Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Justice, in this case, is best served with an interception...

Okay, it has been a while since I was a regular poster on TundraTalk. I guess I could say that I have been busy, or that I have not been motivated, but that would be double talk. I will admit it has been a bit of a self imposed lack of writing. It would be a lie to tell you that the whole Brent Favre thing had nothing to do with it. Really it had a lot to do with it. That bastard really messed with me. I spent a lot of time praising Brett, whether it be at work, or at home, or here on the pages of this multi dollar website TundraTalk. Then he goes and turns into Brent Favre and goes and puts on the ugly purple dress and plays in minnesucka. That really kicked me in the ass. I was sick about it. THEN you add on the two drubbings during the season. That sucked. I hate Brent Favre.

Hey, I am not saying that I was down about my team and not wanting to talk about them. No way. I love the way the Pack played this year. They were awesome. Aaron Rodgers is the man and will be for a long time. I am just saying that it was just tough to get up for it when that dickhead was playing so well.

Oh, and some of you were NOT helping..

Hey Crispy,

Did you happen to catch the game today? I think if Green Bay had a better record and home field advantage they would have gone a lot deeper into the playoffs. I think 2 more wins in the regular season would have done it. Hmmmm....let's see, who did they lose to twice this year? Oh yeah, it was the Vikings led by the GREAT BRETT FAVRE!!!

Now that, my friend, is the exact definition of irony! I love Brett Favre and I will cheer for his team no matter what. When he finally cannot play anymore, I will once again cheer on your team. But, right now, the Packers will continue to be the idiots who gave up on the greatest quarterback of all time and tried to force him into retirement.


I have spoken.


P.S. The Riders pulled the biggest boner play of all time in the CFL. They, too, are idiots.


Go ESKS! Go FAVRE!


The Sandman


For the record Sandy Muldrew sucks. Big time.

Let me put something else straight also. BRETT FAVRE played for the Packers. BRENT FAVRE, the two timing douchebag traitor, plays for the minnesota viqueens. He sucks. Oh, I would be remiss not to say that this post might get a bit rough for my friends who are queenfans. Please do not take this personal, it is just business. And your business queenfan, is losing. ZINGO!!

So you can imagine how I feel after Sunday night. Let me break it down for you. I DID NOT WATCH THE GAME. I watched Live Free Or Die Hard for the 20th time. On basic cable no less. I have the DVD but watched it on TV. That is how much I did not want to watch the game. Great movie.

Don't get me wrong, during the commercials I flipped over to see what was up with the game. Score checking is all I did. I knew that the game was tied and going to overtime but still did not watch. I did however, switch over and get lucky and see Brent get slammed and hobble off the field. That was nice. Later, I, made a trip out in a snowstorm to get supplies at Shoppers Drug Mart. I did put the game on the satellite radio and listen to the OT on my way. I did my shopping and came out to listen to the kick. It would be an understatement to say that I was happy. I honked the horn all the way home and when I got home I did a few laps around the yard through 4 to 6 foot snow drifts. Donna was in the living room looking out the window and just shook her head.

The next morning I told McKenna that the vikings had lost and she said, in a very satisfied and confident voice...GOOD. She then went on to explain that when Brent was with the Packers he was the best ever and now he just sucked. I love that girl. She has a good head on her shoulders.

Now, lets talk about the game. It is only fitting that Brent threw an interception to lose the game for the queens. His last pass as a Packer was an INT, his last pass as a Jet was an INT, and from what people told me, his last pass as a Falcon was an INT. Only fitting that his last pass as a queen is an INT. Or is it his last pass? Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. The off season 'will he or won't he' drama is all yours queenfan. ALL YOURS. You deserve it. It is not like you losers need anything else to worry about. For the record I think he will shut it down. Why not? Because, and I have said this before, THE qUEENS WILL NEVER WIN THE SUPER BOWL. NEVER. Put it in the bank. Why should he come back to be disappointed again? Zingo.

I will also make a few predictions for the future of the queen team. Other than they will be playing in LA within a few years. I am betting that a few of those other losers on the team, with their chest puffed out from their 'sucessful' season this year, will go out and do something stupid like drive drunk, shoot someone (or themselves) in a strip club, drive up Hennipen avenue with a cop on the hood, or rent a sex boat. Seriously, this will happen. But we all know if you play for the queens and break the law in minnesota, some a-hole season ticket holding judge will let you off the hook. The cheating, steroid using, whiny, Williams brothers can attest to that.

I mean really, do you think that Sidney "I am not Jerry" Rice, Vinny Shiancoe, and Pansy Harvin are really that good? Hell no. Brent Favre made them better. Those kids right now are believing all their press clippings and their egos are about as big as that stupid dome they play in. They are one rum and coke away from a DUI or one lap dance from a bullet in the foot. One of those ass clowns will be in jail before training camp. Guaranteed. If the douchebag traitor does not come back, these guys again become just average players in the NFL.

