Shawn Hauser is the first member of the Posse...

FIRST: First things first. I need to give this to you first. CLICK HERE and watch the trailer for the new Trailer Park Boys movie. I cannot wait for this one. Highlight of the trailer - "I'm gonna piss on him Julian. Take the wheel.". Classic. I just about pissed myself laughing at that.

NEXT: Today is the day. Almost like Christmas in a way. Can you feel it? Like the day of Super Bowl XXXI. A day that is filled with excitement and tension. Today is the day I announce the first member of the most ELITE squad of homeboys who will walk the planet as one. A posse to end all posses. An Entourage to end all Entourage's. It is just like Brett Favre to try to upstage us on such a big day. Dick. We will discuss this more later, but first...

As you can see in the photo above that the man who went last, is the man who is picked first. Shawn Hauser, of the Green Bay Hauser's, aka Hauserinskinov, will be the first man to walk side by side with five other guys who all share the same vision. Five guys that will aspire to be THE ultimate. Five guys who every TV show, every awards show, every upscale sports bar, every major sporting event, and every movie premiere will want us to attend.

First and foremost if Hauser was to decide to retire he would not drag it out year after year. He would just shut it down. If you are a member of this elite squad there will be no posturing to leave at the end of the year and join another rival posse.

On that same note, as leader of this posse, there will be no signing of new and up and coming members to sit behind you. I will not be talking about that kid being the 'future' of the posse all the while undermining the current members status in the posse and then eventually pushing him out. If said member wants to come back after a short retirement I will not tell him he can 'compete' for a spot in the posse. That spot is HIS only.

Okay, sorry that I went off on a bit of a rant, but this Favre thing is bugging me. Hauser, as has been discussed at length here in TT, is from Green Bay and is the guy who called that brilliant play two year ago during the Seachicken game at Lambeau where Favre nearly fell to the ground as he passed the ball. Exactly as Hauser drew that up, and called it in to Favre's helmet radio.

What is Hauser's role in this posse? Well let me tell ya. Hauser will be the guy who will drive. Since he has spent most of his life driving self absorbed reporter divas he can handle this position with no problems. He will be the go to guy when the group needs something and needs it now. With his athletic ability and street sense he will have no problems finding us some Funyuns at 2 am in Sheboygan if called upon to do so. Now don't get me wrong, Shawn is not a gopher just to be sent on errands for the rest of us. In this posse it is all for one. We will all gladly jump up to do what the collective wants, we all accept our roles. Hauser is also our hook up for extreme sports if we need a weekend of adrenaline rush.

One plus on Hauser's side is that he is a hockey fan and can discuss it intelligently. For example if some pussy, like say Gary Bettman, decides to say something about how fighting needs to be eliminated from the game he can stand up, be recognized, and tell Bettman he is a tool and he needs to crawl back under his mommy's skirt and shut the hell up.

So, lets see how the man himself feels about this appointment...Hauser, take it away.

Dear TundraTalk,

Well well......What would GW....George Washington (not that other freak that ran the US of A into the ground) have said when his mug was blasted into the side of a chunk of rock? Probably....................ah yah, duh! Bought freakin' time you pushed the plunger and put me up for all to see......and praise!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I could essentially stop right here, nuff said!

Nahhhhhhhhhhhhh, it is truly an honor to be on the rock (as I will refer to it) with my good man the American-Canadian. A great guy that would have yer back anytime and any place, and I reciprocate that feeling! That my friends is what the rock is all about, having your boys backs.

No sense in running smack on the rest of ya'll's......looking forward to seeing who all will make up the complete rock, who else will get blasted on the granite?!

I'd write more but as I speak OLD number 4 is yet again getting the itch to jump off the tractor and lace 'em up.....let's be honest here, that freakin' itch will still be wreaking havoc with him when they are lowering the wood box 5 feet south.....but what the hell...........he provides job security for us media types here in TITLETOWN!

Cross your fingers and hope like hell....that you too can park your mug on the big ol' rock.......time for an Ice Cold Pabst Blue Ribbon.

Hauserinskinov

Nice job Hauser. You did yourself proud in your interview and you deserve to be in this elite group. I will be publishing the rules and regs of the posse soon so stayed tuned fort that. Now if any of you would like to give your congrats to the man, or tell me I am wrong to add him, send me a note and we will publish your thoughts and or concerns.

