Thursday, August 20, 2009

The Response to the Favre post is as expected...

The reaction to Favre's act of high treason has been swift. Which is expected. I also suspect that Brent has read my letter and spent a couple of hours crying on the floor of his bathroom. Check this LINK. Fricking funny. Dickipedia entry for Brent. Very, very funny. Once again, the funny queen pics on this site are from Packers Palace dot com. Best site, besides this one, for your Packers stuff. I got a link to this song also. Funny.

Since TundraTalk is the multi dollar news organization and website, we of course will be covering this event with all it's resources. Shannon Just, of the Fargo Just's, will be attending the game tomorrow night and will file a report shortly after. Shannon, take it away.

Ringleader,

Strange turn of events. My dad, brother, and I are going to the cities this weekend. Originally we were going just to tool around and check out Valley Fair.
My dad calls me tonight and says he got tickets to the game tomorrow night. So I guess I will be seeing "Brent" in the purple 4 jersey. Thought you should know.

The drama around all this is so disappointing that I am sure the game will be also. I am going for KC by the way.

So anyway, If I get within ear or finger shot of Brent; I'll call him Brent from you along with a "YOU SUCK!!!" Just cause I know you'd want it that way.
The thing I DO appreciate about Favre at this point is his age. I mean imagine trying to do what he is doing with our 40 year old bodies. You gotta give him that much.

I just have a feeling he is going to get hurt bad this season though. But if by some slight chance he is able to pull it off and have a winning season- that would say a lot for human longevity.
Anyway that is also going to be the premise of my new blog. Health and Longevity. Should be up and running sometime soon.

Later,
Shannon

Thanks Shannon and if you have a chance record your you suck and send that to me with some pictures. I would love that. Brent deserves at least a YOU SUCK.

Next up is James Grandy, of the Minot Grandy's. He likes what he read and has a bit of constructive criticism...

Dear TT, The publisher of this blog has a bad attitude.

that was the best edition of TT to date.

James Grandy


Thank you James, I will take your advice in consideration. Next up is Danny McIntosh, of the Regina McIntosh's. He is a Giants fan and has been very considerate to me since the NFC Championship game that I attended. Danny, the floor is yours...


Don't worry Peterson.

You'll get the last laugh. Be happy Rosenfels
isn't leading the Vikings, and I'll tell you why. Rosenfels has a bit of gunslinger in him and he can get it down field. Plus, he's not a big enough name to get the Purples out of Adrian Peterson (no relation.......I don't think) mode.

The legend will walk in there,
freelancing like he's 30, stealing touches from the second coming of Eric Dickerson and launching 50 yard bombs 45 yards down field turning into 80 yard pick 6's.

12 million dollars.
40 year old arm.

No training camp.

9-7.

No playoffs.

Priceless.

Wait a minute. Actually it's 12 million dollars.


Danny Mac


Danny Mac is a local news slinger here in Regina. He seems to know what he is talking about and he also seems to know the Mastercard Ad fairly well.

Next up is another Reginaite Kyle Bender, who will be getting his ass kicked by me in my new fantasy football league this year. Go Kyle...

I enjoyed reading your blog on Favre. Personally I think he's lost his damn mind. I know you don't like Thompson but the more Favre acts like a waffling diva, the more I think Teddy was right to cut ties. Regardless the ratings should be through the roof for the Nov 1st game in Lambeau huh?

Later!
Kyle Bender

You are correct on one thing and wrong on the other. Ted is a jackass and is the SOLE reason Favre is acting like this, and yes those ratings will be fairly high.

Last but not least Ivy, of the Moorehead Ivy's, sent us a bit more of his opinion. As always Ivy is dead on point. Ivy...

I know you are still one of those true Packer fans Lord Favre spoke of at the press conference when he said “Is it weird? Yes. Will it be different? Yes. You can’t take away 16 years of what happened in GB.”.

I’m just happy Adrian won’t have to fight 8 or 9 guys in the box with #4 in there.


Respectfully Submitted,

Steve Iverson


Steve is always so respectful. Thanks for all the input. TundraTalk would not be what it is without TT nation.

Now GET BACK TO WORK!!!

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Shawn Hauser is the first member of the Posse...