Another thing I can, and will, predict, is that this team will be mired in futility for as long as they play football inside. They have not won a big game since they moved indoors and won't as long as they STAY indoors. Build yourself an open air stadium, and then all bets are off. The weather is an X factor that will always help you. Believe that. Even still I think the morons that are in charge of that team, if they get the tax money to build the stadium, will build a covered one. Morons.

Now that I have all that off of my chest. Let's make fun of them some more. As you all know, I am a regular on a show in Des Moines called Sound Off with Keith Murphy. Keith has been having me on his radio show on KXNO this year off and on to rile up the locals with my special brand of superfandom. Well, he contacted me on Monday and I went on the show. What follows is Chris from Green Bay being awesome...

I must put a disclaimer on it.

This show contains views and opinions that are truly awesome and always right. If you are a queenfan, or a person who wears purple on a regular basis, you may not want to listen to this. If you are awesome and smart, listen away.


Chris From Green Bay on KXNO from hamiltongbp on Vimeo.


Marty Frey sent me this pic on Tuesday. Apparently there has been a recall of all the Brent Favre jerseys. Very funny and appropriate... I mean really. Look at that jersey. That is not ugly, it is ooooooooogly. HOW can anyone put that on. It just screams "I am a loser. Please kick me in the stones." Wait, the queens do that to their own fans EVERY year. Just when they think they got over, BAM, right in the stones. Zingo.

Really, for the first time in my life in this postseason I was forced to cheer for America's Crackwagon, the DallASS Cowboys. Shame on me. Shame on Brent Favre.

Oh, and remember when Brent said he thought this queen team was the best he had ever played with? Even better than the 96 world champion team? Yeah, I would like to ask him if he still believes that, you know since, THAT TEAM ACTUALLY WON A SUPER BOWL AND THIS ONE DID NOT!!! You suck Favre, you and your weak attempts at team unity. I remember that act when you said that about the last few years you had in Green Bay. Your story is getting old, just like your arm. Go away. Douchebag traitor.

Speaking of douchebags, here is one for the ages. I am sure that if you have been to or watched a queen game this year, you have seen this guy...He calls himself 100% cheese free. His name is Syd Davy. Can't even spell Sid right. Douche. Anyway, he is from Winnipeg no less and he likes to think of himself as the biggest queen fan of all. Check the picture to the left. Looking out the window longingly at the minneapolis wasteland. Nope, dipshit, there are no Super Bowl Trophies out there. Or do you think he is longing for a long, slow, wet kiss from Brent? Anyway, I happened upon this loser because the Winnipeg CBC did a story on him and someone at work, trying to get me all riled up showed it to me. Jackass. Here it is...



What a jerk off. Now, don't get me wrong, there are jerk offs at Lambeau also. Like the Packalope guy. I am not a fan of those guys either. I do however like the Saint Vincent Lombardi dude. He is cool. Did I tell you I saw him in PHX at the game I went to? He was there. I often wonder where these people get the money to travel and act like idiots in other stadiums.

Anyway, this guy, the Cheese Free guy, has a profile on a queen site. Really funny read. Not sure exactly how it was written, or if the guy even knows how to read. CLICK HERE to read one really long paragraph of a whole bunch of nothing. I tried to read the whole thing but got a headache after about two minutes of reading. He really needs to learn how to hit RETURN on the keypad.

He also has tattoos on his arm from every time a queen jumped into the stands and he caught them (of course stolen from the Lambeau Leap), queenfan is NEVER original. But instead of putting a 'too on that has a date or score, he puts the team that the vikings were playing on his arm. So now he has tattoos of OTHER TEAMS LOGOS on his arm? What are you thinking? Oh yeah, you aren't.

So where am I going with this? Well, I just wanted to get a bit of this out there because where ever I went this season I was asked about the Brent Favre thing. I fly the colors almost every day so when someone saw me they usually wanted to know what I thought. I even had a Highway Patrolman ask me as he was giving me a warning for driving too fast on the way back from ND. He was not a queen fan so he let me go. I am trying I guess to get some finality on this whole subject so as to not have to bring it up again. I am sorry to all my friends, if they still are friends, for the venom I spilled in this post. Remember this is just business. If you had a multi dollar website like me devoted to the queens (why would you waste your time, Zingo.) I would expect the same from you.

Oh yeah, and I still don't have to capitalize their name. Win one, and maybe I will. That trophy case will be empty for a LONG time.

1 comment:

Todd Holdman said...

Excellent post. I love this blog.