Talking to Americans...

Okay, today I have for you a bit of a study. WAIT, don't surf away, just listen for a minute. This study is aimed at my peeps down south of the border, yup, America. There was this show that aired a few years ago on the CBC. Rick Mercer has always included in his show a segment where he talked to Americans. Thus the title "Talking to Americans". Basically it is Canadians making fun of Americans on how little they know about Canada. My answer to that is basically who needs to know about Canada? Really.

After living here now for 8 years, wow, 8 years. That is a long time. Anyway, I think that a person should know a bit about the Great White North just to round out their education, oh and also in case you get interviewed by Rick Mercer.

Now you may be saying that "There is NO way I would ever be interviewed by that dude. What are the chances?". Well, pretty good since I know two of the people he talked to in the show. Really. One is a lady (Susan Reilley) who was the assignment editor for WOI when I worked there, and the other is Don Schmith's, of the Des Moines Schmiths, brother (I think, I have yet to confirm it). So you really need to know it COULD happen.

Back when this show first aired I tried to do this study by sending the DVD around to you to report on then send it on to the next person. Well that did not work well because the second person on the list did not forward it. It kinda got stopped before it even got started. This was of course before YouTube and all the technology that allows me to put it up on the internet (did you know that it is for more than just porn?) so you all can see it.

So now you are saying what is the catch? Well I just want you, the American, to take some time (45 minutes) and watch the show and tell me what you think. I might have the chance to meet Rick one day and I would love to show him what people south of the border think of this show.

Send me a note and let me know what you think, or if you think the things that they are making fun of are important for you to know. Did it stir up that American pride that says no one makes fun of an American, with oput some payback? Let me know if you understood any of the jokes. Let me know how stupid you think that some of the people are. My thought is that most people could not point out anything past their own state let alone something from Canada. This is serious, I want to have quite a few things to share.

For those of you who want to cheat, I prepared a cheat sheet for you to read as you watch. Just print out this page and follow along with the jokes. If you get through the show and don’t need this sheet, good for you. If you don’t, don’t worry about it because you really don’t need to know any of this information. Really. Good luck and ‘Take off Eh!”

Make sure you let me know what you think. Oh and you Canadians can let me know what you think also. As if you need an invitation to let me know what you think. Just do it.



Talking to Americans from hamiltongbp on Vimeo.

Talking To Americans
A Study of an Inferiority Complex

Here it is the cheat sheet for you the un Canadian. This should explain all those times during the show where you go “huh?”. For the times where the laugh track is going and you aren’t. And just to let you know who the hell Paul Martin is. All of these explanations are in the order that the questionable word appears in the show.

1. Mulrooney - Brian Mulrooney is a former Canadian Prime Minister who was very unpopular for his apparent ass kissing to Reagan. He is not Eskimo.

2. Bouchard - Former Quebec Premier (like a governor).

3. Gil Duceppe - French politician.

4. Saskatchewan - Province in Canada just above Montana and North Dakota.

5. Paul Martin - former Finance Minister of Canada. Politician.

6. Tet Dumaird - French for ‘Head of Shit’.

7. Locien Bouchard - Former Quebec Premier. Not a King.

8. Bannock Bread - Naitive bread. Very heavy bread.

9. Caribu Eggs - No such thing. Caribu is like a reindeer. They do not lay eggs.

10. Ferme Le Bouche - French for ‘Close your mouth’.

11. Menegez - French for ‘to eat’.

12. Poutine - French dish that is fries with cheese and gravy.

13. West Edmonton Mall - Largest mall in the world located in Edmonton Alberta. Huge tourist attraction similar to the Mall of America. Owned by the same persons.

14. Beaver Balls - Not a real food. Only exist on male beavers.

15. Saskatchewan - Canada province that is landlocked. No ocean, no cod, no seals.

16. Toronto - Located in Ontario. No polar bears.

17. Tim Horton’s - A chain of coffee and donut shops here in Canada. Tim Horton was a former hockey player for the Maple Leafs.

18. Jean Chretien - former Prime Minister of Canada. He is French, white. Not black or Asian.

19. Peter Mansbridge - Chief anchor for the CBC. Not a bridge.

20. Canada’s Navy - Has access to ocean. Has ships.

21. Gordon Lightfoot - A singer from Canada that is not a chief. No rhino’s in Saskatchewan, let alone a hunt.

22. Woodie - There is no $5 coin in Canada.

23. Jean Chretien - former Prime Minister of Canada.

24. Provinces - Canada has Provinces not states.

25. Guy LaFleur - Hockey player for the Montreal Canadiens.

26. Labrador Wolly Elephant - Labrador is a part of the Mairtime Provinces and there are no elephants, let alone wolly ones.

27. Vancouver Caribu - Vancouver is in British Columbia and there are no Caribu in Vancouver, except in the zoo.

28. Timbits - Tim Horton’s sells donut holes and calls them ‘Timbits’.

29. Hullaballoo - Hull is a town in Ontario and the word ‘Hullaballoo’ is not slang.

30. Blinky Mulrooney - Brian Mulroony, former Prime Minister of Canada. Just another chance to call him a brown noser.

31. Toronto Canada - Ottowa is the capital of Canada.

32. Jean Poutine - Poutine is a food and Chretien was the Prime Minister.

33. Joe Clark’s Hole - Joe Clark is a politician in Canada who is still working in Ottowa. Not a national park.