NHL Playoff picks. Call your bookie and follow my lead...

Joel Witte, of the DC Witte's, sent me a link to the above ad campaign for the Boston Bruins. Freaking amazing. Laughed my ass off. There are three of them and I will put them in this post as we go along. Thank you Joel. You rule.

Okay, as you know, I am somewhat of a prognosticator. Yup, that was a pretty big word. Hope you enjoyed it, I did. Therefore I cannot go into this playoff season without telling you what WILL happen. If you care to remember, and I think some of you don't, I was perfect last year in the first round. PERFECT. Read it and weep. Well, I plan on doing better this year. As I said earlier, call you bookie, and bet the house. Here they are, the winning picks for this years first round.

EASTERN CONFERENCE:

BOSTON BRUINS (1) VS MONTREAL CANADIENS (8)

This one is almost a no brainer. Bruins are mean, tough, have great goaltending, and can score at will. They also have one of the two players I ever saw bend over to get through the visitors locker room door in Edmonton. Chara is a monster and everytime he came in and out of the door of the room at Rexall Place he had to literally bend over to get out. The other guy who had to do that was Eric Boogaard. These two teams hate each other so this will be entertaining, but it will be short. Bruins in 6.

Here is another of their ads...



PITTSBURGH PENGUINS (4) VS. PHILADELPHIA FLYERS (5)

This one is a bit tougher. The Penguins are playing great hockey right now in fact no one has been hotter in the East. BUT, I think the Flyers are another team that will punch you in the mouth while they beat you to the net. I like how they play hockey. A Bruins Flyers series would be great. Sid the kid might have something to say about it though so I am going to go with my heart and not my head on this one and pick the Penguins in 7.

Oh and if there are any Malkin fans out there I have a couple of McDonalds Malkin mini helmets that were only available here in Canada. Drop me a line if you want one.

NEW JERSEY DEVILS (3) VS. CAROLINA HURRICANES (6)

This series I probably will not watch a single game so I do not care about it much. I have never been a fan of the Devils and on that same note Ric Flair loves the Canes so I must also. Hurricanes in 5.

WASHINGTON CAPITALS (2) VS NEW YORK RANGERS (7)

Alex Ovetchkin once ducked us at Rexall for an interview. He went as far as not riding the bus with his team and getting security to lock down the back hall so he could sneak out the back door and get in a taxi. Wasted a lot of my time that night since the lame ass reporter I worked with would not just let it go. Now that I have my rant out of the way, I will tell you that in the same breath I like to watch Avery play hockey. He is a jack hole that does and says some really dumb shit, but he goes hard on the ice. I like the Caps in this one for several reasons. One being that I want Joel Witte to be able to cover the more than one round of the Stanley Cup playoffs and the other being that I just don't think Lundquist can stop the Russians on this Caps team. Sorry Hauser, Capitals in 6.

WESTERN CONFERENCE

SAN JOSE SHARKS (1) VS. ANAHEIM MIGHTY DUCKS (8)

This one is easy. Chris Pronger is a A-Hole and the Ducks, I will always refer to them as Mighty, were named after a shitty movie. San Jose in 5.

CHICAGO BLACKHAWKS (4) VS. THE GODLESS CALGARY FLAMES (5)

This one is going to be awesome. It is great to see the Hawks back in the playoffs. In fact since my team is not in this year, I will be wearing my Chelios number 7 on game day. Deal with that Flames. Every talking head on TV here in Canada is picking the Flames, kinda like every talking head in ND loves the queens. Forget it, the Bulin wall owns the Flames and the Hawks have too many scoring options. Hawks in 6.

VANCOUVER CANUCKS (3) VS. ST. LUIS BLUES (6)

Again another team that has been absent from the dance for many years the Blues finally get back. I love Keith Tkchuk but I just don't know if they will be able to solve Luongo. The Blues are also the hottest team in the NHL going into the playoffs. This could spell upset since the Canucks usually suck in the playoffs. I am going out on a limb here Blues in 7.

DETROIT RED WINGS (2) VS. COLUMBUS BLUE JACKETS (7)

Okay, you all know the hate on I have for the Wings. Well this year the hate on has a new twist. Ty Conklin, of the Green Bay Gamblers Conklins, is now on this team. Whoa, this sucks. I want with all my heart to have a Gambler get his name on the cup. But I do not want to see the Dead Wings win another cup. What do I do? I hate myself, Wings in 6.

There you have it sure fire pics to win. Now GET BACK TO WORK.