Best time of the Year and Wisconsin Friends...

Robby DuPuis, of the Minneapolis DuPuis, sent me a note with the pic above...

Hey man, just wanted to share a couple photos with you. A buddy and I went to the Target Center on Saturday to catch your boy Spike Lee. He's on a promotional tour for his Katrina/ New Orleans documentary. He spoke for a while and then did Q&A on anything that was asked. It was pretty cool. He talked about getting started in the biz and how he blew up after the Jordan/ Mars commercials, about how disastrous our administration is and how badly they botched the hurricane relief (the U.S. had supplies and relief to the Sri Lanka victims quicker than we had the same for the Katrina victims). It was cool to see him up close. He's a pretty smooth dude. Other than that, not much to report. Just not-so-patiently waiting for spring to arrive. Our photog staff took second place for N.P.P.A. Station of the Year and one of our photogs won Photog of the Year so that was cool. I didn't get in on the playoff fantasy pool 'cause I was too busy this week. Oh well.

Cool man. Spike is the man. I had a chance to meet him once in Green Bay back in 97. He was at a Packer game shooting some footage of Reggie White. At half time he was in the media food gym having a bratwurst, which just made him more cool to me, when I was going to go over and talk to him but I didn't. I just couldn't push up the courage to go and talk to him. I just could not think of what this white guy in Wisconsin could say to him without looking like an idiot fan. I respect his work too much. Also I did not want to take the chance that he was an a-hole and ruin my vision of him.

His doc about New Orleans is great. If you have a chance to see it do it. When the Levees Broke is what it is called. Worth every minute of the 4 or 5 hours long it is. It was on HBO.

Robby also mentioned that this is his favorite time of the year. Yup, mine too. It is the time of the year when the snow melts (and then it snows again here in Edmonton), the leaves grow back, the temps get higher, AND the hockey is for real. That's right, NHL playoffs. Whooooooooo!

Enjoy the most wonderful time of the year (NHL Playoffs) and say hi to the fam for me. Peace, robby.

I am not going to be chasing any of the games this year, at least not yet, so I get to watch more on the tube. I have actually joined a few playoff pools and I am actually going to give you my choices for the winners this year. It may not be the way it will go but this is the way I WANT it to go....

IN THE EAST

Buffalo Sabres vs NY Islanders

As much as I would like Ryan Smyth to win the cup and come back and drive it up and down Jasper avenue, they just don't have the firepower to beat Buffalo. Buffalo in 5.

New Jersey Devils vs Tampa Bay Lightning

I like the skill that TB has but I don't think they have the goaltending to beat Brodeur. I hate NJ, I hate NJ, I hate NJ, but they are going to win this one. Devils in 6.

Atlanta Thrashers vs New York Rangers

Atlanta has one of my favorite players of all time, Tkachuk, so I would like to see them win this one. Hauser is a big Ranger fan so I have to consider them. Jagr can go away as far as I am concerned. So I am going to pick Atlanta, even though I think the Rangers are going to win. Atlanta in 7. Sorry Hauser.

Ottowa Senators vs Pittsburgh Penguins

As I write this I am watching this game. This one is a toss up. Mitch Davis, of the my brother in law Regina Davis', is a huge Sens fan and Tom Preissing, of the TundraTalk and Green Bay Gamblers Pressings', is on the Senators. They are due, but, Sid the Kid is an amazing hockey player that could just rise up and get it done. I am going with the Senators in 5. Gotta go with my boy Preissing. He gave me one of his sticks last year during the playoffs (he was with the Sharks). That was awesome.


