in a taxi. Wasted a lot of my time that night since the lame ass reporter I worked with would not just let it go. Now that I have my rant out of the way, I will tell you that in the same breath I like to watch Avery play hockey. He is a jack hole that does and says some really dumb shit, but he goes hard on the ice. I like the Caps in this one for several reasons. One being that I want Joel Witte to be able to cover the more than one round of the Stanley Cup playoffs and the other being that I just don't think Lundquist can stop the Russians on this Caps team. Sorry Hauser, Capitals in 6.

WESTERN CONFERENCE

SAN JOSE SHARKS (1) VS. ANAHEIM MIGHTY DUCKS (8)

This one is easy. Chris Pronger is a A-Hole and the Ducks, I will always refer to them as Mighty, were named after a shitty movie. San Jose in 5.

CHICAGO BLACKHAWKS (4) VS. THE GODLESS CALGARY FLAMES (5)

This one is going to be awesome. It is great to see the Hawks back in the playoffs. In fact since my team is not in this year, I will be wearing my Chelios number 7 on game day. Deal with that Flames. Every talking head on TV here in Canada is picking the Flames, kinda like every talking head in ND loves the queens. Forget it, the Bulin wall owns the Flames and the Hawks have too many scoring options. Hawks in 6.

VANCOUVER CANUCKS (3) VS. ST. LUIS BLUES (6)

Again another team that has been absent from the dance for many years the Blues finally get back. I love Keith Tkchuk but I just don't know if they will be able to solve Luongo. The Blues are also the hottest team in the NHL going into the playoffs. This could spell upset since the Canucks usually suck in the playoffs. I am going out on a limb here Blues in 7.

DETROIT RED WINGS (2) VS. COLUMBUS BLUE JACKETS (7)

Okay, you all know the hate on I have for the Wings. Well this year the hate on has a new twist. Ty Conklin, of the Green Bay Gamblers Conklins, is now on this team. Whoa, this sucks. I want with all my heart to have a Gambler get his name on the cup. But I do not want to see the Dead Wings win another cup. What do I do? I hate myself, Wings in 6.

There you have it sure fire pics to win. Now GET BACK TO WORK.

Mish, Mash, March...

Okay, I have a bunch of things to get to, not to mention the new podcast starring Mitch Davis, of the Regina Davis'. If that is all you want to see or hear, just click on the link to the right or CLICK HERE and you can listen to the Podcast that does not suck.

I need to first get some mail out of the way. Steve Iverson, of the Moorhead Minnesota viqueen loving Iverson's, sent me a letter and some pics from his fight with the Red River last week.

As you all know, some of TundraTalk nations members have been under attack from the flooding in Fargo and Moorhead. Ivy is one of them and he took time out of the fight to take some pictures and share with the rest of the nation. Here is his note...


Chris,

Here are some photos of the “levee” we constructed at my friend’s house at 3131 Rivershore Drive in Moorhead. I haven’t checked since Sunday, but there were views of this and his neighbor Mark Vanyo’s place on CNN.com.

Pic 15 was a week ago today, when the requirement was to have temporary levees built to 41.

Pic 17 is looking straight back from where pics 15 and 18 were shot – beside the fish house on the deck. All joists were mounted to the existing 2x12 joists on the deck that are in turn mounted to the foundation wall of the house.

Pic 18 is shot at the same place as 15, except Saturday afternoon with the temporary measures built to 43. Note bracing, additional 1” plywood, and awesome detailing of lath finished nailed into the top 2x4 to hold the poly. And the water approximately 4” above where we left off in pic 15…

In Pic 17, note the patio level below. The elevation of the door into the basement down there is 32’. So when the river was at its high point, there was just about 9’ of water above you if you were in the hole checking pumps and heaters. Now THAT was eerie.

His permanent concrete dike is good to 39’, so it appears they will thankfully make it pretty much unscathed.

Respectfully Submitted,

Steve Iverson

Holy crap Ivy. That shit is amazing. It is just unbelievable how hight that water got. I am thinking, maybe this summer you come up and build me something in my backyard. Maybe an extension on my deck, a shed, or hell, just an addition to the house? Sounds good? Good. See ya this summer.