FIRST: First things first. I need to give this to you first. CLICK HERE and watch the trailer for the new Trailer Park Boys movie. I cannot wait for this one. Highlight of the trailer - "I'm gonna piss on him Julian. Take the wheel.". Classic. I just about pissed myself laughing at that.

NEXT: Today is the day. Almost like Christmas in a way. Can you feel it? Like the day of Super Bowl XXXI. A day that is filled with excitement and tension. Today is the day I announce the first member of the most ELITE squad of homeboys who will walk the planet as one. A posse to end all posses. An Entourage to end all Entourage's. It is just like Brett Favre to try to upstage us on such a big day. Dick. We will discuss this more later, but first...

As you can see in the photo above that the man who went last, is the man who is picked first. Shawn Hauser, of the Green Bay Hauser's, aka Hauserinskinov, will be the first man to walk side by side with five other guys who all share the same vision. Five guys that will aspire to be THE ultimate. Five guys who every TV show, every awards show, every upscale sports bar, every major sporting event, and every movie premiere will want us to attend.

First and foremost if Hauser was to decide to retire he would not drag it out year after year. He would just shut it down. If you are a member of this elite squad there will be no posturing to leave at the end of the year and join another rival posse.

On that same note, as leader of this posse, there will be no signing of new and up and coming members to sit behind you. I will not be talking about that kid being the 'future' of the posse all the while undermining the current members status in the posse and then eventually pushing him out. If said member wants to come back after a short retirement I will not tell him he can 'compete' for a spot in the posse. That spot is HIS only.

Okay, sorry that I went off on a bit of a rant, but this Favre thing is bugging me. Hauser, as has been discussed at length here in TT, is from Green Bay and is the guy who called that brilliant play two year ago during the Seachicken game at Lambeau where Favre nearly fell to the ground as he passed the ball. Exactly as Hauser drew that up, and called it in to Favre's helmet radio.

What is Hauser's role in this posse? Well let me tell ya. Hauser will be the guy who will drive. Since he has spent most of his life driving self absorbed reporter divas he can handle this position with no problems. He will be the go to guy when the group needs something and needs it now. With his athletic ability and street sense he will have no problems finding us some Funyuns at 2 am in Sheboygan if called upon to do so. Now don't get me wrong, Shawn is not a gopher just to be sent on errands for the rest of us. In this posse it is all for one. We will all gladly jump up to do what the collective wants, we all accept our roles. Hauser is also our hook up for extreme sports if we need a weekend of adrenaline rush.

One plus on Hauser's side is that he is a hockey fan and can discuss it intelligently. For example if some pussy, like say Gary Bettman, decides to say something about how fighting needs to be eliminated from the game he can stand up, be recognized, and tell Bettman he is a tool and he needs to crawl back under his mommy's skirt and shut the hell up.

So, lets see how the man himself feels about this appointment...Hauser, take it away.

Dear TundraTalk,

Well well......What would GW....George Washington (not that other freak that ran the US of A into the ground) have said when his mug was blasted into the side of a chunk of rock? Probably....................ah yah, duh! Bought freakin' time you pushed the plunger and put me up for all to see......and praise!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I could essentially stop right here, nuff said!

Nahhhhhhhhhhhhh, it is truly an honor to be on the rock (as I will refer to it) with my good man the American-Canadian. A great guy that would have yer back anytime and any place, and I reciprocate that feeling! That my friends is what the rock is all about, having your boys backs.

No sense in running smack on the rest of ya'll's......looking forward to seeing who all will make up the complete rock, who else will get blasted on the granite?!

I'd write more but as I speak OLD number 4 is yet again getting the itch to jump off the tractor and lace 'em up.....let's be honest here, that freakin' itch will still be wreaking havoc with him when they are lowering the wood box 5 feet south.....but what the hell...........he provides job security for us media types here in TITLETOWN!

Cross your fingers and hope like hell....that you too can park your mug on the big ol' rock.......time for an Ice Cold Pabst Blue Ribbon.

Hauserinskinov

Nice job Hauser. You did yourself proud in your interview and you deserve to be in this elite group. I will be publishing the rules and regs of the posse soon so stayed tuned fort that. Now if any of you would like to give your congrats to the man, or tell me I am wrong to add him, send me a note and we will publish your thoughts and or concerns.