IN THE WESTERN CONFERENCE

Detroit Red Wings vs Calgary Flames

Okay, this one is the battle of the teams I hate with a passion. Doroshenko, of the Pilsner Beer Doroshenkos, is a Wings fan as is Preacher man. The Flames just all around suck the big one. They should not even be in this series, losing 5 of their last 6 games of the season. The Avalanche should be the team knocking the Wings out in the first round again. One lousy point. I can blame that one point on Roloson here in Edmonton. I will not be too mad at him because he is a Packer fan. Anyway, since I think the Flames will be lucky to win one of these games I am forced to say something that I should not have to, the Wings will win. Red Wings in 5. They both suck I just hope for injuries. Kinda like watching a game between the viqueens and the Bears, hope that the stadium just caves in on them, and all their fans.

Anaheim Ducks vs Minnesota Wild

We all know what happened last year with the Chris Pronger saga. I guess you can figure who I am rooting for in this one. Wait, Chris, you are rooting for a team from Minnesota? That is against your religion. I will just explain that when the North Stars left Minnesota back in the day, I lost the only team I would EVER cheer for. That is when I switched my loyalties to Colorado. Therfore when the Wild started up I kinda have a soft spot in my heart for them. Also Derek Boogard is a monster that I could watch play, or fight, 24/7. That dude is awesome. Not to mention he is a great guy. His brother watches Hockey Fights Dot Com to scout his potential opponents in future games and then sends him a scouting report to read. Nice. Obviously this series is already two games in with Anaheim in the lead 2-0 but I don't care. Homer series with Minnesota stealing one in Anaheim, Minnesota in 7.

Dallas Stars vs Vancouver Canucks

You can refer to the analysis of the last series to know that I HATE DALLAS. When they left Minnesota it hurt. That is all I have to say, Vancouver in 6.

Nashville Predators vs San Jose Sharks

I am not sure about this one, but I will go with the team that has a former Avalanche on it. Peter Forsberg is on the Preds and I know that dude is money in the playoffs. Look it up, I am not wrong. The Sharks have a lot of skill but I think the Preds are due. Plus maybe my boy Venckus, of the Nash Vegas Venckus', will score some playoff duckets and get to a game. Predators in 7.

That is it for now. I will give my predictions for the second round after I am wrong in the first.

I also found this on Preacher's blog. Funny things about Wisconsinites. Very funny...

True Wisconsin friends

FRIENDS: Tell you not to do something stupid when drunk

Wisconsin FRIENDS: Will post 360 degree security so you dont get caught peeing

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FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr. and Mrs

Wisconsin FRIENDS: Call your parents drunk as hell and tell them about the fat chick you tried to pick up

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FRIENDS: Hope the night out drinking goes smoothly, and hope that no one is late for the ride home.

Wisconsin FRIENDS: Know some wild shit will happen, and set up rally points and an E & E route. (true story)

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FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong.

Wisconsin FRIENDS: Will be sitting next to you saying, Damn...that shit was fun "

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FRIENDS: Cry with you.

Wisconsin FRIENDS: laugh at you

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FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.

Wisconsin FRIENDS: Steal each other ' s stuff so often nobody remembers who bought it in the first place.

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FRIENDS: Are happy that someone picked up a one night stand and leave them alone.

Wisconsin FRIENDS: Will Crawl naked into the room with a camera and hope for the tag team.

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FRIENDS: Know a few things about you.

Wisconsin FRIENDS: Could write a book with direct quotes from you.

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FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that ' s what the crowd is doing.

Wisconsin FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you.

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FRIENDS: Would knock on your door.

Wisconsin FRIENDS: Walk right in and say, "I'm home!"

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FRIENDS: Will try and talk to the bouncer when you get tossed out of the bar.

Wisconsin FRIENDS: Will buck up and go after the bouncer for touching you on the way out.

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FRIENDS: Will wish you had enough money to go out that night, and are sorry you couldn't come.

Wisconsin FRIENDS: Will share their last dollar with you, drag you along, and try to steal free drinks all night.
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FRIENDS: Will take your drink away when they think you've had enough.

Wisconsin FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say, "You better drink the rest of that shit, you know we don't waste. That's alcohol abuse!!!" HAHAHAHA !!!!