NEXT:

So Number 4 decided today to come back out of retirement to play for the worst franchise in NFL history. Oh, and click on that last link and look at what comes up. 'Are you ready 4 some football?' it says. Well, I have not seen any good football out of Minnesota since, well, FOREVER. Now I know you could get confused with that last statement and think it is the Bengals. Nope, at least they had Boomer, the queens had nothing and liked it. I know we have discussed this at length here in TT, but I feel compelled to say it all again. Ted Thompson is the reason this happened. Ted himself, not Favre. Had Ted just let the man play, we would not be talking about this now. Just have another look at the pic of him and Mike McDumbshit as Favre is calling it quits. That does not look like two guys who are grateful for all that Favre gave them, but two guys who are scared shitless as to what Favre is going to say. Oh, and Deanna really looks happy to be sitting next to them doesn't she?

Favre is just so set on sticking it to Ted that he is willing to tarnish his legacy. No I am not talking about playing another year and playing poorly. I am talking about putting on the ugly purple jersey and playing for a lost cause. The queens will never earn that capital letter from me. I vow that I will never have to capitalize their name until they win the Super Bowl. Since they will never do that, with or without Favre, I will never have to capitalize their name. Suck it Minnesota.

I do want you to know that this is an equal opportunity website. I have from time to time let those who wear the purple give their opinion. So therefore I have some statements from a few queen fans who hang out here from time to time...

First up is a west coast queen fan. Shane T Keller, who has been involved with the color purple on many levels. As a queen fan, and as an employee of 'His Purple Highness', Prince. That's right, you may as well color his life purple. Take it away Shane....

Dear TundraTalk,

I could take the course of good sense team building philosophy. How it would be better to invest in a younger quarterback that we could build upon and to worry about possible discord in the team ranks and Farve's hot and cold running attitude etc etc.
But no, I am taking the course of unabashed spite and cynicism! I want to dress up the Golden Cheddar Boy of Greenbay in Purple (the color of royalty you know) parade him through the streets of Greenbay Wisconsin and then park his old tired $10 million dollar ass at the water cooler. I don't care if all he does this season is shoot Gatorade into Adrian Peterson's mouth after every down. This will be the best season ever!!

Put that on your Brat and Eat It!!

Shane

Thank you Shane for your unbiased and calm statements. You are really on the fence on this one aren't you? Purple is the color of royalty, but it is also the color of little girls and princesses. As for that parade you are going to have in Green Bay? We had one of those back in 1996, it was called the SUPER BOWL PARADE. Not sure if you have ever seen one of those in Minnesota. Oh yeah that's right you HAVEN'T. Deal with that.

As for him getting gatorade for Adrian, kinda appropriate that he is wearing purple with a name like that, I am all for it. In fact I will agree with you. I think he should ride the pine.

Although I would love to see Ted Thompson eat a little crow if Favre pulled a victory out of his ass against the Pack. Do not take that as me rooting for the queens, THAT WILL NEVER HAPPEN. What that is me rooting against Ted Thompson.

Next up is Steve Iverson, of the Morehead Iversons, and his two or three cents...

Chris:

Here’s my random thoughts regarding the alleged signing of Brett Favre to the winningest professional sports franchise in the 1990’s. No rings, but best winning percentage. Check it out if you don’t believe me.

1.)1. I saw Rosenfels in real life at the first live intra-squad scrimmage on 8/7. I said then he should be the starter this season and that was verified at the first pre-season game last Friday in Indy. Why spend 10 million for getting the same end result (early playoff exit if everything goes good)?

2. 2. That same end result means the Brad Childress era will sometime shortly after the new year 2010.

3. 3. Who gets cut to make room? I say T Jack is gone.

4. 4. This is entirely a move to get an extension to the Dome lease and leverage getting a new stadium deal pushed through the State. They’ll be able to say “we’ve sold out the dome for the last 11 years, blah blah blah” and try to get a new one. Zigmunt needs to open his checkbook a bit more, then they might say “here’s a quarter of a billion”.

5. 5. As always, I will still look forward to the big discounts on Viking apparel right around Christmas as they are either already out or soon to be out of the playoffs.

6. 6. Cheech Harvin is going to be a play maker not se-en since 1998 Moss.

That’s all I can come up with under all the pressure you put me under. Later.

Can you get Leinies in Saskatchewan?

Respectively Submitted,

Steve Iverson

Thank you Steve, for those honest and mostly truthful words. If I did not know you I would believe you were a Packer fan. Which would be okay with us if you wanted to switch. The NFL radio said that Sage had looked good (which is always relative when you are speaking about a queen QB) so far in camp so you are spot on on that comment. Childress will be gone next year, they will sell a lot of seats in that stupid dome, you will get cheap purple gear, not sure about Cheech Harvin, but he has to at least drive over a cop and ride a sex boat, and no I cannot get Leinies in Saskatchewan. Sorry about all the pressure, I just wanted you to bring it.