NEXT:

So Number 4 decided today to come back out of retirement to play for the worst franchise in NFL history. Oh, and click on that last link and look at what comes up. 'Are you ready 4 some football?' it says. Well, I have not seen any good football out of Minnesota since, well, FOREVER. Now I know you could get confused with that last statement and think it is the Bengals. Nope, at least they had Boomer, the queens had nothing and liked it. I know we have discussed this at length here in TT, but I feel compelled to say it all again. Ted Thompson is the reason this happened. Ted himself, not Favre. Had Ted just let the man play, we would not be talking about this now. Just have another look at the pic of him and Mike McDumbshit as Favre is calling it quits. That does not look like two guys who are grateful for all that Favre gave them, but two guys who are scared shitless as to what Favre is going to say. Oh, and Deanna really looks happy to be sitting next to them doesn't she?

Favre is just so set on sticking it to Ted that he is willing to tarnish his legacy. No I am not talking about playing another year and playing poorly. I am talking about putting on the ugly purple jersey and playing for a lost cause. The queens will never earn that capital letter from me. I vow that I will never have to capitalize their name until they win the Super Bowl. Since they will never do that, with or without Favre, I will never have to capitalize their name. Suck it Minnesota.

I do want you to know that this is an equal opportunity website. I have from time to time let those who wear the purple give their opinion. So therefore I have some statements from a few queen fans who hang out here from time to time...

First up is a west coast queen fan. Shane T Keller, who has been involved with the color purple on many levels. As a queen fan, and as an employee of 'His Purple Highness', Prince. That's right, you may as well color his life purple. Take it away Shane....

Dear TundraTalk,

I could take the course of good sense team building philosophy. How it would be better to invest in a younger quarterback that we could build upon and to worry about possible discord in the
team ranks and Farve's hot and cold running attitude etc etc.
But no, I am taking the course of unabashed spite and cynicism! I want to dress up the Golden Cheddar Boy of Greenbay in Purple (the color of royalty you know) parade him through the streets of Greenbay Wisconsin and then park his old tired $10 million dollar ass at the water cooler. I don't care if all he does this season is shoot Gatorade into Adrian Peterson's mouth after every down. This will be the best season ever!!

Put that on your Brat and Eat It!!


Shane

Thank you Shane for your unbiased and calm statements. You are really on the fence on this one aren't you? Purple is the color of royalty, but it is also the color of little girls and princesses. As for that parade you are going to have in Green Bay? We had one of those back in 1996, it was called the SUPER BOWL PARADE. Not sure if you have ever seen one of those in Minnesota. Oh yeah that's right you HAVEN'T. Deal with that.

As for him getting gatorade for Adrian, kinda appropriate that he is wearing purple with a name like that, I am all for it. In fact I will agree with you. I think he should ride the pine.

Although I would love to see Ted Thompson eat a little crow if Favre pulled a victory out of his ass against the Pack. Do not take that as me rooting for the queens, THAT WILL NEVER HAPPEN. What that is me rooting against Ted Thompson.

Next up is Steve Iverson, of the Morehead Iversons, and his two or three cents...

Chris:

Here’s my random thoughts regarding the alleged signing of Brett Favre to the winningest professional sports franchise in the 1990’s. No rings, but best winning percentage. Check it out if you don’t believe me.

1.)1. I saw Rosenfels in real life at the first live intra-squad scrimmage on 8/7. I said then he should be the starter this season and that was verified at the first pre-season game last Friday in Indy. Why spend 10 million for getting the same end result (early playoff exit if everything goes good)?

2. 2. That same end result means the Brad Childress era will sometime shortly after the new year 2010.

3. 3. Who gets cut to make room? I say T Jack is gone.

4. 4. This is entirely a move to get an extension to the Dome lease and leverage getting a new stadium deal pushed through the State. They’ll be able to say “we’ve sold out the dome for the last 11 years, blah blah blah” and try to get a new one. Zigmunt needs to open his checkbook a bit more, then they might say “here’s a quarter of a billion”.

5. 5. As always, I will still look forward to the big discounts on Viking apparel right around Christmas as they are either already out or soon to be out of the playoffs.

6. 6. Cheech Harvin is going to be a play maker not se-en since 1998 Moss.

That’s all I can come up with under all the pressure you put me under. Later.

Can you get Leinies in Saskatchewan?

Respectively Submitted,

Steve Iverson

Thank you Steve, for those honest and mostly truthful words. If I did not know you I would believe you were a Packer fan. Which would be okay with us if you wanted to switch. The NFL radio said that Sage had looked good (which is always relative when you are speaking about a queen QB) so far in camp so you are spot on on that comment. Childress will be gone next year, they will sell a lot of seats in that stupid dome, you will get cheap purple gear, not sure about Cheech Harvin, but he has to at least drive over a cop and ride a sex boat, and no I cannot get Leinies in Saskatchewan. Sorry about all the pressure, I just wanted you to bring it.

Well, I will leave you with this. Another open letter to Brent Favre. That's right, I know will refer to him as Brent Favre.

Dear Brent,

Well I guess you have gone and done it. You decided to let that bald Mr. Noodle look alike in Minnesucka talk you into playing again this year. You know what this means don't you? Did you weigh all the implications?

Did you consider all of us who have followed your career up until this point? Did you consider all of us who shelled out cash to buy number 4 jerseys, fatheads, bobbleheads, action figures, Favre pictures and footballs? Did you consider all of the people who have made the trek to Green Bay to eat at your restaraunt?

I guess not. You know that when you show up in Lambeau in that stupid Fu@king ugly ass purple jersey you will get your ass booed off.

I know that you are doing this mainly to stick it to Ted Thompson. I know, I hate the guy also. I hate him almost as much as the viqueens. Almost. On my list of hate he ranks just above Chris Duncan, American Idol, and rectal exams, and just below the viqueens, Hitler and hemorrhoids. Oh and by the way, it is only approrpriate that on the week that I have a procedure schedule to examine my point of exit, you decide to fu*k me
there , and all the other Packer faithful, two days before it.

Butt Brent has to do what Brent has to do. You go to Minnesota, you play for however long you can. Just let it be known that every Sunday when you put on that purple dress, that instead of me rooting for you and hoping that every time you throw the ball it is for six, I will be rooting for whatever defense is on the other side of the line will break your legs. LT on Theisman style, and I loved Theisman when I was a kid.

You suck Brent. There I said it. Are you happy?

Chris

Tuesday, August 04, 2009

Okay, I have a lot to cover so strap in...


Okay, I know I have been away for a while, and I will get to that shortly. But first, I will get to what you all have been patiently waiting for, or in Venckus' case IMPATIENTLY. The Entourage interviews. I completed the final interview about three weeks ago, Shawn Hauser, of the Green Bay Hausers. We discussed many things including, the Packers, WGBA, the Packers, Camera dude stuff, and Brett Favre. Now we here at TT have always maintained the fact that Shawn used to roam the sidelines at Lambeau and send in plays via hand signals to Number 4. All the while never really giving one shred of proof. Cause that is how we roll. Well, I was scouring the internet the other day when I saw this picture. BANG! Proof. There he is on the sideline right as Brett is running the play that he sent in. Deal with that haters. There is by no way any funny business with that photo. It is totally legit. As you can see with the Entourage photo on top, I am not that good with Photoshop, YET.

Anyway, if you want to listen to his interview CLICK HERE or just click the link up and to the right. Hauser kicked major ass on this one. He even said that he had not listened to any of the other ones so as to not be influenced or intimidated by the others. Well Hauser, now that yours is over, LISTEN TO THE DAMN PODCASTS. I am not doing this for myself. Or am I?

Okay, now that I have had time to listen to all of them, compare my notes, eat a few bags of Funyuns, and watch the new season of Entourage, I will post the results. Yes, and I will do it in less than a year. I will drag it out a bit though, we do need some drama.

Just so you know what is at stake here. I will tell you. We will not just have a main posse, which will consist of five dudes and me. Six total. I am going to announce a 'Second Team Entourage'. Two total. Kinda like being Second Team All American. No shame, just if one of the boys in the main group is unable to fulfill his duties. For instance, if we are on our way to the Grammys, and for the sake of an example, Posse Member Number 3 has a conflict (which there are only a few excuses I will detail when I give out the Official Posse Handbooks) a call will be made via the bat phone for a back up. Whammo you are in the show.

Now, for those of you who may be picked for the second team, there is no shame in that. You will be kinda like the Packers Stock that they sold back in 1999. You are an official shareholder, and can attend the meetings, but you are not allotted a vote in the official proceedings. You are the shareholders in the company that is the Posse. Very important.

Okay. I will be announcing the Second team first and will have an announcement later in the week. Good luck to all who participated.

NEXT: The topic that has had the NFL network's panties in a bundle. Yes, the NFL network wears panties because they have yet to invest in REAL cameras for their so called camera guys at each team. Man their video sucks balls. Until they invest in real cameras I will consider them a 'panty wearing' network. Anyway back to the story, Brett Favre finally did the right thing. He decided to NOT put on the ugly purple jersey and sell out to the worst team in the history of the NFL the Minnesota viqueens. All the while they sold a shit pile of those number 4 jerseys to the hapless queen fans. Ha, that is almost as funny as the moron who tattooed 'Super Bowl XXXIII Champs on his arm, before the team even made it to the game. And then said he would just add another 'I' next year when they win that one. Moron. It is always 'next year' in queen land.

I am quite pleased in the outcome for several reasons. One being that I do not have to move the Favre Fathead to the garage. Or I do not have to take the Favre jersey off the wall. The other reason being is how he lead all of queen land on this wild goose chase for a whole summer then dumped on them. Kind of like the actual team does every season. HA.

Now the real question is why? Well I will tell you. I will take credit for this decision. Yup, I am not afraid to stand up and accept your thanks. You are welcome TT nation. You are welcome. I think it all goes back to the letter I penned, or typed, for him back when this ugly, nasty, and might I say, downright shitty rumour came out back in early May. I beleive in his heart last week after a great lawn mowing session, he sat back with a cold Leinie's (Honey Weiss or perhaps an Original), tuned in to Jesse James is a Dead Man, opened a bag of Funyuns, logged on to TundraTalk and re-read my plea. After all who can argue with my logic. I know Donna can't, or gave up trying, one of those two.

No one wants to play for the viqueens. That is a fact. Adrian Peterson, no relation, doesn't. He is just biding his time until he can get the big pay day and go to play for the Raiders and suck. His first choice on draft day was the Pack, it is a fact. Look it up, when you find it send it to me so I can read it for myself. Anyway, Favre is not a queen, in the literal putting on the purple jersey sense. He IS a bit of DRAMA Queen though. Thank you Brett for finally retiring. Now you can move on to Canton. No Brett, they do not have a team there you can play for.

NEXT: Where have I been since June 21? Well I will just break it down a bit. Since this is not a forum for me to just spout off everything I am doing (that is Facebook). This is a forum to spout of on the silly things I am doing and to wax prophetic on anything that is Packers related, or just to show everyone how really immature I am. I will just give you a short list and some pics and video...

Took a bit of a vacation to North Dakota and the Black Hills. Blew some shit up on the Fourth of July and then saw Mount Rushmore and some wild life. I was there when Greenpeace put the banner on the mountain but not at Rushmore that day. Missed it by that much. That would have been cool to see. The Black Hills were great fun had by all.





Went to a few Rider games and got on the score board several times. I am a superstar, oh and I know the right camera dudes, errrr persons. McKenna also performed at half time of one of the games with the Rider Cheer Team. That was awesome. Dakota yelled at a crazy fan for taking off his shirt and McKenna got really good at yelling Calgary Sucks. My kids rule.




Went to the lake and did some boating, swimming and grilling. We got a late start on the season this year but have been trying to make up for it. The weather has not be great but when it is we take full advantage of it. Love boating on the lake.





Took the kids to Buffalo Days for rides and greasy food. McKenna is fearless when it comes to rides and will ONLY ride the rides with her hands in the air. Chip off the old block. We also saw MC Hammer and I did a duet with him on the world wide hit, Turn This Mutha Out. Word, as the kids say these days. They still say that don't they? Check the video. Oh, and as for the bad video near the end, McKenna pulled my hat down over my eyes as she was sitting on my shoulders so that is my excuse. Deal with it.


Hammer at Buffalo Days 'Turn this Mutha Out' from hamiltongbp on Vimeo.



Whew, now that you are all caught up,

GET OUT OF HERE AND GET BACK TO WORK. I HAVE A POSSE TO PICK.