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FRIENDS: Want the money they loaned you back next week.

Wisconsin Friends: Can't begin to remember who owes who money after taking care of each other for so long.

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FRIENDS: Will say "I can't handle Tequila anymore".

Wisconsin FRIENDS: Will say "okay, just one more..." and then 2 minutes later "okay, just one more!".

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FRIENDS: Will talk shit to the person who talks shit about you.

Wisconsin FRIENDS: Will knock them the Fuck out!!

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FRIENDS: Will tell you "They'd take a bullet for you."

Wisconsin FRIENDS: Will actually take a bullet for you.

Here is another scene in the "Critically acclaimed" screenplay "A Nice Little Disaster"

EXT. GREAT FORKS -- MORNING
Tony drives up to the Armory just about 0400 in his Chevy 4x4 pickup with Raoul on the passenger seat. He has his National Guard uniform on. There are bunches of troops about and a lot of people running around trying to coordinate bodies to the right parts of town. The weather is gloomy and cold, but holding. Tony gets out of his truck and is greeted by a few troops with salutes and handshakes.

PRIVATE SNYDER
Good morning lieutenant. I see they wrangled you in on this one.

TONY
No, actually, I am just on vacation and thought I would go somewhere with a lot of sand and water.

PRIVATE SNYDER
The General is inside waiting for you.

TONY
Already, I'm an hour early.

PRIVATE SNYDER
Yeah, but to the General you are already...

Both say in unison.

TONY & PRIVATE SNYDER
An hour late.

TONY
Yeah I know. Talk to ya' later Snyder.

PRIVATE SNYDER
Good luck.

Tony walks inside the armory and is greeted by several city officials. At the end of a long table strewn with phones and paperwork the General is looking at a large map of the area. BRIG GENERAL JIM HANK is a large man with a short flat-top haircut. He is very intimidating, very boisterous. He is chewing on an uncut, unlit cigar. Also looking at the map was the Mayor of Great Forks, The Mayor of East Great Forks, and the Governor.

BRIG GENERAL JIM HANK
Good Morning...

The General looks at his watch. And smirks at Tony.

BRIG GENERAL JIM HANK
You are right on time.

Gestures to the city officials around him.

BRIG GENERAL JIM HANK
Lieutenant I'd like you to meet the Mayor of Great Forks Owen Patricks, the Mayor of East Great Forks Linda Strauss, and I believe you know the Governor.

TONY
Good morning, sir.

Pointing to the cigar.

TONY
(smirking)

Still trying to quit?

To the Governor.

TONY
How's it going Governor. Just like old times. Huh?

GOVERNOR TED SNYDER
Yeah, except we are dealing with water instead of a blizzard. When did you thaw out?

TONY
My ass just thawed last week. Uh.. Sir.

BRIG GENERAL JIM HANK
At ease Lieutenant, we have a situation that you need to take care of.

MAYOR OWEN PATRICKS
The Red River has already taken Caldonia and a few other unincorporated villages. It is scheduled to crest at twenty five feet in three days. That is good news and bad news.

TONY
Tell me the good news first.

MAYOR OWEN PATRICKS
The good news is that we have enough sand and bags for twenty seven feet of dike.

TONY
The bad news.

GOVERNOR TED SNYDER
It should take about 4 days to do it.

MAYOR LINDA STRAUSS
Plus the dike was built in 1958. Who knows if it will hold.

TONY
What are the weather forecasts calling for?

BRIG GENERAL JIM HANK
Well, if you believe in their witchcraft, they are calling for a 50 percent chance of rain in the next 48 hours.

TONY
Which means it will rain sideways. Where are the hot spots?

MAYOR OWEN PATRICKS
What do you mean?

BRIG GENERAL JIM HANK
He means where are the spots that are susceptible to having a new swimming pool in their front yard.

MAYOR OWEN PATRICKS
Sorry, I am not used to the fancy codes.