In the picture on the right is a pic of Grand Forks. That cement pilon in the water is where the high water mark was from the flood in 1997. In GF they have installed some huge walls to keep the water back since 1997 so as far as I know they have stayed mostly dry. In the pic on the right is one of Cabelas on the other side of the wall. Pretty amazing how bad ass that river is. These pics were taken by Darin Buri.

Shannon Just, Nick Chase, and Todd Holdman also battled the flood so I am looking forward to an update from them.

NEXT: Mitch Davis, of the Regina Davis', jumped into the podcast that does not suck and gets some right away. He did not shy away from smaking the others. In fact, he took a swipe at TundraTalk legend, Marty Frey. Yeah, he did.

GO AND HAVE A LISTEN. It is 12 minutes that you will not get back, but you might enjoy it. Oh and Marty, you are next so get your game face on, cause I don't play.

NEXT: From the, as Chad Walker (of the Toronto Walkers) calls it, 'Only you Peterson', file. Last week I had a few, as they say, moments. You know the ones, the ones where you just have no idea why you do something but you do it and it just does not work out.

Anyway, the first 'incident' happened on Wednesday. There was this stand off in the hood here in Regina. Some dude got shot in the incident. So as you know this is big time stuff for TV news. Big time. Bleeds it leads. Anyway, I was dispatched to set up for a live shot from the hood. I always love to go to the hood. It is beautiful this time of year.

So as I was setting up the dish out of the corner of my eye I see a couple (girl and a guy) walking toward me and more importantly in front of the transmitting dish. You see the dish sends out microwaves that are probably not that healthy for you. So me being the nice guy I am I tell them not to walk in front of the dish. They go around and as they do the dude, who I might add looked like a hoodlum (I am bringing that word back), said "What is that?". I informed him what it was and I added that "It really isn't good for your baby." At this point he walks away and I go back to work.

About three seconds later he pops around the back of the van and says to me "Did you say baby?". I said yes, and he yelled at me "Dude, SHE AIN'T PREGNANT!"

Uh, sorry. At this point I am thinking that I am short for this world so I tell the engineer on the phone to stay on the line in case I get shot so he can call the cops. What a freaking idiot I am. I totally did not look at the girl that close, I just glanced and from a glance she looked preggo. Now that I know she is not I looked again and realized my error. Maybe I need to get my eyes checked.

Okay, so that story is funny, and yes, I am an idiot, but that one pales in comparison to the next one. Thursday morning I am sent to a press conference at the Lawson Aquatic Centre. The mayor of Regina and some smarmy MLA were announcing that they were going to spend some of my taxes on some repairs. The Lawson is a swimming pool. They set up the presser next to a door since the light in there sucks. They have a podium that I could not get my mic to sit on so I duct taped it to the podium. When in doubt, duct it.

The Mayor walks up to the podium and says "First thing. Whose duct tape is this?" I of course raise my hand. Real men are not afraid of admitting they use duct tape. He says "Nice work." Really sarcastically. He then moves on and the show ends.

I was in no hurry to stick around so I made my move to get out of there. As I went to pick up my jacket I squeezed behind a lady who was taking a picture. It was a tight fit because there was a pole behind her. On this pole was a button. I did not see the button. I proceeded to push the button with my ass. Well, here in lies the rub.

Apparently, the button turns on a shower. Which the lady who was taking the picture was standing right under. Yup, she got wet. Man am I a clutz. Needless to say the Mayor LOVED this. He was just gut laughing up a storm and asking everyone if anyone got video of it and basically humiliating me for my bonehead move.

I have to admit that it was kinda funny, but not really. The Mayor asked if I was sticking around and I said "Nah, I am just gonna have a shower and get out of here." That got a big laugh from the crowd and I just skulked out.

Well it did not take long for the story to get out, thanks Jenna, and later my boss called me to his office. Yup, I thought I was going to get it. Nope, he just wanted to have his kick at the can and wanted me to tell him the story myself. He laughed his ass of and said "We can't send you anywhere." Nice.

So there you have it. My week that was. I hope you enjoyed the stories. I will hopefully not have any more to share any time too soon.

Make sure you have a listen to Mitch's podcast. It is good. Oh, and have a great Easter Weekend.

Now, GET BACK TO WORK!!!!