Well, I will leave you with this. Another open letter to Brent Favre. That's right, I know will refer to him as Brent Favre.

Dear Brent,

Well I guess you have gone and done it. You decided to let that bald Mr. Noodle look alike in Minnesucka talk you into playing again this year. You know what this means don't you? Did you weigh all the implications?

Did you consider all of us who have followed your career up until this point? Did you consider all of us who shelled out cash to buy number 4 jerseys, fatheads, bobbleheads, action figures, Favre pictures and footballs? Did you consider all of the people who have made the trek to Green Bay to eat at your restaraunt?

I guess not. You know that when you show up in Lambeau in that stupid Fu@king ugly ass purple jersey you will get your ass booed off.

I know that you are doing this mainly to stick it to Ted Thompson. I know, I hate the guy also. I hate him almost as much as the viqueens. Almost. On my list of hate he ranks just above Chris Duncan, American Idol, and rectal exams, and just below the viqueens, Hitler and hemorrhoids. Oh and by the way, it is only approrpriate that on the week that I have a procedure schedule to examine my point of exit, you decide to fu*k me there , and all the other Packer faithful, two days before it.

Butt Brent has to do what Brent has to do. You go to Minnesota, you play for however long you can. Just let it be known that every Sunday when you put on that purple dress, that instead of me rooting for you and hoping that every time you throw the ball it is for six, I will be rooting for whatever defense is on the other side of the line will break your legs. LT on Theisman style, and I loved Theisman when I was a kid.

You suck Brent. There I said it. Are you happy?

Chris

I got some hate on, step back...

WKRP in Cincinnati: Thanksgiving Turkey Bomb! @ Yahoo! Video

FIRST: Check the video above. WKRP rules. One of the best moments in TV history. Well, next to anytime I was on TV.

Okay lets take care of some paperwork before I get the hate on. First I up got this email from Marty Frey, NBC big whig Frey's...

No more waiting.. It's finally here

DirecTV’s The 101 Network will broadcast the Canadian comedy “Trailer Park Boys.”

The TV series will make its debut on the network on Feb. 5 with two back-to-back episodes. Two new episodes will follow every Thursday night at 10 p.m.

DirecTV has acquired all seven seasons of the show, including 55 half-hour episodes and two specials.

“Trailer Park Boys,” which revolves around the misadventures of a group of trailer-park residents, is created and directed by Mike Clattenburg and produced by Clattenburg, Barrie Dunn and Michael Volpe.

Cool Marty. It is about time that the masses in the United States get wise to the Trailer Park Boys. This is the best news I have heard since Obama won the election. I am sure that Marty had a lot to do with this announcement. Since again, Marty is a big whig.

I did fill out a survey that DirecTV gave me about 6 months ago and listed TPB as one of the shows that I would like to see.. They gave me 3 free months of all the Showtime and Skinimax channels.. Maybe more people put it down as one of the shows they can't get but love.

Nice Job, Marty is the man.


NEXT: The video above is very funny also. I don't usually post or forward videos of kids but this one is just funny. A bit of funny before I get my hate on.

HATE: Okay, I have a few things to hate on this week. Can you imagine, I actually have a hate on the same week I am going to see the Nature Boy? Yup, it can and will happen.

The Super Bowl has come and gone. Some of you may not know, but up here in Canada the lame national broadcasters buy US programming and pretend that it is their own. In the past Global has bought the Super Bowl. This year CTV had the rights. What that means is that they can cover up the broadcast and put their logo in the corner and again, pretend that it is theirs. This also means that they cover up the good commercials. In the past I have always found a way to get the US broadcast so I they can not fu#k with my American right to see the game. You cannot believe how frustrating it is to have a network prop up the big game then take it away from you. Now you might think that they commision a bunch of their advertisers to put together great ads for everyone to see. NOPE, they just run shitty promos and Super Bowl ads from LAST year. they also have the habit of coming back from commercial late and missing whole plays. Global would take it a step further and run promos saying "Hey, tune in tomorrow to our morning show and see the commercials that you missed today during the game." Yeah, fu#k you Global. While we are at it fu#k you CTV.

Not a bad start to the hate.