Tony shoots a glance at the General and shrugs his shoulders at this remark then the mayor leads them over to the large map of Great Forks.

MAYOR OWEN PATRICKS

Right now to our best predictions the Lincoln Park, the downtown core, and the University would take the brunt of the river in a worst case scenario.

TONY
What is your next move?

BRIG GENERAL JIM HANK
Your next move is to get out and get the troops ready for an emergency sand bag program if need be.

MAYOR LINDA STRAUSS
Excuse me if I am wrong sir, but the guard is not really meant to be used in that capacity. Aren't they meant to keep law and order.

GOVERNOR TED SNYDER
I will excuse you Mayor, and I will expect you to go out and tell all the people of Great Forks that the Guard is here not to help them in
their gravest hour of need but to keep them in order.

MAYOR LINDA STRAUSS
No disrespect sir...

BRIG GENERAL JIM HANK
None taken mayor but I think in this case the Guard's definition of capacity will be changed.

Private Snyder walks in to the room and interrupts.

PRIVATE SNYDER
General. You are needed at the barracks.

BRIG GENERAL JIM HANK
I will be there in a second.

PRIVATE SNYDER
Yes sir.

BRIG GENERAL JIM HANK
Also, Mutz, I will need you to be in charge of the media relations.

TONY
That shouldn't be hard, there is what? Two TV stations in town, and 3 radio?

BRIG GENERAL JIM HANK
For now. Also, I will assign you a driver.

TONY
Sir, if it is all right I would like to get my own.

BRIG GENERAL JIM HANK
Is there something wrong with my choice?

TONY
No sir. I just need someone I can trust.

BRIG GENERAL JIM HANK
Fine. Do whatever you need to do. If the armory paper pushers give you any grief just let them know that I okayed it.

TONY
Yes sir.

Tony salutes the General and he leaves the room. Tony smirks and grabs his cell-phone.

A Nice Little Disaster, the Screenplay...

Okay, I managed to get the script off the zip disc so I thought I would dump a few scenes here and there up on TundraTalk. Just so you have something to read, a lost art I might add (reading), and laugh at. So since I wrote this about six years ago, and read it again for the first time just on Wednesday, I will tell you that I would change a few things if I had a choice. Overall I likes it, it is a good read. Laughed a bit. There are a few plot holes and some questionable characters but overall an okay story. Some of the stories in this script are stories that Tony told me actually happened. See if you can figure out which stories. The whole ex girlfriend thing is all made up and Tony having a dog names Raul is also fiction. Don Schmith, of the WOI Scmiths, has a dog named Opie that is true. I hope you all enjoy this...

Oh wait, as you read this some of you will see some familiar names. I tried to work everyones names into this one. Some from here in Edmonton and the others from the states. I also as you read will notice that I have seen a lot of action films and I like to make all my characters smart asses. Lots of quotes from Star Wars also. A few inside jokes are in there also. I have tried to keep the screenplay format for you so it is easier to read. I have included just two scenes from act one. More will come later.

A Nice Little Disaster Act One...

FADE IN:

EXT. CALDONIA NORTH DAKOTA -- EARLY EVENING
Several people are working frantically to sandbag a dike to save their neighborhood. The neighborhood is situated on the RED RIVER in North Dakota. The RED RIVER has swelled recently due to a large winter run off. STEVE, DAVE AND CHESTER SCHOENROCK are brothers. Dave being the oldest and Chester the youngest of the brothers. The Schoenrock brothers are thin, rugged, hard working individuals. FRED, a Farmer and their neighbor, is helping.

Another farmer drives up in his pickup swiftly.

FARMER
You guys better get outta here. The dike is about to give.

STEVE
This is just like that movie.

DAVE
Which one?

STEVE
You know the one with that Christian Slater. The one about the bank robbery during a flood.

CHESTER
That movie sucked.

STEVE

Yeah.

