FIRST: First things first. I need to give this to you first.
CLICK HERE and watch the trailer for the new Trailer Park Boys movie. I cannot wait for this one. Highlight of the trailer - "I'm gonna piss on him Julian. Take the wheel.". Classic. I just about pissed myself laughing at that.
NEXT: Today is the day. Almost like Christmas in a way. Can you feel it? Like the day of Super Bowl XXXI. A day that is filled with excitement and tension. Today is the day I announce the first member of the most ELITE squad of homeboys who will walk the planet as one. A posse to end all posses. An Entourage to end all Entourage's. It is just like
Brett Favre to try to upstage us on such a big day. Dick. We will discuss this more later, but first...
As you can see in the photo above that the man who went last, is the man who is picked first.
Shawn Hauser, of the Green Bay Hauser's, aka Hauserinskinov, will be the first man to walk side by side with five other guys who all share the same vision. Five guys that will aspire to be THE ultimate. Five guys who every TV show, every awards show, every upscale sports bar, every major sporting event, and every movie premiere will want us to attend.
First and foremost if Hauser was to decide to retire he would not drag it out year after year. He would just shut it down. If you are a member of this elite squad there will be no posturing to leave at the end of the year and join another rival posse.
On that same note, as leader of this posse, there will be no signing of new and up and coming members to sit behind you. I will not be talking about that kid being the 'future' of the posse all the while undermining the current members status in the posse and then eventually pushing him out. If said member wants to come back after a short retirement I will not tell him he can 'compete' for a spot in the posse. That spot is HIS only.
Okay, sorry that I went off on a bit of a rant, but this Favre thing is bugging me. Hauser, as has been discussed at length here in TT, is from Green Bay and is the guy who called that brilliant
play two year ago during the Seachicken game at Lambeau where Favre nearly fell to the ground as he passed the ball. Exactly as Hauser drew that up, and called it in to Favre's helmet radio.
What is Hauser's role in this posse? Well let me tell ya. Hauser will be the guy who will drive. Since he has spent most of his life driving self absorbed reporter divas he can handle this position with no problems. He will be the go to guy when the group needs something and needs it now. With his athletic ability and street sense he will have no problems finding us some Funyuns at 2 am in Sheboygan if called upon to do so. Now don't get me wrong, Shawn is not a gopher just to be sent on errands for the rest of us. In this posse it is all for one. We will all gladly jump up to do what the collective wants, we all accept our roles. Hauser is also our hook up for extreme sports if we need a weekend of adrenaline rush.
One plus on Hauser's side is that he is a hockey fan and can discuss it intelligently. For example if some pussy, like say Gary Bettman, decides to say something about how fighting needs to be eliminated from the game he can stand up, be recognized, and tell Bettman he is a tool and he needs to crawl back under his mommy's skirt and shut the hell up.
So, lets see how the man himself feels about this appointment...Hauser, take it away.
Dear TundraTalk, Well well......What would GW....George Washington (not that other freak that ran the US of A into the ground) have said when his mug was blasted into the side of a chunk of rock? Probably....................ah yah, duh! Bought freakin' time you pushed the plunger and put me up for all to see......and praise!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I could essentially stop right here, nuff said!
Nahhhhhhhhhhhhh, it is truly an honor to be on the rock (as I will refer to it) with my good man the American-Canadian. A great guy that would have yer back anytime and any place, and I reciprocate that feeling! That my friends is what the rock is all about, having your boys backs.
No sense in running smack on the rest of ya'll's......looking forward to seeing who all will make up the complete rock, who else will get blasted on the granite?!
I'd write more but as I speak OLD number 4 is yet again getting the itch to jump off the tractor and lace 'em up.....let's be honest here, that freakin' itch will still be wreaking havoc with him when they are lowering the wood box 5 feet south.....but what the hell...........he provides job security for us media types here in TITLETOWN!
Cross your fingers and hope like hell....that you too can park your mug on the big ol' rock.......time for an Ice Cold Pabst Blue Ribbon.
HauserinskinovNice job Hauser. You did yourself proud in your interview and you deserve to be in this elite group. I will be publishing the rules and regs of the posse soon so stayed tuned fort that. Now if any of you would like to give your congrats to the man, or tell me I am wrong to add him, send me a note and we will publish your thoughts and or concerns.
NEXT:So Number 4 decided today to
come back out of retirement to play for the
worst franchise in NFL history. Oh, and click on that last link and look at what comes up. 'Are you ready 4 some football?' it says. Well, I have not seen any good football out of Minnesota since, well, FOREVER. Now I know you could get confused with that last statement and think it is the Bengals. Nope, at least they had Boomer, the queens had nothing and liked it. I know we have discussed this at length here in TT, but I feel compelled to say it all again. Ted Thompson is the reason this happened. Ted himself, not Favre. Had Ted just let the man play, we would not be talking about this now. Just have another look at the pic of him and Mike McDumbshit as Favre is calling it quits. That does not look like two guys who are grateful for all that Favre gave them, but two guys who are scared shitless as to what Favre is going to say. Oh, and Deanna really looks happy to be
sitting next to them doesn't she?
Favre is just so set on sticking it to Ted that he is willing to tarnish his legacy. No I am not talking about playing another year and playing poorly. I am talking about putting on the ugly purple jersey and playing for a lost cause. The queens will never earn that capital letter from me. I vow that I will never have to capitalize their name until they win the Super Bowl. Since they will never do that, with or without Favre, I will never have to capitalize their name. Suck it Minnesota.
I do want you to know that this is an equal opportunity website. I have from time to time let those who wear the purple give their opinion. So therefore I have some statements from a few queen fans who hang out here from time to time...
First up is a west coast queen fan.
Shane T Keller, who has been involved with the color purple on many levels. As a queen fan, and as an employee of 'His Purple Highness',
Prince. That's right, you may as well color his life purple. Take it away Shane....
Dear TundraTalk,
I could take the course of good sense team building philosophy. How it would be better to invest in a younger quarterback that we could build upon and to worry about possible discord in the team ranks and Farve's hot and cold running attitude etc etc.
But no, I am taking the course of unabashed spite and cynicism! I want to dress up the Golden Cheddar Boy of Greenbay in Purple (the color of royalty you know) parade him through the streets of Greenbay Wisconsin and then park his old tired $10 million dollar ass at the water cooler. I don't care if all he does this season is shoot Gatorade into Adrian Peterson's mouth after every down. This will be the best season ever!!
Put that on your Brat and Eat It!!Shane
Thank you Shane for your unbiased and calm statements. You are really on the fence on this one aren't you? Purple is the color of royalty, but it is also the color of little girls and princesses. As for that parade you are going to have in Green Bay? We had one of those back in 1996, it was called the SUPER BOWL PARADE. Not sure if you have ever seen one of those in Minnesota. Oh yeah that's right you HAVEN'T. Deal with that.
As for him getting gatorade for Adrian, kinda appropriate that he is wearing purple with a name like that, I am all for it. In fact I will agree with you. I think he should ride the pine.
Although I would love to see Ted Thompson eat a little crow if Favre pulled a victory out of his ass against the Pack. Do not take that as me rooting for the queens, THAT WILL NEVER HAPPEN. What that is me rooting against Ted Thompson.
Next up is Steve Iverson, of the Morehead Iversons, and his two or three cents...
Chris:
Here’s my random thoughts regarding the alleged signing of Brett Favre to the winningest professional sports franchise in the 1990’s. No rings, but best winning percentage. Check it out if you don’t believe me.
1.)1. I saw Rosenfels in real life at the first live intra-squad scrimmage on 8/7. I said then he should be the starter this season and that was verified at the first pre-season game last Friday in Indy. Why spend 10 million for getting the same end result (early playoff exit if everything goes good)?
2. 2. That same end result means the Brad Childress era will sometime shortly after the new year 2010.
3. 3. Who gets cut to make room? I say T Jack is gone.
4. 4. This is entirely a move to get an extension to the Dome lease and leverage getting a new stadium deal pushed through the State. They’ll be able to say “we’ve sold out the dome for the last 11 years, blah blah blah” and try to get a new one. Zigmunt needs to open his checkbook a bit more, then they might say “here’s a quarter of a billion”.
5. 5. As always, I will still look forward to the big discounts on Viking apparel right around Christmas as they are either already out or soon to be out of the playoffs.
6. 6. Cheech Harvin is going to be a play maker not se-en since 1998 Moss.
That’s all I can come up with under all the pressure you put me under. Later.
Can you get Leinies in Saskatchewan?
Respectively Submitted,
Steve Iverson
Thank you Steve, for those honest and mostly truthful words. If I did not know you I would believe you were a Packer fan.
Which would be okay with us if you wanted to switch. The NFL radio said that Sage had looked good (which is always relative when you are speaking about a queen QB) so far in camp so you are spot on on that comment. Childress will be gone next year, they will sell a lot of seats in that stupid dome, you will get cheap purple gear, not sure about Cheech Harvin, but he has to at least drive over a cop and ride a sex boat, and no I cannot get Leinies in Saskatchewan. Sorry about all the pressure, I just wanted you to bring it.
Well, I will leave you with this. Another open letter to Brent Favre. That's right, I 
know will refer to him as Brent Favre.
Dear Brent,
Well I guess you have gone and done it. You decided to let that bald Mr. Noodle look alike in Minnesucka talk you into playing again this year. You know what this means don't you? Did you weigh all the implications?
Did you consider all of us who have followed your career up until this point? Did you consider all of us who shelled out cash to buy number 4 jerseys, fatheads, bobbleheads, action figures, Favre pictures and footballs? Did you consider all of the people who have made the trek to Green Bay to eat at your restaraunt?
I guess not. You know that when you show up in Lambeau in that stupid Fu@king ugly ass purple jersey you will get your ass booed off.
I know that you are doing this mainly to stick it to Ted Thompson. I know, I hate the guy also. I hate him almost as much as the viqueens. Almost. On my list of hate he ranks just above Chris Duncan, American Idol, and rectal exams, and just below the viqueens, Hitler and hemorrhoids. Oh and by the way, it is only approrpriate that on the week that I have a procedure schedule to examine my point of exit, you decide to fu*k me there , and all the other Packer faithful, two days before it.
Butt Brent has to do what Brent has to do. You go to Minnesota, you play for however long you can. Just let it be known that every Sunday when you put on that purple dress, that instead of me rooting for you and hoping that every time you throw the ball it is for six, I will be rooting for whatever defense is on the other side of the line will break your legs. LT on Theisman style, and I loved Theisman when I was a kid.
You suck Brent. There I said it. Are you happy?
Chris
All right, it has been a month. I have had plenty of time to digest the loss that was. I really just did not need that. In fact the week after it became a ZERO TOLERANCE week. If anyone brought up the game or the queens to me I just explained that I did not want to discuss it at all and walked away.
#1. First thing we need to do is let him know that we have decided that his number will be retired when HE retires, not anytime sooner. So we give the number to the punter to let him know that we are serious about it. No more ignoring the number when it comes time to hand out numbers to rookies and such. Hell we could even give it to the water boy.
#3. Just to take the last one a few steps forward, lets put Brent's picture crying at his presser when he retired the first time on all the toilet paper in the joint. Sell it at the Pro Shop. Since 90 percent of all the toilet paper in America is made in the Green Bay area this one should not be that hard. We could also put the number 4 on all the toilet seats so when you sit you are sitting on his number. Good idea Chris.
hell fire him yesterday. He has got to go. I am so sick and tired of his management. We have no o line to protect A Rod. He spends most of the game on his ass. He will not sign free agents, wait, I take that one back. He signed Ahman Green. AHMAN GREEN? Wasn't he the one that sent him packing saying he could not play anymore? I love Green. I am forever grateful for his years with the Pack but man, shake your head Ted. YOU SUCK. The minute you are gone is the minute this glorious franchise gets back on the right track. I hate Ted Thompson. I do.