HATE TWO: About middle of the third, my old man calls me up. Which is not unusual but he was just trying to get me going. He was watching the game in Arizona with a bunch of his retired friends. You know, a geriatric super bowl party. So he decides to put one of his friends on who just happens to be from Minneapolis. Of course this guy is a queen fan. I think they poision the water up there to make them just a bit slower than the rest of the country so they all end up queen fans. Now I could see that this might be funny if the Packers were in it and losing (not that this would happen). Anyway, he starts in on the last falls rap that Number 4 is going to be a viqueen. He says that that is all the media in Minneapple is talking about is that it is imminent that there will be an announcement that Favre will be wearing the ugly purple jersey.

Nice dad, ruin my day. I immediately do a search on the internet to see what I can find. Nothing. Not one article. Which does not mean it is not true, but still. WHAT IS IT WITH THESE MORONS IN PURPLE? Why are you guys so hung up on getting Number 4? Let me just put it this way. I am not ever gonna wish that Fran Tarkenton would have played for the Packers. NEVER. I do not want the guy who used to beat the Pack like a drum. I do not want Daunte CulPOOPer wearing Green and Gold EVER. Randy Moss, get the hell out of Green Bay.

Now I know i did at one time say that I would accept the a-hole number 84 as a Packer. BUT the only reason was is the Number 4 wanted him. If Number 4 wants him it trumps all my wishes. Deal with that. Favre has made a career out of beating the crap out of the queens but all you queenfans do is seem to wish for him to play in your crappy dome. Leave it alone, get over it, move on. Read my lips, or my blog, he ain't coming. Now go polish all those runner up trophies.

HATE THREE: This bit of hate is kind of a follow up to the moron kids hate. The other day as I was driving to work, again by that school. Some moron in the school zone decides it is NASCAR day on Rochedale Avenue. He speeds up and cuts in front of me using every inch that he had to get in front. He then drove about half of the block and then took two lanes and turned into the school.

I really hate a-holes who drive through a school zone too fast. PLUS this asshole is one of those jerk offs who feel they only need to scrape just enough of his window. You know the guy. The guy who feels that he only needs about a CD case big enough space on his window to see. Jerk off.

Oh and might I add, we are in a cold spell, like the rest of the world, the ice on his window was thick. I just want to get out and pummel guys like this. Really, who does he think he is? Whodini? Man, I am not one to point out laziness, cause I can be lazy at times, but this, and the littering idiot, are the epitome of lazy.

That is about all I have tonight, but this weekend will be one for the ages. I will have updates and pics and hopefully a podcast that will have a special guest by the name of The Nature Boy Ric Flair. SWEEEEEEEET.

Still working on my question. If you have some advise send it my way.

Now, GET BACK TO WORK!!!!!!

Super Sunday, Bears Suck, Donna goes to Ellen...

Oh ya, they do...

Super Bowl 41 is in the books and I am quite satisfied with the outcome. Da Bears Still suck and Rex (Dilfer) Grossman will be run out of the windy city within the week. I do not care for the Bears and am happy to see them choke in the big game. If I was a Bearsfan, I would be pissed. I would rather be like the Packers this year than the bears because I would rather miss the playoffs than get to the game and lose. That sucks. Bears Suck.



The only thing that kept that team with so many wins is that defense. Rex sucks. I dislike the bears, but there is still a bit of respect. With the viqueens, I hate them and there is NO respect. Mike Chaussee, of the Bismarck Chaussee's sent me this yesterday giving props the fact that Favre is coming back and the Bears still sucking and we are going to see Barnaked Ladies tonight...


Dude, nice week!!!

Barenakeds, BearSuckeds (hehe - they sucked), and Favre returns.
I honestly think we'll have a chance to go. Don't know if we can win it,
but the NFC sucks. We can beat any of those lame ass teams now.

And the Vike fans around here are legitimately worried. Life's pretty good
right now.

Isn't it great when the viqueens fan in your neighborhood is worried? I love it. I won a few bets off Principe this year since we swept the braided hair bastards. Grown men wearing purple. I also had Toby Peterson, of the Oilers, give me crap in the room about wearing my green and gold. I asked him what the queens record was this year and that shut him up real quick. Looks like I have two people to win money off of next year.

Speaking of Gene Principe. Have a look at this story on his ugly purple suit jacket. Man that is one ugly jacket. No it is more like ooooooogly.



Here is another piece of video for you to watch. This one is about the bears and how much they suck. Letterman had this on his show. Funny as hell. CLICK HERE to see the hilarity...


One more year

WHEN Number 4 leads the Pack back to the Super Bowl next year. That's right you hear it here first. Green Bay Packers, Super Bowl 42 champs. Now, unlike the idiot viking fan who went out and put a tattoo on his arm procalaiming that, I will not. I may put some money on it in Vegas. Now I just have to get to Vegas.

By the way that is Hauser, of the Green Bay Hauser's, behind number 4 in the blue jacket. Nice job Hauser. You can see his blog by clicking on the link on the right.


good crowd

We had some people over for the Super Bowl, the seventh annual. It was a good time. Weidman, Donnelly, Barnes, Doroshenko, Fletcher, Blashill, all the regulars were there. We got to watch it in glorious HD, all the good commercials, and the best part, Brett Favre Chili. That's right, straight from the Favre Family Cookbook, THE BEST chili you well ever taste. I ain't lying. Ask anyone.


Prince and his gutiar?

Prince totally rocked the halftime show. That was awesome. I know Shane your hatred for the 'Purple little bastard' but that guy can rock.


Better get you a copy

Just because I am a good guy, I am going to post the recipe here. That's right, I am not going to be a secret guy. Everything out in the open. Then when you have your Super Bowl Party next year, when the Packers are in it, you can make the Brett Favre Chili. Man I am a good guy. Print this one out....


INGREDIENTS

2 Pounds of Red Kidney Beans
4 Cups of Onions
1 1/4 pound of Garlic
1 1/2 sticks of Butter
2 Tablespoons of Flour
2 Tablespoons of Salt
1 Tablespoon of Pepper
15 Pounds of Ground Beef
4 Pounds of Green Bell Peppers, finely chopped
1 Pound of Red Bell Pepper, finely chopped
1 Gallon Tomato Sauce
10 Tomatoes, Diced
48 ounces of Rotel Tomatoes
48 Ounces of Spicy V-8
1/2 tablespoon of Tony Chachere's Seasoning
1/2 cup of Chili Powder

Soak Beans in enough water to cover, overnight (I usually just buy a big ass can of beans, Costco size, that are already soaked). Drain and rinse. Saute' 2 cups of onions and 1/4 pound of garlic in 1/2 stick butter until tender (frying pan). Sprinkle flour in with onions and garlic and mix well. Add beans and enough water to cover beans. Season with 1 tablespoon salt and 1/2 tablespoon pepper. Cook slowly on low heat for 1 hour or until beans are tender. In another pot (or three big ass ikea pots as I do it) brown ground beef with remaining onions; drain. Add in remaining garlic, butter, green peppers, red peppers, tomato sauce, Rotel tomatoes, diced tomatoes, Spicy V-8, and Tony Chachere's seasoning. Cook for 1 hour. Add the beans and cook for 30 minutes. Add in chili powder, remaining salt, and pepper. Serve with crackers, chopped onions, and grated cheddar cheese. Serves 20 to 30.


Nice looking stove

So if you want to give it a go, it is well worth the time. No one has gone away from the Peterson family Super Bowl Party unsatisfied. Okay. Now that we have that out of the way...

NEXT: Donna last week jetted off to LA for a few days. That of course left me with the two kids to take care of on my own. No, we did not burn the house down or McKenna did not reduce me to tears. I also did not get Dakota completely trained to change her own diaper. We were all good.

Why do you ask did Donna go to LA? She went down to see a taping of the Ellen Degeneres show. It is something that she has always wanted to do and since she has a year off and way too many airmiles we put her and her friend Colleen on a plane to Burbank for a week in LA. Here is a pic of her at the show...See if you can pick her out...



That is Donna up in the top right corner. I watched the show and I saw her in the crowd about 4 or 5 times. She got to see Barbara Walters, Serena Williams, and some band that I had never heard of. She also walked away with a couple of those prizes that 'everyone in the audience gets'. She got a Return of the King DVD with popcorn and a CD of the band that was playing. Nice. She had a great time and she is now planning a trip to see Oprah. Making the rounds. If she plans a trip to see Jerry Springer I will start to get worried.

LAST BUT NOT LEAST




Mrs. H ready to bring in the new H

Congrats to Johnny H for soon becoming a pappa. That is just what we need in this world is a little H. Dude, let me know what you get as soon as you can. The world needs to celebrate the new H.



Oh and one more thing. I got a call on Sunday night from Dead Moines Iowa. Andy Fales, of the Dead Moines Fales, wanted 'Chris from Green Bay' to come back and save their show from the doldrums of dumb Iowans. So me being the giving person that I am I decided to grant his wish. CLICK HERE and click on the SoundOff with Keith Murphy 02/04/07. My call is near the end so if you want to listen to the rest of the show go ahead but the best part is me at the end. Just before the rapid fire section.