Steve gives Chester a high five.

STEVE
Could you imagine if the river just came like a wall at us?

DAVE
Screw that, this dike will hold. No wall of water, no tight shots of you running in slow mo, no saving the girl, and definitely no Christian Slater.

CHESTER
He's a nimrod anyway. Remember Kuffs? That movie sucked too.

FRED
Hey Siskel, Ebert. You guys need to do less yapping and more bagging.

Steve looks over his shoulder and gives Fred the finger. As he does this his attention is drawn to the horizon.

STEVE
Holy shit! Here comes Christian Slater. Let's get the hell out of here.

Steve and his brothers run and jump into their jacked up 1982 Blazer along with the neighbor whose house they were trying to save. They speed off in the rising waters.

DAVE
Hurry up, hurry up! That water is moving fast.

Steve drives frantically through the small town. They spot a resident, MRS. KUSS, trying to flag them down. She is a short old gray haired woman who lives alone.

CHESTER
Hey, Steve. Check it out. We better stop and get Mrs. Kuss.

They pull up and Steve swings the back end of the truck up to the deck which is almost under water.

STEVE
Hurry up. Grab your socks and lets go. This river is rising faster than I can drive this heap.

MRS. KUSS
I'm moving as fast as these old legs will go. Do you think I have time to get my Hummels?

DAVE
Get in the truck or we're all floating.

She looks at the height of the truck.

MRS. KUSS
Do you have a ladder so I can get in?

STEVE
Everybody is a comedian.

CHESTER
Holy shit, look at that!

Chester points out the back of the truck toward a building floating toward them.

CHESTER
Isn't that Mr. Weiser's shed?

DAVE
Yeah, and that's his house right behind it! Head for high ground NOW!

FADE OUT:

EXT. LAKE ASHTABULA -- SUNDOWN
TONY MUTZENBERGER is sitting on his porch overlooking the lake with the sunset going down over the horizon. Tony is about 28. He is a medium build with brown hair. It is unusually cold for April. He is drinking a Corona, Dwight Yoakam is on the radio, and Raoul, his pride Beagle, is by his side. All around his ranch home there are many pictures of Tony, a National Guard Lieutenant, with the General accepting awards. There are also pictures of Tony with big game animals that he has hunted. Most of the pictures are of Tony with his dog or his friend Mike. There is a large picture of Tony and Mike at a hockey game. They are both wearing Sioux hockey sweaters. The phone rings. Tony grabs his cell phone from his belt.

TONY
You are interrupting my sunset.

CAPTAIN RICH PATRICK
I'm sorry that I bothered you Lieutenant during such a momentous occasion.

Tony jumps to attention as if the Captain were there.

TONY
Sorry sir.

CAPTAIN RICH PATRICK
That's okay. At ease.

TONY
What can I do for you sir?

CAPTAIN RICH PATRICK
We have a situation in Great Forks. We need someone to come in and coordinate troops, media, and civilians.

TONY
Is it the Red?

CAPTAIN RICH PATRICK
Yes.

CAPTAIN RICH PATRICK
I don't know all the specifics but if the dikes don't hold this could be big. Wrath of God type shit. The National Guard needs someone we can depend on and the General requested..er..How can I put this? Insisted on you.

TONY
I'm honored.

CAPTAIN RICH PATRICK
No. You you are on your way.

TONY
Right.

CAPTAIN RICH PATRICK
Thank you Lieutenant. I will see you in Great Forks by 0500.

TONY
Thank you sir.

Tony hangs up phone, looks at the sunset.

TONY
Just another sunset ruined by technology.

Talking to Raoul

TONY
What do you say about Great Forks Raoul? I hear it is beautiful this time of year. Yeah right, if it was beautiful I wouldn't be "requested". I only get "requested" to disasters. Wrath of God type shit. Great.

Tony finishes his Corona and he and Raoul leave the deck and go inside to pack.

FADE OUT: